The first faith test happened at the beginning of the year when I resigned from my job, began a new job, and moved cities for the second time in Japan. I wrote about it in this blog, "The Art of Changing Homes," which I wasn't able to share due to life getting in the way. I really thank God for taking care of the whole process and bringing me to my new destination safely.

Like many Filipinos abroad, the pandemic brought the toughest faith test to me. Not seeing my family and baby pets for two years was very difficult. I could imagine the hearts of others who haven't gone home for more than three years. Though we had a lot of audio/video calls throughout the year, nothing beats the physical presence of loved ones. However, God surrounded me with the right people during the pandemic who became my support system in Japan. Eventually, my worry-wart nature subsided and as a result, I was able to build strong bonds and friendships with the people He placed around me. The key for me is to support others in the best way that I could and the support goes back. 

"I will save you, and you will be a blessing." Zechariah 8:13 NIV

Anticipate Healing

This pandemic has also taken a lot of beautiful things from my family such as going home for my brother's wedding, building the dream house that we love, and receiving complete healing for the sick loved ones. But God's plans are higher and beyond what we could ever imagine (Isaiah 55:8-9). Instead of focusing on the negatives, I directed myself to acceptance and recreation and I achieved mental and spiritual healing. But of course, it still broke my heart when I heard sad news from people. The best thing that I could do is pray. Despite this, I am just grateful that many of our family and friends are alive and we're fighting the good fight of faith together. 

In my new and humble hometown, I also found healing for a health problem that I have been battling for a long time. Who could have thought I would find treatment here of all places? The clinic was just a five-minute walk from my apartment. Another surprising fact was the doctor could speak and understand English. So, I was able to go alone after my first visit. The effects of the medicine made me worry at first. But then I just trusted God and found out that it suits my body after all. As for the expenses, God provided everything. 

Anticipate His Help Through Others

I also learned how to receive help from people, which was a little tough because I grew up strong and independent with "Kakayanin ko 'to" attitude. Lol. Another fact was my love language of service was depleting due to summer vacation at that time. When I received help, oftentimes I felt that there was a need to give back at once. I really don't like the concept of "utang na loob" practiced in Filipino culture. Because I'm in Japan and living alone, it's natural that people would offer more help to me than me giving to them. So, I started changing my old mindset. I must continue to think that people help or give something because it is in their hearts to do it without receiving anything in return. Though some people treat others like this, right? Huhu. But then it's not healthy for me to think of people's intentions this way. I should also be kinder to myself and allow others to help me.

Anticipate Transformation

My character was also transformed as I dealt with social situations wherein I had to practice "pakikisama" to the nth level. It was easy for me to stick to my beliefs and ways, but it was a challenge to adjust to people from a different culture. Socializing has always been awkward and difficult, especially around people that I do not know well. I could be misunderstood or disregarded which was often caused by a lack of speaking up or direct communication. But when I knew that my heart and intentions were pure, I just let go of the need to be understood and allowed people to make their own choice of action. By God's will, I believe that things come and go; people come and leave. Everything works out in the end, always for the best.

Anticipate Promises Fulfilled

In 2019, my birthday wish was to achieve permanence in my life and I had faith in God that He would fulfill it. I am sure that placement is a different story due to the nature of my job and my ever-changing plans in life. Yet, exactly a year later, God gave permanence in a form of a person--Kensho, my kareshi (boyfriend), and soon, someone I will spend the rest of my life with. In God's perfect time, I met *whoishe?*, the guy in my weird dream in high school, whom I've not spoken about for a decade or so. God is so good and faithful! I also have an idea about where I will live at least for the next couple of years. It's now legit! Japan is home. 

The verse below was the Lord's promise when I was sitting alone in Odaiba, Tokyo, and praying for God to direct my heart to the right person. Kensho was not a Christian when I met him two years ago. But he is now building an intimate relationship with God. This verse is now rhema, God's Word in action.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6

During the last night of 2021, Kensho and I found ourselves doing the Marriage Preparation workbook. We began chapter 4: Goals at the perfect time. Writing faith goals and new year's resolutions was something that I've done since high school to singlehood. It marks as a sign that from now on,  I can look forward to doing the goal-setting with God and someone beside me to build dreams, fulfill goals, and pray with. It excites me even more that there is a great future, intricately designed for us, that we can embrace.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14 (March 12, 2021)

Passing the faith tests wouldn't be possible without God's guidance and leading. About ten years ago, a family friend prophesied, "You will see everything flash before your eyes. For this prophecy to come to pass, you need to believe and focus on God." 

