Dream vs. Reality
Saturday, December 19, 2020
Saturday, December 19, 2020
[insert word] In A Time of Corona Virus
Tuesday, August 4, 2020こんにちは！ I have always believed that this year will be full of the unexpected. I just didn't expect that I would find the entire world in ...
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
こんにちは！
Staying home is challenging but people are spending more time with their families. This is a time when the rays of the sun become as important as three to five meals a day. A tiny room becomes a venue to bring out great aesthetic pleasure. The number of virtual conversations multiply as everyone becomes available online. The birth rate of new hobbies increase as much as the number of corona virus cases. The list goes on...
Growth in a Time of Corona Virus
Even though it feels like nothing is moving forward, there is still room for productivity and growth. We can be proactive in our difficult seasons. We can be stuck alone in our one-bedroom apartment but we can be used for something big. We can be used by God in our virtual community or neighborhood to be an encouragement and a blessing to someone else. He uses the numerous platforms we have today as a venue where He will display His work in us and through us. It is tough to stay physically and mentally strong while living in this chaotic world where everything seems to be going haywire. But God is stronger and He is moving greatly. He can handle this for us better than anyone else, better than ourselves.
Like everybody else, I am feeling mixed emotions about this pandemic. Though this has helped me nurture my introvertedness and creativity, it also made me deal with monstrosities inside me, habits that I must get rid of, and unnecessary thoughts in my head. Like most people who have current illnesses that are either inborn or acquired, I am scared of the virus since it is a little more dangerous for people who have allergic rhinitis and asthma.
At the end of March, I read an article in the Harvard Business review entitled, "That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief." I started to call my emotions as grief and accept this as a grieving period that is normal and necessary for me to move on in life. I learned that it was all right to go back and forth between the different stages namely denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance, depression, and making meaning. I started to find comfort in knowing that I am part of the process, God is not finished yet, and the final outcome will be good no matter.
I would want to use this phrase "[insert word] in a Time of Corona Virus" to talk about the great things that gave birth in my life while grieving.
Creativity in a Time of Corona Virus
In the past, I have done a lot of creative exploits to divert my attention and distress myself from the world. I haven't done much art like I used to but since I moved to a new city and apartment, I enjoyed interior decorating and organizing. I built some furniture from IKEA and bought household things from Nitori, two of the biggest home centers in Japan, that brought me joy. Online shopping has been so easy here due to fast and efficient delivery. I also bought household stuffs from Amazon Japan and Seria, a 100 yen store that sells budget-friendly and useful items, similar to Daiso. Unboxing, organizing, and fixing my new home was challenging but it kept me sane and productive during the quarantine period. I felt like I was playing SIMS in real-life. I made the frustrated MacGyver/interior designer in me so happy! Making a place look and feel like home is a therapy that I needed.
I haven't written a lot of blogs since I came here in Japan. But I have started journaling about God's Word more often than before. For two months, I wrote to God everyday and I was fortunate to share my learnings with beautiful women from Lifehouse Kyoto Church online. Since I went back to my school to teach in June, I have made it a point to journal at least once a week. I hope to write more stories in this blog again.
Love in a Time of Corona Virus
Building relationships was the highlight of my quarantine period. If it weren't for the plenty of free time, I wouldn't be able to catch up with people around the world. The Internet has made the earth small. I am enjoying the new features of Messenger, Skype, Zoom, and Google Hangouts/Meetings that made coming together possible online. It took time for me to adjust to it since I was never the person who shows his or her face on camera, especially in a group of people. But these apps certainly allowed me to make connections (to a certain amount that I need, of course hihi).
The pandemic and the need to stay at home has increased my awareness of the importance of communication with my loved ones especially now that I live far away from them. I talked to my family, mostly with my Mom, almost everyday. I chatted with my close friends from the Philippines more often too. I also maintained my contact with my friends from Kyoto and Hyogo and was able to meet some of them in person at least once a month. I also discovered the need to show more appreciation to the people who are currently in my life right now. I will never know when we will see or talk again so I need to make the most out of every meeting or hang out. Now is a time to pause, reflect, and love ourselves and the people around us.
Though I enjoy living independently, I wouldn't deny that it makes me feel lonely and depressed at times. I remember my mother telling me about her crazy winter time in 1989 Chiba, taking care of me and my sick brother in a tiny apartment room, while my father attended classes in graduate school. All she wanted was to scream. I felt that suffocating feeling during this pandemic too--as if the walls would swallow me up. But I am really grateful that I have an omnipresent God whom I could pray to and seek guidance from. Despite being quarantined most of the time, He has placed key people in my life. No matter how isolated and free we want ourselves to be, we are never meant to be alone in this world. As John Donne had said, "No man is an island." We all need each other.
