Seeing 2022 with fresh eyes of faith was possible because of God. He opened my eyes to witness more of His glorious works not only in my life but in my family and friends' lives. I am grateful for seeing victory despite the difficult circumstances, basking in God's undying love, receiving His amazing grace, experiencing stability and growth, and enjoying the gift of salvation, joy, miracles, and new beginnings. I was able to see this verse come to life:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Seeing Victory

The difficulty in acquiring my Japanese Driver's License still persisted until the end of February last year. I wanted the suffering to end so badly so I could concentrate on wedding planning. I was on the brink of giving up. But the encouragement and support that I got from my family, friends, and of course, my ex-fiancé and driving teacher motivated me to enroll in another driving lesson at Kyoto Driver's Licensing Center and take another test. When I let go, ignoring the costs and focusing on the prize, I passed!

The victory came from God. He brought me to this challenging situation to show me that it is neither about my ability to drive nor my driving test skills. This was all about testing my faith and seeing His power to make everything happen at the right time, place, and condition. 

Seeing God's Love

Engaged and set to plan my wedding in January, I was carrying a mixture of emotions. Before the end of winter break, we were able to form a wedding committee that consisted of me and my three teacher friends from different prefectures in Japan-- Kyoto, Hyogo, and Tokyo. As one of our first investments as an engaged couple, we were able to buy a good camera that has live-streaming features. Using this, we did a mini winter shoot for our DIY electronic wedding invitation and Facebook group page. Wedding services were so expensive so we planned to do it all without hiring a wedding planner and supplier. We also wanted to save the rest of our money for our wedding in the Philippines.

Come February, my then-fiancé and I finished our marriage registration at the city hall. We had to prepare a lot of papers in Japanese but we received help from a kind Japanese friend and finished everything at the right time. We also had our Marriage Preparation sessions with our church pastor and his wife and my Connect Group leader from Lifehouse Church Kyoto. We learned a lot about each other and God's purpose for our marriage. It was also during this time that we encountered another fire coming from an old house beside my apartment during the wee hours of the morning. It was bigger than the fire last December. My veranda was right in front of the window of the house. There was only one little parking space in the middle. We prayed to God for protection and thank God it didn't happen again. 

Even though we wanted our first wedding in Japan with our families, the pandemic still became worse and the borders remained closed. We hired a photographer, who was an acquaintance of our friend, and who takes photos with the simple, natural, dreamy vibe that we were aiming for. We had seven guests--the church pastor, three churchmates whom we hired and helped us, and three teacher friends who volunteered to do DIY with us. I was filled with a lot of anxiety about how everything would turn out. I also didn't expect that I would have bridal showers online and offline near the wedding day. But I am so grateful for the love, wisdom, and support from my closest friends from the Philippines and Japan. The night before the wedding, God reminded me to be joyful in spite of the circumstances.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habbakuk 3:17-18

We wedded at our favorite restaurant, Armonia in Fukuchiyama. This was where we had our first date on March 19th, 2020. Two years later, who would have thought we would get married in the same place? It was the perfect venue for our intimate wedding. It felt like dining at home with family and friends in the presence of God. We encountered technical difficulties during our live-streaming via Zoom because it snowed and rained a little, but it all turned out more beautiful than we imagined it to be. 

Since the wedding was during my spring break, we had a short but enjoyable honeymoon in Osaka. Thank God my husband took two days off from work! We had so much fun in USJ. We were able to release all the stress we got from wedding planning. It was our first time at Harry Potter and it turned out to be our favorite. Afterward, we stayed in a hotel in Namba, Osaka, and ate a hearty sushi dinner. Then the next day, we drove to Philippine Consulate General Osaka to apply for the Report of Marriage and walked outside the Osaka Castle grounds enjoying our first hanami as husband and wife.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6 NIV

Love is amazing. For us, this is illustrated in Romans 15:5-6. It was the verse that God shared with me when I was praying for my life partner in Odaiba, Tokyo in October 2013. I really had no idea about the future that God already planned for me then in Japan. This is God's love.