Some of the things that I've been praying for then just happened last year. Truly enough, it takes anticipation, perseverance (Hebrews 10:36), and a leap of faith to believe in His promises, to keep seeking and asking, and to do His will. We need faith to look beyond what we can see and say that the Lord is good. 

Despite the saddening situation in the world, I still anticipate and decree that we can #SEE2022 with fresh eyes of faith and witness more blessings and miracles. May we taste His love pouring like wine in every area of our lives. 

Cheers to a fresh year and a great future ahead!

あけましておめでとうございます！[Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!]

Whether virtual or in person, thank you for being a memorable part of my year. <3

I have always believed that this year will be full of the unexpected. I just didn't expect that I would find the entire world in a whirlwind of events. Numerous catastrophes have happened before but in my lifetime they were not as big as this pandemic. Now, fear and anxiety are shared by not only one person, city, or country. The same unnerving experiences are shared by everyone.

When 2018 began, I felt that I would undergo changes and I had to be brave enough to face them. Fear was not completely eradicated when I underwent each change but I learned to persevere and sought God in the process. I believe hurdles are essential for the courage in us to grow.

The previous year refused to back down on me. I entered January with a panic attack. During the holiday break, I was revising my drafts for final submission. At the end of the month, the requirements were completed and my thesis was officially approved by the faculty. I was geared for graduation by God's grace.

Come February, the doors in Japan that I found in 2017 closed. I was determined that I will find another. I am grateful to my family and friends who prayed and supported me. While waiting, I held on to Philippians 1:6:

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6

I decreed that 2018 will be filled with the unexpected for God moves in suddenlies. When I started trusting Him with every area of my life, He opened new doors for me and closed the ones I need to walk away from.

In this blog, I want to share how God moved while I was #BravingOut2018. These new and old revelations unearthed in various events throughout the year made me brave.

Pray God-sized prayers. Dream God-sized dreams.

Finding a job that will fit my current situation was difficult. Most companies and schools would want an employee who could stay for a year or more. So I started as a freelancer. At first, it was difficult for I was independent of support from an employer. But God is amazing in connecting people. I taught two kids who had difficulty in reading in UP Diliman. I had no idea if it would work but it did. I started dreaming and proclaiming about a job where I will be passionate, use my skills and gifts, be mentored and gain various experience from, and rejoice in my labor.

April to May was my training ground season. While my student took a summer vacation, I started a job where I applied my MA in Reading Education in a clinical setting for a summer program. It wasn’t an easy feat but it was a stretch that I needed.

In July, I was waiting patiently on God for financial breakthroughs. My online business, Eye for Brands, encountered internal and external issues and I needed to pause for two months. God was faithful because a new supplier came in September. Despite the struggles, I was able to enjoy my labor. An example was enjoying a fitness activity again.

God always has the resource ready for the assignment. The greater the assignment, the greater the resource. The fear of asking God for BIG things due to timidity and spirit of lack must lessen. How could we be so afraid to ask when He could move beyond our dreams and imagination?

Obey God and fight for your destiny.

In May, I made a declaration that the enemy cannot steal my joy. I felt like my dreams were being taken away from me. I was scouting GaijinPot and other websites daily, revising my resumé for the nth time, and sending it through emails but receiving no response. It seemed like I was going nowhere. But I chose to praise God over my circumstances and be grateful. People told me to traverse a different path. They only led me to listen to God more. I have a God “who teaches me to profit, who leads me in the way I should go (Isaiah 48:17). I fought for my dream; the promotion in my Promised Land. Obedience was His word.

“Whoever obeys His command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him.” Ecclesiastes 8:5-6

God is our adamant. Because the Spirit of Christ dwells in us, therefore, we are immovable and unshakeable. We can win over anything.

Build your confidence in God.