Growth in a Time of Corona Virus
One hobby that I have done less frequently in the past years since I graduated from college was reading books. I have missed the desire to finish a book or the feeling of not being able to put down a book because I am too involved in it. During the quarantine period, I found myself reading in bed with a lamp hovering on my book. I couldn't sleep because I wanted to know what would happen next. I have never felt this for a long time. Now that there is more time to read during commuting hours and down times at home or at work, I have no excuse. There are too many books to read, too many wisdom to learn and impart, and too many adventures to take. The books, especially the novels, inspire me to dream and grow.
Due to COVID-19, my hygiene practices have evolved a hundredfold because I have already been called majime, which means being honest, reliable, responsible, and diligent. Some Japanese words that will stick with me for a very long time are shodoku (disinfecting, sanitizing) and mitsu desu (you are too close). Along with those, I have kept in mind the three Cs (this sounds like the reading strategy I created in my thesis hihi!) that need to be avoided: crowded places, close contact with people, and closed spaces. A Japanese even created a simple but fun game called "Mitsu desu." The goal is to avoid people! HAH! Following this is definitely the hard work, right? Being stuck in a bus filled with students, employees, and the elderly every time I go to work is challenging for me. I try so hard not to touch my face until I arrive at school and sanitize my hands and belongings. But every time I experience flu-related symptoms at home, I become paranoid that I might have gotten the virus somewhere. So I just fill up my body with multivitamins, fruits, vegetables, and get more sleep.
Studying Japanese has been more frequent now that I am gifted with more down time even at work. Honestly, studying Japanese has felt like torture and I get frustrated sometimes. Just like recently, I wanted to give up because it has been affecting my teaching and social skills. But learning Japanese is a good kind of torture. Writing has been really fun for me. I just pray that I will improve in my listening, speaking, and reading skills. I hope that my brain will get better at remembering new vocabulary, kanji characters, and grammar rules. Other than this, I am thankful that I am being led to self-discovery by studying a culture apart from my own.
My yoga practice has improved a lot since I returned to it last May. Unexpectedly, I found an online yoga teacher-friend without looking for one. We practice regularly now for 6x a week compared to once or twice a month before. It has helped me to focus on tasks, and develop my flexibility, balance, and strength. My overall mental health has been better as well. At first, it was really hard to commit to it especially when working in schools resumed. Ashtanga yoga practice takes 1-2 hours to finish, depending on the sequences or poses taught by the teacher. But since I decided to honor my commitment, it has become my mantra to just keep going. And this brings me so much joy! Yay!
 |
| from May to June only (July to August not included) |
There are also a lot of realizations when time is slow. I am grateful for the financial support from the government and from our company's Santa. I have come to realize how lucky I am that I still have a job and that they assured us that we would retain our jobs until the end of our contracts. Money and jobs are temporary and they could easily go away. So the jobs and tasks given to us right now are good reasons to be thankful.
During the quarantine period, I was fortunate to teach a child with special needs from Cagayan de Oro City, Northern Mindanao, the southern island of the Philippines. Though our online one-on-one sessions lasted for only two months, it was a very meaningful time for us. I found myself looking forward to our meetings. We were both very sad on our last day. But I was more than happy that their school has transitioned to virtual learning classrooms. Hurray for change!
Even though it feels like nothing is moving forward, there is still room for productivity and growth. We can be proactive in our difficult seasons. We can be stuck alone in our one-bedroom apartment but we can be used for something big. We can be used by God in our virtual community or neighborhood to be an encouragement and a blessing to someone else. He uses the numerous platforms we have today as a venue where He will display His work in us and through us. It is tough to stay physically and mentally strong while living in this chaotic world where everything seems to be going haywire. But God is stronger and He is moving greatly. He can handle this for us better than anyone else, better than ourselves.
We are somewhat stuck in different stages of grief--from denying to making meaning still--and I think that is AOK. The temporary things in this world have no permanent spot in God's handiwork. God removes every mark that is out of place and makes it all work together for good. He moves mountains for us. I still believe in a year of wonder amidst the hardships.
Hang in there. Much love, everyone. Stay safe.
K
All Things Shall Pass
Friday, April 3, 2020March 3, 2020 On my way to school, I walked with a first-grade student named Hanyu, who was as tired as I was. The new schedule due to...