Seeing Grace

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful." ~1 Thessalonians 5:24

I would say that the four-month planning for our August wedding in the Philippines and the wedding itself were God's miracles. It was hard to search for the best suppliers online without meeting them in person. But I was able to benefit from my family and friends' experiences and the internet gave away a lot of information too. Discovering an e-invite website called withjoy.com (see ours here Kaye and Kensho) saved us from the costs of printed invitations and delivery. Zoom was also very useful for communication. Though the flight tickets skyrocketed because of the high demand and the low number of planes flying from Japan, we were able to afford it with God's provision.

The pandemic made a lot of things challenging but there were answered prayers too. While searching for venues with the help of my mother, I suddenly came across an article that outline the intimate venues in Quezon City. Lemuria Fine Dining Restaurant fit exactly what we wanted---simple, homey yet classy with good food and location. It fits us as a couple so well. God also provided for all the suppliers. Though the decision-making was tough due to financial reasons, He taught us to trust Him.

We wanted the officiating pastor to be my father's disciple during their Tokyo University days who became one of the head pastors of Tokyo Baptist Church. It so happened that he and his wife were also flying to the Philippines to visit their family in August. They happily agreed to attend our wedding and so, we were able to set the wedding day after they arrived in Manila. God truly plans everything and sometimes it takes years to see the fruits. 

We were grateful that my husband's mother, sister, and brother were able to go to the Philippines and meet my family for the first time. Unfortunately, his father and second cousin, who also happened to be his best man, couldn't come. As for my family's side, my father got sick a few days before the wedding and my cousin from Hungary, who was my best woman, couldn't come too. Some of our families and friends couldn't make it for health and work-related reasons as well. Because of a world crisis, we understood that this would happen and we were just so grateful that everyone was safe and covid-free.

I couldn't deny that walking down the aisle without my father hurt me the most. It was one of the top reasons why we had a second wedding in the Philippines. But I am truly grateful that his condition was not severe and we were able to see him well before and after the wedding. He even prayed for me and Kensho on the day of our flight back to Japan. It was a wonderful blessing. It brought me back to the emotions the day I left for Japan on my own for the first time but multiplied a hundred. 

Despite the setbacks, doing a second wedding in August allowed our families and friends to meet for the first time. It was such a beautiful reunion. We were able to see our loved ones after three years or more. The greater purpose was actually beyond being married to my life partner or whom I named *whoishe?* since high school. The most important thing is that God was glorified and the Gospel was shared with everyone. Kensho's family was able to meet Filipino Christians and their hearts were touched. Thank God for His amazing grace!

Seeing Stability and Growth

For the first time ever since I came to Japan, I did not move to a new city. It was a feat to have lived in the same apartment for almost two years. I really thank God because planning two weddings in a year, having a day job, saving for moving expenses, and moving to a new home were already making us busy and crazy. But He truly set everything in order.

I also received a new role as an International Girls Connect Group leader at church a few months before. Being an introverted person, I was filled with hesitation at first. I asked God, "Who am I to lead girls from different nations?" But I just said yes to my leader and transitioned from a substitute and co-leader to leading the group by myself. Through this, I also remembered my ultimate purpose of migrating to Japan. Hindi lang dahil Japan Japan sagot sa kahirapan. LOL. It is not only to continue sharing lives and learning from Japanese people. God wants me to grow by leading foreigners like me closer to Him. I should not run away or shy away from my purpose. I must continue to do the work that He has called me to do.

"For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints as you still do." Hebrews 6:10-11

Seeing Salvation 

Two weeks before the wedding in March, my husband got baptized. He wanted to do it sooner but he felt it wasn't the right time due to the worsening covid-19 situation. I was surprised one day when he delivered the news after scheduling with the church pastor and his Bible study group leader. We traveled to Kyoto city and it all happened in a small ofuro or bathtub inside a church member's apartment. It was live-streamed to other members of the church. We were all filled with joy. It was surreal.

In September, my husband's brother and girlfriend attended church in Shibuya, Tokyo. Then in November, my husband's mother attended church with us. The following week, she attended an online small group and was baptized. Everything happened so fast. God's plan is amazing! We are now witnessing the seeds that God has planted in their hearts since their visit to the Philippines. "The Blessing" was perfect for our worship song at our wedding. We chose it to claim God's favor over our families.

"May His favor be upon you | And a thousand generations | And your family and your children | and their children and their children." The Blessing, Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes, & Elevation Worship

Seeing Joy

Traveling around Japan with my husband in May and June became an extension of our honeymoon. We weren't able to go abroad to celebrate due to health and travel restrictions. We were both asthmatic which made us at-risk. But we were blessed to be able to travel around Japan in his vintage cars and made good memories in places where we have never been together.

