I would be lying if I say that this is the first time I am crying because of a heart-related issue. But this time, I realized that I have not been crying over a certain person at all. I was crying because of failed expectations. My needs and wants were not met by a certain person. Because of the so-called destiny that I was aiming for did not occur, my heart got broken. The reason for my pain was not the person I invested feelings in. It was me. I got my heart broken because of myself.

I am the one who got my heart broken because I allowed myself to be fooled by my heart. But the truth is, if we want our hearts to be saved from the pain, we cannot allow ourselves to be fooled by our own hearts. This is an opinion that not many people believe in. Most people will say, "Follow your heart!" But the truth is, "Don't follow your heart." Our hearts are deceiving. Instead of hearing from God, we will end up hearing from our hearts and acting in accordance to what a typical person in this world needs and wants. But are we supposed to behave like every typical person in this world? No. God wants us to be different from the world. He desires so much more for us, more than what we need and want.

Truly, I have proven once again that conversing with God about a heart issue is the best. He likes it when we pour out everything we feel. He even knows how we feel before we talk to Him. He is the source of the peace that is beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7). I do not completely understand His plans and His reasons. But I do understand the fact that He loves me very much. Knowing that, I think having Him and only Him is enough.

These are what God and I talked about tonight. I told him that "Never again...

1) ...will I allow my heart to dominated by a man or anything apart from God. Indeed, God is a jealous God. Once someone or something overcomes my heart and sets Him aside, He gets hurt too. God must be above everything. I mean everything."

2) ..will I let my heart cry or hope for someone who does not value me or a person who is not ready to be with me at all. Investing my feelings on someone or something uncertain will only result to failed expectations. God will only allow a certain man who will not only value me as a woman but will always love God and remain in the center of His will."

3) ..will I forget that I am a princess of God, designed and created to be sought after. I am not created to go after men. I am born to be pursued. I am not saying that I will never show feelings or send signals toward a person. But I will never become the "man" in the relationship: The first to confess and the person who makes all the effort and pursues. I will allow them to do what God called them to do."

In this life, we can easily be fooled by our own hearts and by people around us who are setting the standard of the world. But aren't God's standards higher than the world's? The happiness that following our hearts may bring us won't last. God gives us joy that will enable us to walk with peace, wisdom, and grace in eternity. When we follow God, instead of our hearts, every issue of the heart becomes manageable. 

Follow God and your heart will never be fooled again.