Every year, God gave me a theme to live by. For 2017, He gave me Overflow and Peacekeeper. He promised an overflow of love, joy, and peace. It was a year that started with tears and ended with laughter and thanksgiving. He gifted me with 12 fruitful lessons, one for each month, which I summarized in four parts. I hope God speaks to you through these.

God First Above Everything

The beginning of the year was a ground-shaking moment. God impressed me He is first above everything. There were losses and gains---amazing Prayer and Fasting, financial provision, a new venue for learning (EdPsych!), death in the family, a new door of opportunity to study abroad, and loss of a laptop that contained all my thesis files. The latter was the most devastating of all because I expected to graduate in June. But if you read my blog about this, Losing My Life for God's Glory, the Lord turned everything into good (Genesis 50:20).

Through this rollercoaster of events, God reminded me of who He is and His position in my life. When things were becoming chaotic, I mended things my way or with the help of others first. But God wanted me not to rely on human power but on Him alone (Zechariah 4:6). I need to let go of my selfish desires and started focusing on God and His will. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. His ways are higher than our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9). No person or thing can fill the top position in our lives which is His from the beginning. He must increase, but we must decrease (John 3:29-30). I learned how to die to self (still learning). As a result, I felt more awe at Him than ever before.

Honor God's Process

I resonated with one quote of Pastor Steve Furtick, "If we honor God's process, He will honor His promise." The process is the most nerve-wracking time of all. I had so many reasons to quit my dreams. I felt confused and discouraged with the way things were heading. In the middle of the year, the results of my applications abroad almost led me to the finish line. But it suddenly turned into a different direction. A close call! Our 11-year-old Akita, Yuki died. I gained severe asthma after attending a friend's wedding. I got so frustrated with myself for not meeting deadlines and making mistakes. While recovering from sickness, I was writing my revisions and finishing everything in a rush. By God's grace, I survived it all. But He reminded me of two things regarding the season before the victory.

First, the process involves trials of many kinds (James 1:2). There is a room for failure. There is a room for hibernation. Nothing is wasted. It is part of the process of becoming who I am called to be. After weeks of contemplation, I saw delays as God's divine strategies. I realized, "Progress no matter how little is still progress. Maybe slow progress is what I need to enjoy life. I am thankful for what I've done everyday." God was working while I was eating three or more meals a day, finishing an MA, living in my parent's house, having enough time to build relationships with people, receiving financial provision, sleeping in a comfy bed, and being surrounded by pet animals (yes, that's heaven). There were so many little things to find joy in! My perspective changed. I marched forward. Even though the present and the future were blurry, God wasn't. I pressed on and clung to Him more. He allowed me to reach certain sublevels as preparation for the higher levels He set for me. To win this game of life, don't quit. Pass the testsss! He is doing a good work and He is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

Second, the process is determined by God. No matter how great we are in planning, His plans prevail (Proverbs 16:9). It's like having a travel itinerary with every plan scraped off. But the outcome is sweet! Since June, I felt God's presence as I prepared for my final defense. It was a lengthy and tiring process, not to mention it was rescheduled three times. When I defended my research study and passed it last September 11, God and I bombed two towers of the enemy that day, The Tower of Fear and the Tower of Stagnation. I was in perfect peace. I felt the battle has been won even before my panel said, "Passed!" That was all God moving for me. It was the right time. It couldn't be too early or too late. Just like what Pastor Erwin said in a preaching at church, "God never forgets. He is never late." God used the sufferings to stretch my character (patience to the nth level!!!). He tested my faith: "(Karen) FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1." He crafted every detail of His plan so well, considering the innermost desires of our hearts.

Shifting Focus to the Right Door

God allowed different doors to open this year. However, he had to close some of them so I could shift my focus. Instead of standing by closed doors, I followed Him into the right door. He assured me that the rest will follow as long as I adhere to his leading. I prioritized my thesis. While working on it, He reminded me I need people. Being an independent person and a multi-tasker, I am used to doing things on my own and juggling things at the same time as long as I could bear them. He provided me strength. But He also emphasized that I am not meant to do this alone. That struck me so hard. I humbled myself and sought help. He strategically placed people to help me at the right time. It also turned into an opportunity to advocate and raise awareness for Children with Autism.

When God placed people in, He took out some. During this season, I focused more on loving myself and valuing people present in my life. I spent my time building those relationships and letting go of people and things I could not change. I also learned to be less sacrificial with my time (my love language) and to say "no" to people. It was a maturing stage for me. I threw away the "push-over Kaye" and stood up for myself and for what I believe in even though people disagreed. I listened to God alone. Aside from God uplifting me, He also humbled me down. I refocused on what matters---asking for forgiveness for my mistakes, forgiving others for hurting me, and loving despite the pain. As a disciple, He warned me about the difficult people I meet. When I attended a Biblical Counseling Training in Tokyo Baptist Church, He spoke clearly, "You will not change people. I am the only one who does that. It's not about you. It's about me. Surrender the people you counsel to me. That burden is not yours to take." That lifted the heavy load off and freed me.

God also had me undergo a self-check every now and then to refocus my goals. He reminded me this: Strive to be your most beautiful self with honed character rather than fame, merits, riches, and titles. Empty yourself and keep learning. There is nothing wrong with gaining these. But these temporary things must not consciously and unconsciously distract us from Him.

Reiterating John Ortberg's quote in "All the Places to Go," every time God closes a door, he's up to something. Thank God for closed doors!

Strong and Courageous But Brave Enough to Surrender

My decrees about graduating in June and studying and working abroad crumbled down in July. I could have given it all up. But His peace caused me to become the opposite: strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9). Instead of questioning Him, I rested in His Word: "In the day of trouble, He will keep me safe in His dwelling, He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock." (Psalm 27:5) I decreed His life promise to me in Isaiah 54 again. I surrendered to Him, "Lord, I've done my part. Now, take control from here." His plans started to make sense since then.

A business opportunity and a new passion flourished. Hello, Eye for Brands! Hello, Weaving!

An opportunity to travel in Japan and live like a local for 30 days came as a surprise (after a long travel hiatus). Okiniiri!!!

My research journey has reached its peak. Kaunting-kaunti na lang!!! Hello, Graduation!!!

New job opportunities abroad came (still praying for the outcome).

It was the perfect illustration of this verse:

Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. - Romans 8:18

2017 was indeed a year of acceleration. This year, my life underwent a reshuffle for God's glory. God removed things to give space to greater ones. I met new people of different nationalities. I braved out of my comfort zone. I learned and relearned things. Some dreams were wrecked and some took slower than I expected while some happened in a flash. But I have never felt safer. There were many reasons to mourn but there were more reasons to get up and dance with God through it all.

The Lord's love, joy, and peace overflowed despite the sufferings in 2017. I hope and pray that you also experienced an overflow in your life. It occurred to me when I put God first above everything, honored the process before His promises, shifted my focus and heeded to His direction, and stood strong and courageous yet brave enough to surrender to His will. His presence is sufficient for us to live a full and an abundant life.

In 2018, let's keep declaring Him as our Peacekeeper. Let's continue claiming His faithfulness in our lives. I will start with one of these verses that my best friend and I have decreed throughout last year. It was so timely because the theme of our church's Prayer and Fasting 2018 is "Ephesians for Christ." 

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us..." -Ephesians 3:20
It's time to face the unexpected in 2018! Cheers to a year of crossing over (attraversiamo) and braving out!

Always Love,
K