Moreover, seeing my family after two and a half years was very precious to us. Honestly, going home made us so busy and tired. But decluttering my room and cleaning our UP home was very therapeutic. We said goodbye to old things and kept those that matter. There were still a lot of things left to do before we move out of our UP home. My parents and brothers were also busy with work plus quarantine measures. Because of a new coronavirus outbreak, we couldn't go on a trip somewhere outside Manila. It was better to be safe than sorry. 

Seeing New Beginnings

In October, my husband and I were already on the brink of finding an apartment that fits. While I was complaining to him about my frustration, he opened his phone and suddenly found a new advertisement for a pet-friendly 1LDK apartment. It was located in Ayabe, my first home in Japan, and where we first met. It was the place God was referring to me in Genesis 28:15-16. 

We called the real estate agent the following day and looked at the videos and pictures more. Even though it wasn't available for viewing yet due to a tenant living in it, we knew it was the one. We found ourselves signing the papers at the second meeting. We were able to see the inside of the apartment two weeks before our moving-in date in December. It was almost three months of waiting. Every day, our excitement grew and we would tell each other, "I want to move, I want to move." The apartment turned out better than our imagination. 

Reserving a home without seeing it in person might seem ridiculous, but we prayed for it and claimed that God has chosen and prepared this place for us to start our life together. Though I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, for us it was a great example of exercising our eyes of faith.

Seeing Miracles

At the end of December and the beginning of January, I was able to meet my husband's grandparents. This was long overdue because I was afraid that I would not be accepted. My husband's grandmother was just fine. She was very kind and generous, giving us food and household stuff every now and then. But my husband's grandfather was a very strict man and everybody knew that it wasn't easy to get along with him. 

When my husband's grandfather met me, the exact opposite happened. He initially asked if I was his grandson's husband and welcomed me to his home with a big smile. He willingly showed his interest in history by bringing out some historical books, one of which was a book on Japanese colonial times in Asia. When he handed me the book, he apologized for Japan conquering the Philippines in the past even though it wasn't his fault at all. But I could feel the sincerity and he really understood what happened then. He also took notes about my name, hometown, and university on his planner. What he saw or felt in me, I don't know yet, but I am grateful for that miraculous moment. 

Thirteen years ago, a family friend once told me, "Everything will flash before your eyes." I now understood what he meant. To be able to see through our eyes, we must be closer to God. We have to refocus when our vision gets blurry and be sensitive to God's leading, especially the redirections. With His guidance, we receive a valuable gift --- the ability to see beauty beyond what our natural eyes can see. I believe the same for everyone. If we cast our eyes on Jesus (Psalm 123:2), we can possess a greater sense of sight.

2023 started a little tough for me. But with a brand new perspective, I believe that this season is bringing tremendous growth that would help me reach God's greater plans. 

On December 31st, I spent my quiet time hearing from God and just listening to Him. I would like to stand by this verse as we undergo growth this year.

"Jesus said, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that does not produce fruit. He also trims every branch that produces fruit to prepare it to produce even more. You have already been prepared to produce more fruit by the teaching that I have given you. Stay joined to me and I will stay joined to you. No branch can produce fruit alone..." John 15:1-4 ERV

Three months have already passed but I am still decreeing a fruitful year ahead for all of us! 

Let's #Grow2023 to the full!

  

October 17-23, 2022

Lately, life has been steady but I couldn't help but feel confused and impatient about many things. My idea of making these negative vibes go away is to write. I read the book "The Happines Project" by Gretchen Rubin in 2009 and it changed my life back then. Currently, she has been doing a list of things that make her happy in her newsletter. I have been enjoying reading about hers so I want to try and do the same. 

Hopefully, I can keep up with my own weekly list of 5 Things That Give Joy. I want to be more intentional about ALL THE GOOD THINGS happening to me. Whether they are big or small, they deserve to be acknowledged and valued. They are God's blessings that can encourage me when things get off track. 

