When I was looking around the gift shop at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, I stumbled upon a book named "Jane Austen's Guide to Dating," written by Lauren Henderson. Beside the book, there was "Pride and Prejudice" with a green vintage-inspired cover. My eyes suddenly lit up with excitement and I convinced my mother to buy Lauren Henderson's book for me. I have never seen a copy of that book in any bookstore here in Manila. I could definitely relate this wonderful discovery to the Inkheart line, "All books are destined."

In the beginning of December, I started turning the pages of the book. It consisted of 10 chapters with some quizzes and a compatibility chart. I just finished reading Chapter 1 and I am already getting fine pieces of advice.

Chapter 1: If You Like Someone, Make It Clear That You Do

The title of the chapter seemed very straightforward, isn't it? But it is exactly what this book is advising to its readers. This book emphasized on three major points: Enjoy the moment, be open and easygoing, and don't make snap judgments.

Enjoy the Moment

Women need to be courted and they are born to enjoy it. However, women nowadays tend to obsess over men and overdo everything. The truth is, this obsession do not sweep men off their feet. This only send men running away. It even gives the impression that women are worrying about whether they are pleasing the men which should be the other way around.

What women need to do in dating or in a relationship is let men please them. If women are pleased, men are also pleased. In addition, women should show the men that they are pleased with the date, the choice of restaurant, the kind of flowers they received, and anything that they liked about the date. When men see that women are pleased, they see it as a good sign that they are making women happy.

Be Open and Easygoing

"Be yourself" is absolutely the most popular advice anybody can give to another at any situation. Following this advice still has a great effect on dating. From the very start, women and men should be making a good impression on each other. But there is no need for women and men to impress each other with things that they do not have. It will only make things difficult and probably send the wrong signals to the other person. They still have to show each other who they really are or else the dating process will not be that easy.

In dating, there are times that trusting good commonsense and instincts are the things women should do. Most books would say that if a woman likes a man and he asks her out, she should not say "yes" at once. Jane Austen is telling each woman that they need to stop hiding their true feelings and be open about it instead. Women must tell people that they like them instead of hiding their true feelings or it may be too late.

Pride and Prejudice serves as a perfect example of how women, not only men, should better show more affection than she feels. Mr. Darcy and Jane Bennet almost lost their loved ones because of their pride. Jane obviously liked Mr. Bingley but she concealed her true feelings from him. Being afraid and guarded, Jane lost the opportunity of fixing Mr. Bingley. She experienced being wounded and hurt before she could have him back. Due to the explanation of Jane's sister Elizabeth Bennet to Mr. Darcy and the help and assurances provided by Mr. Darcy to Mr. Bingley, Mr. Bingley finally decided to ask for her hand.

As for Mr. Darcy, his first meeting with Elizabeth Bennet have shown that he noticed her but acted atrociously about it. When he finally realized he really liked her, Elizabeth snubbed him off. He confidently proposed to her which has greatly surprised Elizabeth. Despite Elizabeth's upsetting family background, Mr. Darcy was so sure that she would accept his hand. However, Elizabeth slapped him down, feeling insulted. When they met again, Mr. Darcy started courting her in a proper manner. For the second time, he proposed to Elizabeth and she shyly reciprocated his feelings. A woman who has been confronted by a man with so much pride should remain to act modest and could only show her true feelings once she has brought him down to his knees.

Don't Make Snap Judgments

A man who did not make it on a woman's prospective-radar may be the right person for her. Women usually make up her own idea of a man they would like to date. At times, they miss out on the possibility of a good blossoming relationship. They turn down men who do not fit in their standards and only realize it later on that they made a mistake. Women are not only the victims in this case. Even a man who have never thought of dating a woman as his long-term prospect suddenly finds out that she is the one.

What men and women should do is be open-minded. Fifteen minutes would not hurt if this resulted to a conversation that is mutually enjoyed by two people. How would you know if the person is the one if you have not spent time getting to know the person?

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As a Christian, I do not have the habit of leading guys on. I do spend time to get to know the person, enjoy the moment, and be open and easygoing. But once I see some characteristics that could affect myself, my family and friends, and most of all, my faith, I know what to do. He's off my prospective-radar. You may tell me that it is too soon to take him off and I should hang on until I see sparks fly and hear birds chirping. However, I could feel something for someone based on our first few meetings. I believe we need to make it clear to ourselves, and not only to the person we like, our feelings. If we know that we like the person from the start, then everything else will easily follow.

One more thing, women have the choice to make up their ideal man and list down Godly standards of their man. Women know themselves well. God designed women for someone who can compliment them. If women do not make standards, how can they choose right? Will they just jump in to every relationship with every guy who courts them? Women should make up their ideal man, make their own standards, ask for God's standards, and bridge those standards. What my mother always tells me is that our standards cannot be met by a man all at once. That is why our standards should be aligned to God's standards for His standards are what your ideal man still needs to fulfill to be fit for you.

To women who are dating someone right now, I assure you that getting to know the person, enjoying the moment and being open and easygoing can help you decide if he is the right man. There are instances when we overdo the enjoyment, go overboard, and we forget to pause and consider our actions. Sometimes we need to trust our instincts once in awhile but we also need to trust our faith. We are still women who have to be respected and cared for.

A woman needs to guard her heart for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Don't ever forget that you are God's princess and you are meant to be sought after! Find a man who brings out the best in you just like what God does. When you found the man and you have God's assurance, then that is the time you can make your feelings clear to him.

Next: Jane Austen's Guide to Dating Chapter 2