When 2018 began, I felt that I would undergo changes and I had to be brave enough to face them. Fear was not completely eradicated when I underwent each change but I learned to persevere and sought God in the process. I believe hurdles are essential for the courage in us to grow.

The previous year refused to back down on me. I entered January with a panic attack. During the holiday break, I was revising my drafts for final submission. At the end of the month, the requirements were completed and my thesis was officially approved by the faculty. I was geared for graduation by God's grace.

Come February, the doors in Japan that I found in 2017 closed. I was determined that I will find another. I am grateful to my family and friends who prayed and supported me. While waiting, I held on to Philippians 1:6:

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6

I decreed that 2018 will be filled with the unexpected for God moves in suddenlies. When I started trusting Him with every area of my life, He opened new doors for me and closed the ones I need to walk away from.

In this blog, I want to share how God moved while I was #BravingOut2018. These new and old revelations unearthed in various events throughout the year made me brave.

Pray God-sized prayers. Dream God-sized dreams.

Finding a job that will fit my current situation was difficult. Most companies and schools would want an employee who could stay for a year or more. So I started as a freelancer. At first, it was difficult for I was independent of support from an employer. But God is amazing in connecting people. I taught two kids who had difficulty in reading in UP Diliman. I had no idea if it would work but it did. I started dreaming and proclaiming about a job where I will be passionate, use my skills and gifts, be mentored and gain various experience from, and rejoice in my labor.

April to May was my training ground season. While my student took a summer vacation, I started a job where I applied my MA in Reading Education in a clinical setting for a summer program. It wasn’t an easy feat but it was a stretch that I needed.

In July, I was waiting patiently on God for financial breakthroughs. My online business, Eye for Brands, encountered internal and external issues and I needed to pause for two months. God was faithful because a new supplier came in September. Despite the struggles, I was able to enjoy my labor. An example was enjoying a fitness activity again.

God always has the resource ready for the assignment. The greater the assignment, the greater the resource. The fear of asking God for BIG things due to timidity and spirit of lack must lessen. How could we be so afraid to ask when He could move beyond our dreams and imagination?

Obey God and fight for your destiny.

In May, I made a declaration that the enemy cannot steal my joy. I felt like my dreams were being taken away from me. I was scouting GaijinPot and other websites daily, revising my resumé for the nth time, and sending it through emails but receiving no response. It seemed like I was going nowhere. But I chose to praise God over my circumstances and be grateful. People told me to traverse a different path. They only led me to listen to God more. I have a God “who teaches me to profit, who leads me in the way I should go (Isaiah 48:17). I fought for my dream; the promotion in my Promised Land. Obedience was His word.

“Whoever obeys His command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him.” Ecclesiastes 8:5-6

God is our adamant. Because the Spirit of Christ dwells in us, therefore, we are immovable and unshakeable. We can win over anything.

Build your confidence in God.

Despite the feeling or rejection due to closed doors at the beginning of the year, the Lord made me believe in myself again. I graduated in June with my thesis nominated for Best Thesis Award, my father arriving at my graduation just in time, and a celebration with the whole family. My thesis was also accepted to a local and an international conference. I knew that the reason for these achievements were not to lift me up. It was to glorify God who offered redemption and vindication from the dreams that died in the past years. All things are possible with Him.

The moment that I started declaring and claiming my destiny, new doors opened. In the middle of May, I applied to an agency for a teaching job in Japan and attended an orientation. The tedious and lengthy process almost sucked my will out. In response, I tried to counteract every difficulty with prayer. In June, I passed the comprehensive job interview. In July, I prepared. In August, I passed the teaching demo. From September to early October, all the necessary requirements were completed. At the end of October, the company in Japan approved my application. During my job interview at the agency, the international director acted more like family. He reminded me that I have it all in me, I was bound to go to Japan, and my refined personality would fit there. He also stated that no matter what we’ve achieved in life, we are all the same. There is no room for arrogance, only humility. I couldn’t quite believe what I heard at first. Clearly, it was God speaking to me. Moreover, after three years of waiting, I was able to enroll in three consecutive Japanese language classes in UP Diliman. Thank God I passed two courses! This confirmed my journey to the land of the rising sun.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-37

I also learned that the highest central value in life is attitudinal—how we respond to what we experience in life matters. The key is to be proactive.