1. 7:27 train

My daily commute every day starts at 7:20 when I leave the apartment and walk to the train station for three minutes (excluding stoplights). Though the fact that I couldn't leave later than that does not make me happy, I am grateful for the chance to discipline myself and stick to a routine. Because I take a bath at night, it's eliminated from my Morning To-Do List. I could focus on washing my face, getting dressed, putting on a little make-up, organizing my room, and preparing the breakfast that I could bring to the station and eat before I go to work. In 50 minutes, I could do some of these simultaneously. 

I've been multi-tasking for as long as I could remember. But I honestly feel that waking up an hour earlier is better. If I wake up at the same time as my husband, I could be more productive and relaxed. I could even do a short yoga routine plus quiet time/meditation to start the day right. Maybe I could even add that to one of the 5 things that make me happy next week!

2. Easy online shopping

In Japan, you could easily shop online and the delivery is superb. It's so efficient that the courier companies deliver in a day or two and you can also specify the date and time that you prefer. Requesting for redelivery is very easy as well. You can easily call the assigned delivery person and state your time of availability. This is the fastest and most convenient but there are call charges. For free, you could just change your delivery requests through the online website as well. 

My recent purchase is a wooden iron stand and a good steam iron that I bought on sale. Buying things for the home really spark joy. I try to invest more in quality items even though they are pricier. I prefer good quality products that can last for many years rather than inexpensive products that could be replaced in a year or two.

3. Indoor plant companions

The touch of nature inside the hom relaxes me. When my mother came to Ayabe, Kyoto in May 2019, she helped me choose a few plants to decorate my apartment. However, they all died during winter. 

When I moved to Nishinomiya, Hyogo the following year, my first indoor plant that is still alive today is a Monstera from a nearby supermarket. I named it Monti. I'd accidentally left it out on the balcony during a hot day two summers ago but it survived. When I went to IKEA Tsuruhama, I also carried home a medium-sized ZZ plant that is still thriving in the kitchen now.  

This year, I've added a Sansevieria Cylindrica (snake plant) which is still happily surviving too. I hope to expand this family after we move to a bigger home soon. Yay!

4. Manageable schedule

My everyday workday in the Philippines had been toxic. A teaching job doesn't end at 5 p.m. It ends at 12 a.m. and sometimes materials preparation ends at 3 a.m. or no sleep at all. Because I could not be paid for my overtime work, I had to leave school on time. Thus, I worked at home. There was mostly no time for family and unwinding during weekdays. 

Here in Japan, I rarely bring work home. My first year of teaching was an exception because I was adjusting to everything. I was also Teacher 1 in most of my schools so I prepared all the lessons and materials and the Japanese Teachers of English only provide support to me and the students. The more manageable lessons started during my second and third years of teaching when the rule was implemented and more Japanese teachers were trained to lead the English lessons with or without an Assistant Language Teacher. My Japanese Teachers of English are really good teachers but they still couldn't speak English straight in class. My school days are mostly full from first period to sixth period. But lesson planning and materials preparation don't happen everyday because my JTEs have usually prepared it before I come to school. We mostly do team teaching, checking of worksheets, and lesson planning together. To be honest, I think this is not the best set-up that I like for my teaching career  because I also need growth, command in the classroom, and a sense of fulfillment. But for now, I'm just being the best Teacher 2 that I could be. 

My job schedule also allows me to arrive home about one or two hours before my husband, Kensho. I could prepare dinner and organize the home before he arrives. He wants us to eat dinner together every night so instead of working overtime, he finishes work at 5:00 p.m., organizes everything, walks his hunter dog, and drives home. 

5. Married life

Kensho and I have been married for six happy months. I couldn't believe that it has been that long! We still haven't gone through all the photos and videos of our two weddings. But we're working on it and posting soon. Lol! All thanks to God for making all these happen. 

I am really grateful that I have a husband who cares enough to come home early, relax, and spend quality time with me after work despite his hectic schedule. We also grew up differently, but we are able to work it out every day. Language is still challenging though lately, we are getting used to communicating using our own language mix. Ganbarimasu!

Living with another person again after moving to Japan has taken the loneliness away. But my "me time" has been compromised and only weekends make up for it. It is also challenging when we are both in a not-so-good state. What I am really thankful for is the love and patience that we have for each other and God guiding our hearts, minds, and actions. Kensho has been the perfect person to stand my "adult tantrums" or what our family calls "berat mode." Lol. Being quick to forgive and understand each other is something that has really saved us and we're practicing this by God's grace. 