Despite the feeling or rejection due to closed doors at the beginning of the year, the Lord made me believe in myself again. I graduated in June with my thesis nominated for Best Thesis Award, my father arriving at my graduation just in time, and a celebration with the whole family. My thesis was also accepted to a local and an international conference. I knew that the reason for these achievements were not to lift me up. It was to glorify God who offered redemption and vindication from the dreams that died in the past years. All things are possible with Him.

The moment that I started declaring and claiming my destiny, new doors opened. In the middle of May, I applied to an agency for a teaching job in Japan and attended an orientation. The tedious and lengthy process almost sucked my will out. In response, I tried to counteract every difficulty with prayer. In June, I passed the comprehensive job interview. In July, I prepared. In August, I passed the teaching demo. From September to early October, all the necessary requirements were completed. At the end of October, the company in Japan approved my application. During my job interview at the agency, the international director acted more like family. He reminded me that I have it all in me, I was bound to go to Japan, and my refined personality would fit there. He also stated that no matter what we’ve achieved in life, we are all the same. There is no room for arrogance, only humility. I couldn’t quite believe what I heard at first. Clearly, it was God speaking to me. Moreover, after three years of waiting, I was able to enroll in three consecutive Japanese language classes in UP Diliman. Thank God I passed two courses! This confirmed my journey to the land of the rising sun.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-37

I also learned that the highest central value in life is attitudinal—how we respond to what we experience in life matters. The key is to be proactive.

Come out of your comfort zone and experience His glory.

This year, my introverted personality was redefined. In August, God met me where I am when I presented my thesis in the International Conference on Teacher Education (ICTED). Instead of hiding in my shell, he pulled me out of my comfort zone to build connections with people in the educational field. I was so nervous but God took away my fears of not being liked, making a mistake, and not being good enough. My advocacy for children with autism propelled me to go. God doesn't want us to hide and stay in the "I'm OK" zone. He wants us to step out and witness MORE!

“I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfil His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]” Philippians 4:13 Amplified Version

Be kind and speak truth to thyself and others.

I experienced numerous faith tests in relationships in 2018. I let myself be affected by other's people's perceptions of me. It caused me pain. I lost my confidence and I messed up. God has been good and faithful as always. God gives and takes away. But He also redeems and restores relationships.

Through Him, I learned to be kind to myself. I accepted that I am a work in progress. I also declared that I was not born to be a people pleaser and a push-over. I also learned the value of speaking an encouraging Truth about God's will for that person rather than pointing out their mistakes; to give constructive feedback in a gentle and loving way and ample praise at the right moments without hesitation; and to be consistent with my thoughts and actions around others. Moreover, I fully accepted the fact that I couldn't change people and their ways. I could only leave that to God. I prayed to God to remove the spirit of timidity, vulnerability, and inconsistency in me. Accepting change and allowing ourselves to undergo transformation show tremendous courage.

Entrust everything to Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

2018 was about choices. There is a time to choose battles and there is a time to choose peace. There is a time to say yes and a time to say no. In August, new doors were opened. I applied as an assistant researcher in a university and as a reading specialist in a non-profit organization. My application went well but not well enough for them to give me the job. The only reason was I was leaving for Japan soon. I surrendered and chose to believe in God. My security was anchored upon Him. At the end of September, the non-profit organization suddenly offered the job to me again. After seeking God's will, I learned the timing was so right for I just finished the requirements for Japan, and I received the answer in Ephesians 5-9. The job was a gift from Him, sealed with gladness of heart, wisdom, knowledge, and joy. I shouldn't fear if the job is beyond my knowledge and abilities for this is the perfect place to be in this season where I could find favor. When I accepted the offer, He started to reveal more of Himself in the new land. My schedule worked out for I was still able to teach in one-on-one reading intervention sessions. There were times when I felt inadequate, tired, and stressed. But He surrounded me with a new family at work. And I just kept declaring His Word and entrusted everything to Him.

I chose to heed to God's leading. I chose to enjoy the pressing and stretching period. I chose to change my perspective in relationships. I chose to love. I chose to accept others for who they are. I chose joy. In numerous events, I chose to make the most out of every opportunity. I chose to glorify God above all.