Friday, April 3, 2020
March 3, 2020
On my way to school, I walked with a first-grade student named Hanyu, who was as tired as I was. The new schedule due to nCoV, COVID-19, or the ウィルス was our topic. All the other students we passed by were tired too. But their good mornings gave a smile on my face.
Not knowing whether this would be the last day of the year gave me mixed emotions. When I entered the kyoinshitsu (teachers' room), the teachers gave me a look that I couldn't describe. It has been weeks since I last came here to teach. "Did she miss the memo?" was painted on an administrative staff member's face. Let's call him Mr. Friendly.
I wanted to tell him that I have been told to come to school regardless of the Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's announcement on class cancellations for the remaining days of the year. The Ayabe Board of Education decided to close school for two weeks. Then we all had to wait for further instructions. That was the part we were all confused about.
I said my cheery "Ohayou gozaimasu" to everyone. I listened and pretended to understand the third-grade teachers' morning meeting. The first morning bell rang and all the teachers who had classes disappeared to their respective classrooms.
After five minutes, the second morning bell rang. I stood up along with the administration staff, the koucho-sensei (principal) and kyoto-sensei (vice principal), said their usual あいさつ (greetings) and all of us greeted and bowed in return.
I had an empty schedule today. "Should I join other teacher's classes? I must accomplish something. I would need to stay here until the last period. What will a good teacher do? Should I firtle?" I thought. I learned the word 'firtle' from a friend. It was not even in the dictionary. It simply means to look busy despite doing very little, which completely described me during my free periods at school. Go figure.
A few seconds later, I figured out that this would be a good day to write.
Ayabe--the city where I slowed down in a good way. There were dull moments. But I often see them as a pause in the busy lifestyle that I had gotten used to in the past years of teaching. The slowness of the countryside was beneficial to my growth not only as a teacher but as an individual.
My thoughts started to drift to how I learned about the school life here in Japan. My farthest and smallest junior high school was situated in a town called Kanbayashi. I teach only 11 students from first to third grade. Despite the tiny class size, I am able to teach and interact with the students directly. Each student was given plenty of time to exercise their English skills, especially speaking skills. I will never forget the undying laughter over children's comments and stories during the activities.
The closest school to Kanbayashi is located in a town called Yamaga. I wonder why I never took the train to this school. The bus was more convenient though it only arrives in a station every hour. I enjoyed teaching the students with special needs who come from a nearby school dormitory to attend English, Physical Education, and Computer classes. When it comes to the regular students, the individual oral tests were great opportunities to build rapport with them and the most enjoyable for me.
In Monobe-cho, there is an old school built in 1947 which looked like it came out of a Studio Ghibli film. Forest and mountains surround the school. Though I have never seen animals, the kyoto-sensei told me that a bear often pays a visit. The kids said a deer, wild boar, or racoon sometimes come too. The teachers were surprised that I found the school beautiful.
My most isolated school could be found in a 10-minute train ride to Umezako, followed by a 5-minute walk. During the winter season, biking in the early hours of the morning to Ayabe station was very challenging.
As for my students, the second and third graders' enjoyed learning English. Though there were few of them who really needed assistance, they were mostly attentive during class. Similar to most schools, the oral tests were the most interesting because I could converse with each student and we could learn more about each other.
This school where I am currently in right now is the biggest and busiest school that I mostly frequent to. At first, the teachers asked me to provide English activities. Then my interaction with the students changed to oral tests where I assess each student's speeches individually or in pairs. I would never forget giving oral tests in the hallways during snowy days. The students and I had chills. Literally! I especially enjoyed the interactions with the students during kyushoku (lunch time), souji (cleaning time), and other break times in this school because many of them were more relaxed and less shy.
Ironically, this was my first and last teaching day of the school year. How funny it is that I get a free schedule all day again? Just like on my first day, I warmed up at my desk until the awkwardness faded into thin air. I started to not care at all. Everyone was busy as usual.
The kyushoku lady approached me and handed an envelope where I usually put my lunch money. I asked her about the school schedule. Not knowing how to respond in English, she and the administration staff explained to me in simple Japanese. I was able to understand the gist of what they were saying. This was my last day at school. My JTE in third grade explained to me in English. In this city, the classes would resume on the 16th. "What should I do today then?" I thought. "Interact."
So there was still a chance to say goodbye to four out of six schools. I suddenly started thinking about how I could make those days special.
If there is one thing that I realized from these sudden and unfortunate happenings, it is to make the most out of everything. Appreciate people. Tell people how you feel about them. Because you will never know when you will see them again. Crappy thoughts, right?
