Maybe some of you have known that I am really inlove with this big hairy mammal with-no-definite-species: Totoro. I have been watching the movie since childhood and as far as I know, my Dad introduced the movie to me while we were living in Japan. I never stopped watching it each year.

The truth is, I have been scavenging lots of internet sites for years but I couldn't find a Ghibli store here or any seller who sells Ghibli stuff. It was only this year that I found one seller who also happened to be an avid fan with a huge collection of the dolls. But she was living somewhere in Laguna. She was selling second-hand and brandnew Totoro dolls to me but I was having second thoughts on them due to their expensive prices and availability. I was looking for a Totoro doll which is dark grey and large enough to hug in my arms. She was offering small ones in very expensive prices.

I almost gave up, I tell you. Totoro was really difficult to find. Then I just listened to my Dad who said he'll just buy me one once he travels to Japan next year. He told me to wait. Then a friend of mine also told me to buy it myself and she'll accompany me. I actually listened to their advice and just trust God that He will let me have one someday soon.

Last weekend, I suddenly remembered searching for it and so I did type "Totoro" in the search box in Ebay. To my amazement, there it was: 

I was jumping for joy and I quickly texted the seller that I was super duper interested in buying it. I was hoping it was not from a far-away island in our country. In fact, I found out that the seller does meet-ups in UP and he could meet me there. Easy and convenient! Definitely God-meant. 

But of course, I had my likes and dislikes when I was growing up. I had turned into an alternative rock music junkie and tuned into a little hip hop music at times. Of course, my parents wouldn't allow me to listen to rock/hip hop artists at first because they were too noisy and the lyrics weren't that all nice. It's sad to say but Linkin' Park was number one on that list. Then when I started dancing, they eventually allowed me to dance to the hip hop songs.

Today, I thought of some stuff that music has done for me throughout those years of listening to it..

1) Because of music, I am a pianist.

I played classical music when I started. But eventually, I stopped playing when I reached grade 3 and deviated to self-learning of both classical and contemporary. I sometimes regret it that I didn't get to study piano very hard. Because if I do, I would probably be an awesome pianist by now. Ho ho, I wish I was a Fontamillas! But I could still say that I am still learning. I have just started playing the keyboards this year and even though I am more described as "amateur" rather than "awesome," I am happy that my learning is continuous and I'm playing music for the ultimate Reason, not just to please my parents, others, or myself.

2) A lot of songs helped me get through each day of my life.

Obviously, I wouldn't be able to remember all the songs that have changed me. But I wouldn't definitely forget some. Like "I Think God Can Explain" by Splender which has brought me to a sudden realization that God was there in front of me all along, trying to explain the monstrosities of my situation at that time. Another is "Learning To Breathe" by Switchfoot which wholly expressed my struggle between God and the world; that I don't want to live for others or even for myself anymore; I want to live for Him. "Boston" by Austana is one song that I could relate to wholeheartedly for I realized instantly that people aren't the ones whom I should please. Songs speak to me in the strangest ways and I'm so glad that my response to them molded me into a better person each day.

3) I come to know about and meet my favorite band in the whole wide world:

This may sound really repetitive but Switchfoot has really been a huge influence in me. They have been my inspiration throughout those years. And I could say that I couldn't live without listening to one Switchfoot song each day for God speaks to me through their music in the most unexpected ways. Their songs reach me in all aspects of life. And it's really a great blessing that I have already met the awesome guys:  Jon, Tim, Drew, Jerome and Chad by making a simple video of me talking about my love for the band and their music: MEET & GREET SWITCHFOOT ON APRIL 30!

I LOVE YOU, SWITCHFOOT. I think this is the first time I have ever said this statement here.

4) Music enabled me to express myself more.

There are no other ways to express myself clearly other than through music. When I was little, I can listen to any kind of music. But when I started growing older, I tend to do lyrical criticism instead. I remembered writing a blog entry about what I look for in a song. I tweaked some a bit because this was 3 years ago already...

#1 LYRICS -- I don't just listen to any kind of music because it has a nice beat or the singer is great. I go beyond the song itself. I listen to the words first before I can say that the song is good. Or I look for the song's lyrics and read through it.
#2 MEANING -- Because I read through the lyrics, I listen to the words. Usually, if I can relate to the song really well, I will mark it as a favorite and give it 5 stars in my Itunes. I adore alternative songs that have deep interpretations in them. Or sometimes I make up my own interpretations. It's fun. I get to place myself in the singer/writer's feet, it's like I'm singing it too.
#3 EVERYTHING ELSE -- Meaning the beat, melody, rhythm, artist, instruments used, etc. The artist is no big deal for me. If the artist is not popular, I don't care. I appreciate them more when they're not making big in the music industry because at least I know there are small people out there who are as awesome as those famous ones. That makes me not a fan of the Top 100 Billboard Charts or My Mix Top 20 or whatever. 

This great love for music is my way for expressing my deepest emotions which I couldn't express in words. They serve as a vessel when I'm too flooded with words and I couldn't make up my mind.

5) Music makes everything better.

Whether I'm alone in my room or in a get-together with my closest friends, good music (Yeah, you read that right) makes the surroundings better. It enlightens the mood or sometimes it does the opposite. Either way is good for me because it helps release the appropriate moods in different situations: a person needs a shoulder to cry on, a celebration to start, thoughts to unravel, etc. We all need the help of music sometime in our lives. To me, it is an outlet each day because because I'm not much of a talker.

What I am trying to get at in this blog entry is that music is essential to me and you. I know it is not only me who finds the goodness in music because the world would not be a happy place to live in without music in our ears, without sounds to go by, without lyrics to inspire us as we go on in our daily tasks. Whether some people say that they like and love or hate music, I believe each one of us live through music. It may leave us unaware of it or we may notice it at times, but music is a huge part of our lives. It makes us strong and weary, sad and happy, loud and silent, smart and dumbfounded, and other polarities of some sort.

My simple message is this: Love music, whether it's the whistling of trees or a particular song of an awesome band, and let it change and inspire you!

Potter Forever. <3