Among all these learnings, I learned the true definition of being brave. It's not about being the strongest and most skilled to fight. It's not about winning every battle to earn and receive recognition. True courage is seen in the encouraging words we share with our loved ones; a kind gesture shown to a person unkind to us; and a decision to love and understand others despite the differences and the pain. It is also demonstrated by an individual stepping into unknown places where he/she is called without knowing what lies ahead. It is seen in a person surrendering his/her life and dying to self every single day.

Braving out requires great faith. And courage only comes from the Lord. As 2019 begins, I pray God will give us the ability to transcend every circumstance with courage and joy. May we rise above and go beyond the barriers that limit and bind us in order for us to experience the full and abundant life that He offers. May our faith carry us to greater heights with Him in 2019!


“The glory of the present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,” says the Lord Almighty. “And in this place, I will grant peace,” declares the Lord Almighty.” Haggai 2:7-9

Happy New Year!

Every year, God gave me a theme to live by. For 2017, He gave me Overflow and Peacekeeper. He promised an overflow of love, joy, and peace. It was a year that started with tears and ended with laughter and thanksgiving. He gifted me with 12 fruitful lessons, one for each month, which I summarized in four parts. I hope God speaks to you through these.

God First Above Everything

The beginning of the year was a ground-shaking moment. God impressed me He is first above everything. There were losses and gains---amazing Prayer and Fasting, financial provision, a new venue for learning (EdPsych!), death in the family, a new door of opportunity to study abroad, and loss of a laptop that contained all my thesis files. The latter was the most devastating of all because I expected to graduate in June. But if you read my blog about this, Losing My Life for God's Glory, the Lord turned everything into good (Genesis 50:20).

Through this rollercoaster of events, God reminded me of who He is and His position in my life. When things were becoming chaotic, I mended things my way or with the help of others first. But God wanted me not to rely on human power but on Him alone (Zechariah 4:6). I need to let go of my selfish desires and started focusing on God and His will. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. His ways are higher than our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9). No person or thing can fill the top position in our lives which is His from the beginning. He must increase, but we must decrease (John 3:29-30). I learned how to die to self (still learning). As a result, I felt more awe at Him than ever before.

Honor God's Process

I resonated with one quote of Pastor Steve Furtick, "If we honor God's process, He will honor His promise." The process is the most nerve-wracking time of all. I had so many reasons to quit my dreams. I felt confused and discouraged with the way things were heading. In the middle of the year, the results of my applications abroad almost led me to the finish line. But it suddenly turned into a different direction. A close call! Our 11-year-old Akita, Yuki died. I gained severe asthma after attending a friend's wedding. I got so frustrated with myself for not meeting deadlines and making mistakes. While recovering from sickness, I was writing my revisions and finishing everything in a rush. By God's grace, I survived it all. But He reminded me of two things regarding the season before the victory.

First, the process involves trials of many kinds (James 1:2). There is a room for failure. There is a room for hibernation. Nothing is wasted. It is part of the process of becoming who I am called to be. After weeks of contemplation, I saw delays as God's divine strategies. I realized, "Progress no matter how little is still progress. Maybe slow progress is what I need to enjoy life. I am thankful for what I've done everyday." God was working while I was eating three or more meals a day, finishing an MA, living in my parent's house, having enough time to build relationships with people, receiving financial provision, sleeping in a comfy bed, and being surrounded by pet animals (yes, that's heaven). There were so many little things to find joy in! My perspective changed. I marched forward. Even though the present and the future were blurry, God wasn't. I pressed on and clung to Him more. He allowed me to reach certain sublevels as preparation for the higher levels He set for me. To win this game of life, don't quit. Pass the testsss! He is doing a good work and He is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

Second, the process is determined by God. No matter how great we are in planning, His plans prevail (Proverbs 16:9). It's like having a travel itinerary with every plan scraped off. But the outcome is sweet! Since June, I felt God's presence as I prepared for my final defense. It was a lengthy and tiring process, not to mention it was rescheduled three times. When I defended my research study and passed it last September 11, God and I bombed two towers of the enemy that day, The Tower of Fear and the Tower of Stagnation. I was in perfect peace. I felt the battle has been won even before my panel said, "Passed!" That was all God moving for me. It was the right time. It couldn't be too early or too late. Just like what Pastor Erwin said in a preaching at church, "God never forgets. He is never late." God used the sufferings to stretch my character (patience to the nth level!!!). He tested my faith: "(Karen) FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1." He crafted every detail of His plan so well, considering the innermost desires of our hearts.