Thoughts about the outbreak flashed through my mind as I tried to wrestle with various emotions. "How could this unfortunate event in my career happen during a virus outbreak? How will the country battle through the unseen enemy in the next few weeks? Where will I find myself as an English teacher in Japan amidst these? Why are these negative emotions --fear, nervousness, anxiety-- suddenly mixed all at once?" These are honest questions that I will leave unanswered for awhile.
Maybe I don't really need direct answers right now. I just need to flow. Or maybe, I'm just hormonal.
Whew.
All things shall pass.
Not knowing whether this would be the last day of the year gave me mixed emotions. When I entered the kyoinshitsu (teachers' room), the teachers gave me a look that I couldn't describe. It has been weeks since I last came here to teach. "Did she miss the memo?" was painted on an administrative staff member's face. Let's call him Mr. Friendly.
I wanted to tell him that I have been told to come to school regardless of the Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's announcement on class cancellations for the remaining days of the year. The Ayabe Board of Education decided to close school for two weeks. Then we all had to wait for further instructions. That was the part we were all confused about.
I said my cheery "Ohayou gozaimasu" to everyone. I listened and pretended to understand the third-grade teachers' morning meeting. The first morning bell rang and all the teachers who had classes disappeared to their respective classrooms.
After five minutes, the second morning bell rang. I stood up along with the administration staff, the koucho-sensei (principal) and kyoto-sensei (vice principal), said their usual あいさつ (greetings) and all of us greeted and bowed in return.
I had an empty schedule today. "Should I join other teacher's classes? I must accomplish something. I would need to stay here until the last period. What will a good teacher do? Should I firtle?" I thought. I learned the word 'firtle' from a friend. It was not even in the dictionary. It simply means to look busy despite doing very little, which completely described me during my free periods at school. Go figure.
A few seconds later, I figured out that this would be a good day to write.
Ayabe--the city where I slowed down in a good way. There were dull moments. But I often see them as a pause in the busy lifestyle that I had gotten used to in the past years of teaching. The slowness of the countryside was beneficial to my growth not only as a teacher but as an individual.
My thoughts started to drift to how I learned about the school life here in Japan. My farthest and smallest junior high school was situated in a town called Kanbayashi. I teach only 11 students from first to third grade. Despite the tiny class size, I am able to teach and interact with the students directly. Each student was given plenty of time to exercise their English skills, especially speaking skills. I will never forget the undying laughter over children's comments and stories during the activities.
In Monobe-cho, there is an old school built in 1947 which looked like it came out of a Studio Ghibli film. Forest and mountains surround the school. Though I have never seen animals, the kyoto-sensei told me that a bear often pays a visit. The kids said a deer, wild boar, or racoon sometimes come too. The teachers were surprised that I found the school beautiful.
The exteriors and interiors were only a façade to the warmth of the teachers and students. One of my favorite activities with the students is Small Talk. It usually opens to interesting and thought-provoking discussions. Sometimes, it gets silly too.
The nearest school to Monobe is located in Fukugaki which was mostly surrounded with green tea and rice plantations. The school involved me in almost everything--regular English classes, English classes for students with special needs, Eiken tests, school events and practices, and Japanese English Teacher's school observations. The latter was the most nerve wracking! The only thing that I was not able to do is to join the school clubs after school because I was usually asked to do something else. You could say that I got a full immersion in this school.
My most isolated school could be found in a 10-minute train ride to Umezako, followed by a 5-minute walk. During the winter season, biking in the early hours of the morning to Ayabe station was very challenging.
Another problem was the less frequency of train and bus rides in this area. So when my classes stretch up to the last period of the day, I have to run so fast to the train station, losing my breath, which usually made the Japanese locals from Maizuru shoot me a surprising look as if saying, "Here goes the teacher on a run again!"
This school where I am currently in right now is the biggest and busiest school that I mostly frequent to. At first, the teachers asked me to provide English activities. Then my interaction with the students changed to oral tests where I assess each student's speeches individually or in pairs. I would never forget giving oral tests in the hallways during snowy days. The students and I had chills. Literally! I especially enjoyed the interactions with the students during kyushoku (lunch time), souji (cleaning time), and other break times in this school because many of them were more relaxed and less shy.
Ironically, this was my first and last teaching day of the school year. How funny it is that I get a free schedule all day again? Just like on my first day, I warmed up at my desk until the awkwardness faded into thin air. I started to not care at all. Everyone was busy as usual.