Thank God for these 5 things! I still couldn't believe how my life turned out unexpectedly here in Japan. I remember praying in the past, traveling to places, and dreaming about the things that I have now. 

Of course, we still have a lot of unanswered prayers. But God has been really good and faithful to us and our loved ones. He has been answering prayer after prayer and telling us to wait a little more for His answers. 

Lately, He has been teaching me again to set aside quality time with Him in prayer, journalling, and worship. I feel like I've been losing my childlikeness when life keeps me busy. It is really therapeutic to slow down, reflect, and be thankful for all things big and little. 

Though there is uncertainty in this season, I am sure of one thing: Joy and peace come from God alone.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I am excited to reflect on the next 5 things next week and literally SEE God's blessings.

With joy,

K

I decreed that 2019 is a year of transcendence--living out in faith, seeing beyond, and traversing the world's borders. I aimed to rise above the limitations and restrictions in life and experience the unimaginable gifts God has in store. It involved many acts of surrender and trust in Him, believing that the good work He has started in me and my loved ones will be completed because He is faithful (Philippians 1:6). In the process, I have learned to develop a grateful and patient heart. 

Last last Sunday's preaching in my home church was all about gratefulness. It was also the same thing that God was teaching me throughout the year. I started to reflect about the past year/s on my birthday last October. A friend suggested that I create a gratitude list. As my way of saying goodbye to 2019, I wanted to share my "Thank You"s to God and hopefully, whoever's reading will also think of their own and be in a spirit of thanksgiving. 

"Thank you for giving me wings."

At an altar call during last year's prayer and fasting, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the stage to stand in faith that I am called to go to the nations. For the very first time in my life, I was sure. On March, I embarked on a journey towards Japan, the country that I have loved dearly since I was born. I experienced a lot of firsts--first time to be separated from my family for a long time, first time to set foot on Kyoto, first time to live independently, including renting an apartment, paying for my bills and expenses, doing all the cleaning, groceries, cooking, and laundry all by myself. I even invested on cultivating my green thumb. Living independently was extremely challenging. But I learned a lot about adulting that made me become a better version of myself. In God, I found wisdom and strength amidst the hardships and homesickness. It was like living out Isaiah 40:31:

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." (NLT)

"Thank you for the gift of teaching and sending me to Japan."

God is now reminding me of the promises and purposes for me in Japan. Many times I wonder how this journey will turn out. Sometimes I wonder about my home country. Is it okay to leave the Philippines? Am I using what I have learned in special education, reading education, and MA extensively? Then I always find myself going back to Abram's story when he said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that later became his home:

"Now the Lord had said to Abram (Kaye)
'Get out of your country,
From your family
And from your father's house,
To a land that I will show you,
I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
And you shall be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.'"
Genesis 12:1-3

I may just be a foreigner and stranger in Japan (Genesis 17:8) but He can use me wherever He has placed me. I am teaching in a new environment where I could learn, relearn, and unlearn things. Nothing is wasted because all will make sense in the end. I love being a Filipino in Japan and I love the Philippines. I believe God has a greater purpose why He brought me out of it and He sees my obedience to Him.

I believe that the place of calling is not limited to where a person was born or raised. In fact, God brings us to new places where He transforms our lives and uses us to manifest His glory. When He has given us a land to possess, whether in a form of a new workplace, business, or home, take the great leap of faith and claim it. This is a rare opportunity in a timely season to grow and be used by God.

"Thank you for making the world small."

I appreciate technology more when I moved abroad. My family, friends, and I communicated through different social networking sites and apps. Nothing beats talking in person. But the timely audio and video calls helped ease the loneliness and fear-of-missing-out (FOMO). 

I am really thankful for the short distance between Japan and the Philippines. I didn't expect that I would be able to go home twice this year. God surprised me with cheap flights last summer. Take note: July to August is a perfect time to search for low fares to and from Japan. It's also another way to escape the scorching summer heat. Another blessing is when my parents were also able to visit me. Though they visited separately, we were able to spend quality time. They were able to see my apartment and the community I lived in, visited some tourist spots, and met my new friends. All God-ordained.

"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him," 1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)

"Thank you for the divine appointments."

The divine appointments throughout the year were all laid out beautifully. I met people from different parts of the world, became involved in organisations within the community, and developed good relationships with my co-teachers and students. 

