When I lost my Macbook that contained all my thesis files, work files, and what could best sum up my current life, I discovered more about God. It was not because I do not know anything about Him, but I needed to know Him more and come closer to Him during this season.

My initial reaction was to believe in God despite the impossibility of getting my laptop back. Knowing myself, the child in me would cry and panic in times like this. Surprisingly, my panic attack lasted for a brief moment as if suppressed. Instead, I stayed calm and collected, knowing that He is good and He has a greater plan behind this. His peace that transcends all understanding uplifted me. But He also wanted me to move, to do the basics of retrieving something that was lost.

In order to investigate the case, I acted like my favorite detective, Nancy Drew, sleuthing for clues. The game went on for a week. The barangay and the police helped me by giving endorsements or permission to acquire CCTV footages, coordinate with the people involved, and all that. It was tiring because I did more of the investigation within the area and discovered the suspects. Being an INFJ, talking to people was the hardest for me. But this situation brought me out of my comfort zone. Without hesitation, I became direct and purposeful while talking to different kinds of people--crews, managers, administration staff, security personnel, barangay officials, police, and ITs. I am grateful that none of these people bullied me or ignored my calls for help.

However, as I went through the process of finding out what happened, I ignored something very important. I was also human. On my way to a ‘supposed-to-be-exciting' appointment with friends on a Sunday afternoon, God pushed me aside and asked, ''My daughter, how are you feeling? Isn’t it time to focus on yourself?’’ I wondered why I forced myself to go even though I was going through a tough time. When I was about to meet my friends, a motherly counsellor and churchmate talked to me and helped me process. She reminded me very clearly, “It’s okay not to be okay.” I cried buckets of tears that day. God showered His steadfast love to me during worship in church and in our Quiet Time before I went to bed. I started to step out of the problem, examine it from a distance, and focus on Him.

God is so good. The laptop might have been taken away from me due to my weaknesses and evil schemes of people but He restored all the files that I needed to finish my thesis and graduate. The actions of manually dropping my files in Google Drive, external hard drive, iCloud, and USB every time I added something to my work were God's preemptive measures. On the Friday night before my laptop was lost, He impressed upon me to copy and sync my files. I was not able to save what I did during the weekend after that. But if I didn’t listen to his precaution, I would have lost more files and I would have been more devastated.

Moreover, on that deadly Monday, I was on my way to a very important interview that was in line with my greatest dreams. I almost did not make it due to the worsening rain and traffic. I could not have used my laptop for my presentation to the panel if my laptop got lost a few hours earlier. But still, I made it to the interview five minutes early and I was able to experience a great opportunity. It was also a week after when I finally resolved my emotions with the help of my coaching group leader. I decided to finally end the search and trust God with the process. When I did, I received good news about another open door of opportunity. I could have ignored the email longer and delayed the reason to celebrate. Other than that, I was able to borrow another laptop and finish my thesis drafts to be reviewed by my adviser. God allowed these! He is sovereign over all.

What was God's plan? Three weeks have already passed and I still do not know. All I know is He is doing something in me and through me because of this situation. I want to share it to anyone who is reading and who wants to witness more of God and His character.


God meant everything for good.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” 
-Romans 8:28

As God's son or daughter, it is harder to comprehend why such horrible things happen. It’s easier to accept hardship and pain when we are living in sin than when we are living a life of love and servitude for God. But we must remember that He is accomplishing good through it. I remembered Joseph’s story when he was taken into captivity and evil was upon him. In spite of it all, he believed that God was doing something good in him and through him. No matter how painful and difficult it is, it is all part of God’s good plan for us. He is always good.


God is just and merciful to His children.

"You intended to harm me but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” 
-Genesis 50:20

Justice will prevail because God is after uprightness. This affliction or grief surely does not prevail. I may not know what is happening or what will happen to the people who hurt me. But I fear for them because the consequences of their actions are not forgotten by God. Being more inclined to act as a good Samaritan, I wanted to see the goodness in them. So instead of instilling hatred in my heart towards them, I prayed that God uses this situation for them to know Him. I prayed that they would stop choosing evil over good.

Honestly, I was so disappointed how deceitful human hearts are. The default states of our hearts are solely focused on ourselves. The little boy who was told or asked to carry my laptop was the most heartbreaking of all. As a teacher, my heart broke because I could not imagine a child could do such an evil thing and not be aware of it. He must have followed out of obedience to get something that was not theirs. Like Jesus, I wanted to say, “Father forgive him for the boy does not know what he is doing.” I am hoping that salvation will come to them someday. We need God more than ever in this life. He always saves those He loves and those who love Him.

God is loving especially in our times of grief.

“For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.” 
-Lamentations 3:31-33

God's love is enough to help us go through our grief. His mercy and compassion do not fail. Because of His love, we can be free from our anger, fear, and pain. We are not consumed by our problems. His compassion is new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness (Lamentations 3:23-24)! He always loves without fail.


God is first in everything.

“The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; He hears their cry and saves them.” 
-Psalm 145:17-18

God is more powerful and greater than our problems. Instead of seeking help from people or resolving our problems on our own, calling on Him and meeting Him first is the best decision. No matter how holy or skilled a person that we are seeking help from is, God wants us to put everything aside and decide with Him first (Galatians 1:16). He must come before anyone or anything else. He must be placed before everything. He is first. Always.


God is intentional with us.

“Forget the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” 
-Isaiah 43:18-19

God knows the beginning and the end. He has a good, pleasing, and perfect plan in mind for each of us. Everything, the good and the bad, is necessary to happen for a reason that is beyond our understanding. It may be a learning experience. It may be a time to pause and reflect. Maybe it is a time to learn how to think less of ourselves and more of God and His plans for His people. Or simply, it is a time of preparation for the great and new things! God hones us so that we will become resilient, capable of handling the events that are about to come. Instead of trusting in chariots and in horses, we can trust in His Name (Psalm 20:7). He always has our lives under control.

God wills everything for our joy.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” 
-Job 1:20-21

The enemy expects us to curse God when our blessings and parts of ourselves are taken away from us. Like Job, we may cry, get angry, and breakdown. Then, the choice whether to continue chasing after the wind or start rising up from our problems to praise and worship comes. We can choose to leave our material possessions and lose ourselves in the process. It is an act of minimizing ourselves and magnifying God. Choosing the latter does not happen overnight. But turning to God is always the right way to finding everlasting joy and peace. God’s promise comes after we grieve. Our grief will turn into joy (John 16:20).

This deeper knowledge about who God is led me to new perspectives on how to cope with loss. It was painful to lose something that I worked hard to acquire, sweat and blood, and invested so much work in. However, God made me realize that even without it, He could fulfill His plans for me. There is no need to worry because I can trust that His provision overflows. He wants my whole attention during this season; to be attached to Him rather than to anyone or anything else. And He commands me to expect greater things; things that are of quality instead of quantity and eternal instead of temporary things.

All that has happened are geared toward a greater revelation that is about to unfold in its appointed time. It can be what I hoped and prayed for or it can be beyond my hopes and imagination. Regardless of the outcome, God will be proven good, loving, and faithful not only to me but to His witnesses.

I may have had a huge part of me broken. But I did not lose God. I found more of Him. And this life has become more meaningful and precious to live.

© Bong Mortero