The kyushoku lady approached me and handed an envelope where I usually put my lunch money. I asked her about the school schedule. Not knowing how to respond in English, she and the administration staff explained to me in simple Japanese. I was able to understand the gist of what they were saying. This was my last day at school. My JTE in third grade explained to me in English. In this city, the classes would resume on the 16th. "What should I do today then?" I thought. "Interact."
So there was still a chance to say goodbye to four out of six schools. I suddenly started thinking about how I could make those days special.
Last Friday, I bid the third graders goodbye at the school in Fukugaki. I gave them a short farewell speech. I left them three important points: 1) Keep trying. Do your best. 2) Enjoy life. Take a rest. Join a club that they like. Have fun. 3) Make friends. Good ones. Make friends with foreigners like me. They were very happy and warm. I told them how short this year was and thanked them for their efforts and energy. They told me, "See you!" as if that wasn't the last.
In my special needs classes, I was surprised to receive origami gifts from two of my students. The girl read her letter to me and gave me a cat origami. My eyes were nearly swelling with tears. "Don't cry," I told myself. Though the boy didn't go to class, my JTE read his heartfelt letter and gave me a flower and a swallow origami. These were some of the best gifts any teacher would want to receive.
In my special needs classes, I was surprised to receive origami gifts from two of my students. The girl read her letter to me and gave me a cat origami. My eyes were nearly swelling with tears. "Don't cry," I told myself. Though the boy didn't go to class, my JTE read his heartfelt letter and gave me a flower and a swallow origami. These were some of the best gifts any teacher would want to receive.
Last week, we were not sure how things would turn out. I was surprised when my JTEs and students started telling me kind words. Woah, I felt like the last days are coming!
You are a hard worker.
You are friendly and kind.
You are a good person.
I know that you will do it anywhere.
Sabishi desu.
-Ms. Ai, mentor
The students enjoy your lesson.
Your lessons are easy to understand.
I will like to continue teaching with you.
Sabishi desu.
- Ms. M, 3rd Grade JTE special support teacher
I enjoy talking with the ALT. I gradually love English.
- second grade student's self-introduction for an interview, as part of his application to Australia-Japan exchange program
Your questions are very interesting.
It is getting better and better.
You are soft. Your attitude to students is good. They can feel good atmosphere.
-Ms. S, 3rd year JTE
During souji, I interacted with the students as we cleaned the classroom and hallways. While I was sweeping the floor, one boy with a broom faced me and shouted, "Watashi - wa - aishite - imasu!!!" Then he ran to the other side of the hallway and swept the floor there. I confirmed what he said to the female student who was half-Filipino and half-Japanese. She said it meant "I love you." Then I said it back to the students, "Minna-san, watashi wa aishite imasu." Man, I held back my tears once more.
When the school bell rang at the end of the sixth period, all the teachers came back to the teachers' room. I walked up to my JTE teachers to say goodbye. They, too, told me very nice things that only a teacher leaving the school would hear.
You are so useful.
You talk to the students a lot. You eat with them. You clean with them.
This is so sad.
-Ms. K, 1st year JTE
Your English is easy to understand.
The students understand the lessons.
-Ms. T, 3rd year JTE
Thank you so much. I enjoyed as well. Ganbatte kudasai.
- Mr. N, 2nd year JTE
Samishi ne. I wanted to know more about the dyslexia.
- Ms. K
Samishi ne. Ogenki de. Ganbatte kudasai. Arigatou gozaimasu.
-three administration staff members
One of those staff members, Mr. Friendly, led me to the koucho-sensei. Even though she was having a meeting with another person and the kyoto-sensei, she went out to say goodbye. Kyoto-sensei said, "Sabishi desu ne. Arigatou gozaimashita." I felt the sadness in her voice and saw it in her eyes. She said so many things in Japanese which Mr. Friendly tried to translate in English. Words failed us but the feeling was mutual. Mr. Friendly watched me put on my outdoor shoes and walk out the door. Then he called me from the balcony, "Bai bai, Kaye-sensei!" I waved at him and said, "Arigatou gozaimashita! Good bye!"
You are a hard worker.
You are friendly and kind.
You are a good person.
I know that you will do it anywhere.
Sabishi desu.
-Ms. Ai, mentor
The students enjoy your lesson.
Your lessons are easy to understand.
I will like to continue teaching with you.
Sabishi desu.
- Ms. M, 3rd Grade JTE special support teacher
I enjoy talking with the ALT. I gradually love English.