Come out of your comfort zone and experience His glory.

This year, my introverted personality was redefined. In August, God met me where I am when I presented my thesis in the International Conference on Teacher Education (ICTED). Instead of hiding in my shell, he pulled me out of my comfort zone to build connections with people in the educational field. I was so nervous but God took away my fears of not being liked, making a mistake, and not being good enough. My advocacy for children with autism propelled me to go. God doesn't want us to hide and stay in the "I'm OK" zone. He wants us to step out and witness MORE!

“I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfil His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]” Philippians 4:13 Amplified Version

Be kind and speak truth to thyself and others.

I experienced numerous faith tests in relationships in 2018. I let myself be affected by other's people's perceptions of me. It caused me pain. I lost my confidence and I messed up. God has been good and faithful as always. God gives and takes away. But He also redeems and restores relationships.

Through Him, I learned to be kind to myself. I accepted that I am a work in progress. I also declared that I was not born to be a people pleaser and a push-over. I also learned the value of speaking an encouraging Truth about God's will for that person rather than pointing out their mistakes; to give constructive feedback in a gentle and loving way and ample praise at the right moments without hesitation; and to be consistent with my thoughts and actions around others. Moreover, I fully accepted the fact that I couldn't change people and their ways. I could only leave that to God. I prayed to God to remove the spirit of timidity, vulnerability, and inconsistency in me. Accepting change and allowing ourselves to undergo transformation show tremendous courage.

Entrust everything to Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

2018 was about choices. There is a time to choose battles and there is a time to choose peace. There is a time to say yes and a time to say no. In August, new doors were opened. I applied as an assistant researcher in a university and as a reading specialist in a non-profit organization. My application went well but not well enough for them to give me the job. The only reason was I was leaving for Japan soon. I surrendered and chose to believe in God. My security was anchored upon Him. At the end of September, the non-profit organization suddenly offered the job to me again. After seeking God's will, I learned the timing was so right for I just finished the requirements for Japan, and I received the answer in Ephesians 5-9. The job was a gift from Him, sealed with gladness of heart, wisdom, knowledge, and joy. I shouldn't fear if the job is beyond my knowledge and abilities for this is the perfect place to be in this season where I could find favor. When I accepted the offer, He started to reveal more of Himself in the new land. My schedule worked out for I was still able to teach in one-on-one reading intervention sessions. There were times when I felt inadequate, tired, and stressed. But He surrounded me with a new family at work. And I just kept declaring His Word and entrusted everything to Him.

I chose to heed to God's leading. I chose to enjoy the pressing and stretching period. I chose to change my perspective in relationships. I chose to love. I chose to accept others for who they are. I chose joy. In numerous events, I chose to make the most out of every opportunity. I chose to glorify God above all.

Among all these learnings, I learned the true definition of being brave. It's not about being the strongest and most skilled to fight. It's not about winning every battle to earn and receive recognition. True courage is seen in the encouraging words we share with our loved ones; a kind gesture shown to a person unkind to us; and a decision to love and understand others despite the differences and the pain. It is also demonstrated by an individual stepping into unknown places where he/she is called without knowing what lies ahead. It is seen in a person surrendering his/her life and dying to self every single day.

Braving out requires great faith. And courage only comes from the Lord. As 2019 begins, I pray God will give us the ability to transcend every circumstance with courage and joy. May we rise above and go beyond the barriers that limit and bind us in order for us to experience the full and abundant life that He offers. May our faith carry us to greater heights with Him in 2019!

“The glory of the present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,” says the Lord Almighty. “And in this place, I will grant peace,” declares the Lord Almighty.” Haggai 2:7-9

Happy New Year!