During my eight months here in Japan, one of the beautiful things that God has done is that He has given me a new spiritual family in Kyoto. I first discovered a Protestant church in Ayabe. Though the preachings were entirely in Japanese, the church members are really kind and generous. Early November, I was able to attend a church in Kyoto, one that I found online before I came to Japan. The vision and mission of the church is quite similar to my home church in Manila. The people are also very friendly. I could freely speak about my faith in God with them. The only problem is the location which was 1.5-2 hours away from Ayabe. Sharing breakthroughs with people face to face is really essential to my spiritual growth. So I aim to visit the church once or twice a month. I entrust God the expensive and long train rides. I also wish to improve my Japanese so I could speak with more Japanese people.

These churches were answered prayers. I am grateful that God not only connected me to one church but two. I am so excited to build friendships with the people, grow, and serve Him through the church.

And last but not the least...

"Thank you for your presence always."

I know that I am not alone because I have God. I am not lonely because I can easily talk to Him wherever I go. I see His steadfast love and faithfulness in all things. 

"And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13, NKJV

Transcending 2019 doesn't happen in a year. In fact, my transcendent phase in Japan has only just begun. I look forward to more growth and change. I also claim that this year is a time to reap the seeds we have sown in the past decade--deeper intimacy with God, love shared in the family, friendships built through the years, passions cultivated, health restored, career and mission paths chosen, personalities and hearts shaped. At the end of every year, we strive for things that are eternal rather than temporary.

To be honest, I am entering this new year without any clear steps. I don't know what will happen. I am not sure of anything. But I trust God. I have faith in Him. Though He will lead me to the unknown, He will lay out an #Unimaginable2020 before my eyes.

I decree that an abundant harvest is waiting for us. Let's reap with faith and joy!

Happy New Year!

Transcending and Grateful,

K



"Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust Him along the way you'll find He pulled it off perfectly." Psalm 37:5 (The Passion Translation)

During the saddest times, I usually write and put my feelings into prose. But sometimes, I cannot find the words. So I read the Bible and let God lead me to the perfect prose: His Word.

I am currently in a season of a door left open for years and now finally closing. God spoke to me through the verses below.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I heard and understood that He is sovereign over me. He is sovereign over my emotions. Because of this, I am now handling my emotions as if they are not highly important. The most important thing is that I am following His ways and I am at the center of His will. My emotions are merely tiny parts of the whole picture.

"Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about." Acts 1:4


God says wait for the gift He promised. He wants me to stay and stand my ground. Our current series in church talked about waiting being connected to faith. Each of us should develop strong faith. Waiting on Him seems like a daunting task especially if great things are coming. But having a highly established faith in Him makes waiting easy.

God promises in Matthew 21:21 to those who wait: "I tell you the truth if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to the mountain, 'Go throw yourself unto the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Like the apostles in Acts chapter 1, I was worried and even terrified. I asked too, "Will you restore me?" and "When will I be okay?" Then He answered in Acts 1:7-8.

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set in his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

I thought about the prophecy spoken to me that concern not only a certain part of my life but also my mission as a whole. God called me a witness and He planned to send me to places. What happened to the hope I had when I first heard it? Was it gone or set aside because of one earthly desire?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart, 
test me and know my anxious thoughts, 
See if there is any offensive way in me, 
and lead me to the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 23-24

God knows my heart. He wants to lead me to the eternal and not to the temporary. But like King Solomon, if I am facing something big, then I need a big God. I need Him more than ever.

I asked, "Give me now wisdom and knowledge.." 2 Chronicles 1:10

Then He promised, "Wisdom and knowledge is granted unto thee." 2 Chronicles 1:12

The same words He said to the sick woman in Mark 5:34, He said to me, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Because of God's grace and wisdom, this season is easy to bear. Setting aside how I feel, I am excited for the eternal glory that will far outweigh everything (2 Corinthians 4:17). Honestly, I am looking forward to what God will do next. Because He closed a door, I believe I am one step closer to the right door. Truly, there are so many great things to be excited about. The long-awaited opening of that door (or those doors!) are about to come.

As I wait in faith, I will keep on asking Him one thing. That is to receive Greater Faith.

I claim this verse as His reply:

"..since God had planned something better for me (us) so that only together with me (us) would they be made perfect." Hebrews 11:40