I don't mind walking. It is one of the reasons why I stay in my current body weight for almost my entire life. I commute by public transportation to work or to other places where I will meet my friends or family. Though it is difficult and tiresome, I always look at the positive sides of it and the burden lessens.

The most difficult thing in commuting by public transportation is the way back home. Rush hours and countless traffic jams can be found everywhere. Getting stuck is always normal. People can never escape it for it is  a part of the city life. It has always been my most favorite due to the thought of getting home after a long day's work and also my least favorite part of commuting due to everything else.

When I was on my way home tonight, I experienced the most dreadful thing a commuter could ever experience: The shortage of money when there was supposed to be enough. As I used my last money to pay the jeepney driver up to Quezon City City Hall, I found out that I rode the wrong jeepney. I started rummaging through my bag to see if there were hidden bills or coins but I found none. I got stuck at City Hall. I wanted to take a taxi cab and pay for it when I get back home but I dreaded taxi cabs at night. So I walked. I walked from City Hall to Philcoa. Then at Jolibee, I started planning. I composed a text for my Mom but unluckily, my autoload was not enough to send a text. Wow. I really felt sorry for myself. But instead of crying, I straightened up and walked towards University Avenue. Imagine a woman walking in a backpack with a laptop, a lunchbox, and a steel coffee container in one hand. I looked like a poor high school kid, alright. But my mind was geared to go on and finish this walk until I reach my destination. As I walked towards the first block, I was happy to be walking aside a student and a family of three out of nowhere. Then as I was about to reach the end of the block, I got a little scared because of three scary-looking teenagers who were smoking and a bunch of children who commented sensual stuff at each other. I would rather not mention what they said because as a teacher, I felt so bad for them. Children. Oh, God help them. I chose to walk near the road instead of the side pathways. I feared them. But when I reached Vanguard, I felt better to be only a few blocks away from home. Luckily enough, there were lots of joggers everywhere! I walked and walked until I saw this...


Then a smile on my face appeared. "I made it home," was all I could say.

Despite the exhausting day I had at work, the strength that I got to walk a five-kilometer distance was unexplainable. Maybe the two pizza parties of students today helped store a lot of energy inside of me but I also felt it was coming from a source stronger than my own.

I expect that people would judge or pity me for this story. But I am surprised at myself for not crying and for taking it lighter than I have imagined. I am not at all ashamed of experiencing this actually. I don't even know why I am blogging about this right now. All I know is I did not regret this experience. It reminded me of a lot of things to keep in mind. Even though this has proven how brave and strong I was, I would never do it again. This walk would be the first and the last. I would never risk myself like that ever again unless you, my friends are with me, of course. I was only blessed that GOD guided my every step toward home tonight. I am forever grateful.

He walked with me. And now it feels like it was the best walk I have ever had.

While taking a shower this morning (yes I think of peculiar things here), I randomly counted the number of flights I have taken since birth. If my counting and my memory were correct, I had 25. I just had to say "WOW" at that. Because at the age of 25, I have flown 25 flights. It was like I have flown each year. But hey, the truth has been sinking in.

I am a quarter of a century old.

For those who have reached this age, I am sure there was one moment that you thought of yourself--what you have achieved or what you would want to achieve. I feel like I have not achieved anything at all. But I do have a lot of things I would want to achieve. Is this how it feels like to be 25? Counting things and evaluating myself?

I talked to my friends who were experiencing the same thing. They told me they stopped aging when they reached a certain age. They felt like they were in college forever.

I am also in the same zone. I still feel young and vulnerable, like everything is marked with a question. I still don't know where I am going or what I must do. But I know I am rekindling old things and trying out new things. I am exploring. I feel like a wanderer most of the time.

But just like what J. R. Tolkien said, "Not all who wander are lost."


To be lost at 25 must be a catastrophe. I am not completely lost. I choose not to be for there are better places to be, better flights to take, and brighter things to see. I am a wanderer with a definite destination and purpose because of God. Through him, I still feel youth and vigor like a child. And conflict and mystery are still present from time to time.

I am a wanderer at 25. With complete faith, I think this is how it must be.