During the saddest times, I usually write and put my feelings into prose. But sometimes, I cannot find the words. So I read the Bible and let God lead me to the perfect prose: His Word.

I am currently in a season of a door left open for years and now finally closing. God spoke to me through the verses below.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I heard and understood that He is sovereign over me. He is sovereign over my emotions. Because of this, I am now handling my emotions as if they are not highly important. The most important thing is that I am following His ways and I am at the center of His will. My emotions are merely tiny parts of the whole picture.

"Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about." Acts 1:4


God says wait for the gift He promised. He wants me to stay and stand my ground. Our current series in church talked about waiting being connected to faith. Each of us should develop strong faith. Waiting on Him seems like a daunting task especially if great things are coming. But having a highly established faith in Him makes waiting easy.

God promises in Matthew 21:21 to those who wait: "I tell you the truth if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to the mountain, 'Go throw yourself unto the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Like the apostles in Acts chapter 1, I was worried and even terrified. I asked too, "Will you restore me?" and "When will I be okay?" Then He answered in Acts 1:7-8.

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set in his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

I thought about the prophecy spoken to me that concern not only a certain part of my life but also my mission as a whole. God called me a witness and He planned to send me to places. What happened to the hope I had when I first heard it? Was it gone or set aside because of one earthly desire?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart, 
test me and know my anxious thoughts, 
See if there is any offensive way in me, 
and lead me to the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 23-24

God knows my heart. He wants to lead me to the eternal and not to the temporary. But like King Solomon, if I am facing something big, then I need a big God. I need Him more than ever.

I asked, "Give me now wisdom and knowledge.." 2 Chronicles 1:10

Then He promised, "Wisdom and knowledge is granted unto thee." 2 Chronicles 1:12

The same words He said to the sick woman in Mark 5:34, He said to me, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Because of God's grace and wisdom, this season is easy to bear. Setting aside how I feel, I am excited for the eternal glory that will far outweigh everything (2 Corinthians 4:17). Honestly, I am looking forward to what God will do next. Because He closed a door, I believe I am one step closer to the right door. Truly, there are so many great things to be excited about. The long-awaited opening of that door (or those doors!) are about to come.

As I wait in faith, I will keep on asking Him one thing. That is to receive Greater Faith.

I claim this verse as His reply:

"..since God had planned something better for me (us) so that only together with me (us) would they be made perfect." Hebrews 11:40