Shifting Focus to the Right Door

God allowed different doors to open this year. However, he had to close some of them so I could shift my focus. Instead of standing by closed doors, I followed Him into the right door. He assured me that the rest will follow as long as I adhere to his leading. I prioritized my thesis. While working on it, He reminded me I need people. Being an independent person and a multi-tasker, I am used to doing things on my own and juggling things at the same time as long as I could bear them. He provided me strength. But He also emphasized that I am not meant to do this alone. That struck me so hard. I humbled myself and sought help. He strategically placed people to help me at the right time. It also turned into an opportunity to advocate and raise awareness for Children with Autism.

When God placed people in, He took out some. During this season, I focused more on loving myself and valuing people present in my life. I spent my time building those relationships and letting go of people and things I could not change. I also learned to be less sacrificial with my time (my love language) and to say "no" to people. It was a maturing stage for me. I threw away the "push-over Kaye" and stood up for myself and for what I believe in even though people disagreed. I listened to God alone. Aside from God uplifting me, He also humbled me down. I refocused on what matters---asking for forgiveness for my mistakes, forgiving others for hurting me, and loving despite the pain. As a disciple, He warned me about the difficult people I meet. When I attended a Biblical Counseling Training in Tokyo Baptist Church, He spoke clearly, "You will not change people. I am the only one who does that. It's not about you. It's about me. Surrender the people you counsel to me. That burden is not yours to take." That lifted the heavy load off and freed me.

God also had me undergo a self-check every now and then to refocus my goals. He reminded me this: Strive to be your most beautiful self with honed character rather than fame, merits, riches, and titles. Empty yourself and keep learning. There is nothing wrong with gaining these. But these temporary things must not consciously and unconsciously distract us from Him.

Reiterating John Ortberg's quote in "All the Places to Go," every time God closes a door, he's up to something. Thank God for closed doors!

Strong and Courageous But Brave Enough to Surrender

My decrees about graduating in June and studying and working abroad crumbled down in July. I could have given it all up. But His peace caused me to become the opposite: strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9). Instead of questioning Him, I rested in His Word: "In the day of trouble, He will keep me safe in His dwelling, He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock." (Psalm 27:5) I decreed His life promise to me in Isaiah 54 again. I surrendered to Him, "Lord, I've done my part. Now, take control from here." His plans started to make sense since then.

A business opportunity and a new passion flourished. Hello, Eye for Brands! Hello, Weaving!

An opportunity to travel in Japan and live like a local for 30 days came as a surprise (after a long travel hiatus). Okiniiri!!!

My research journey has reached its peak. Kaunting-kaunti na lang!!! Hello, Graduation!!!

New job opportunities abroad came (still praying for the outcome).

It was the perfect illustration of this verse:

Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. - Romans 8:18

2017 was indeed a year of acceleration. This year, my life underwent a reshuffle for God's glory. God removed things to give space to greater ones. I met new people of different nationalities. I braved out of my comfort zone. I learned and relearned things. Some dreams were wrecked and some took slower than I expected while some happened in a flash. But I have never felt safer. There were many reasons to mourn but there were more reasons to get up and dance with God through it all.


The Lord's love, joy, and peace overflowed despite the sufferings in 2017. I hope and pray that you also experienced an overflow in your life. It occurred to me when I put God first above everything, honored the process before His promises, shifted my focus and heeded to His direction, and stood strong and courageous yet brave enough to surrender to His will. His presence is sufficient for us to live a full and an abundant life.

In 2018, let's keep declaring Him as our Peacekeeper. Let's continue claiming His faithfulness in our lives. I will start with one of these verses that my best friend and I have decreed throughout last year. It was so timely because the theme of our church's Prayer and Fasting 2018 is "Ephesians for Christ." 

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us..." -Ephesians 3:20
It's time to face the unexpected in 2018! Cheers to a year of crossing over (attraversiamo) and braving out!

Always Love,
K