- second grade student's self-introduction for an interview, as part of his application to Australia-Japan exchange program
Your questions are very interesting.
It is getting better and better.
You are soft. Your attitude to students is good. They can feel good atmosphere.
-Ms. S, 3rd year JTE
During souji, I interacted with the students as we cleaned the classroom and hallways. While I was sweeping the floor, one boy with a broom faced me and shouted, "Watashi - wa - aishite - imasu!!!" Then he ran to the other side of the hallway and swept the floor there. I confirmed what he said to the female student who was half-Filipino and half-Japanese. She said it meant "I love you." Then I said it back to the students, "Minna-san, watashi wa aishite imasu." Man, I held back my tears once more.
When the school bell rang at the end of the sixth period, all the teachers came back to the teachers' room. I walked up to my JTE teachers to say goodbye. They, too, told me very nice things that only a teacher leaving the school would hear.
You are so useful.
You talk to the students a lot. You eat with them. You clean with them.
This is so sad.
-Ms. K, 1st year JTE
Your English is easy to understand.
The students understand the lessons.
-Ms. T, 3rd year JTE
Thank you so much. I enjoyed as well. Ganbatte kudasai.
- Mr. N, 2nd year JTE
Samishi ne. I wanted to know more about the dyslexia.
- Ms. K
Samishi ne. Ogenki de. Ganbatte kudasai. Arigatou gozaimasu.
-three administration staff members
One of those staff members, Mr. Friendly, led me to the koucho-sensei. Even though she was having a meeting with another person and the kyoto-sensei, she went out to say goodbye. Kyoto-sensei said, "Sabishi desu ne. Arigatou gozaimashita." I felt the sadness in her voice and saw it in her eyes. She said so many things in Japanese which Mr. Friendly tried to translate in English. Words failed us but the feeling was mutual. Mr. Friendly watched me put on my outdoor shoes and walk out the door. Then he called me from the balcony, "Bai bai, Kaye-sensei!" I waved at him and said, "Arigatou gozaimashita! Good bye!"
If there is one thing that I realized from these sudden and unfortunate happenings, it is to make the most out of everything. Appreciate people. Tell people how you feel about them. Because you will never know when you will see them again. Crappy thoughts, right?
Thoughts about the outbreak flashed through my mind as I tried to wrestle with various emotions. "How could this unfortunate event in my career happen during a virus outbreak? How will the country battle through the unseen enemy in the next few weeks? Where will I find myself as an English teacher in Japan amidst these? Why are these negative emotions --fear, nervousness, anxiety-- suddenly mixed all at once?" These are honest questions that I will leave unanswered for awhile.
Maybe I don't really need direct answers right now. I just need to flow. Or maybe, I'm just hormonal.
Whew.
All things shall pass.
In a World of October: 32 Years of Gratefulness
Saturday, February 15, 2020On my birthday last October 30th, I wrote a gratitude list. I do not usually write one but recalling everything God has done for me in t...
Saturday, February 15, 2020
In no particular order, I am thankful for:
32 | My family's safety and good health -- I am really happy that we are in different seasons and in every season, we learn from each other
31 | Pets, the sources of joy in our home through the years
30 | Our homes in UP, Capitol Hills, Palawan, Pasig, and Fairview
29 | Friends that stuck with me through thick and thin -- especially for the growth, reconciliation, and revival of some
28 | My big heart for teaching, which began to grow during my time with Nanay and Tatay at PNU
27 | Growing advocacy to teach children with special needs -- Before I left the Philippines, I was really happy that I was able to help a struggling JHS student in a general education school, a college student writing his thesis (he finally graduated last June 2019), two boys struggling with reading, and a student with a serious medical condition. I spent my first birthday here in Japan teaching like normal and cleaning with four boys with special needs at my school. They had no idea it was my birthday, of course. But it really made me happy.
26 | Love for reading and writing -- Now is the time to do this due to more free time.
25 | My mission to teach in Japan and my placement in Ayabe
24 | Wider perspective about the world
23 | Fresh air in the countryside, safety from typhoon, tsunami, and earthquakes
22 | More free time to develop my hobbies
21 | Biking around town
20 | Continuous learning -- from MA to language classes; maybe a PhD? Let's see.
19 | Being able to travel in 10 different countries in the past 10 years -- Japan, Korea, Singapore, China, U.S. (Illinois, California, Massachusetts, Georgia, and Nevada), Qatar, Hungary, Denmark, France, and Austria
18 | Opportunity to develop my cooking skills -- PRESSURE! Hahaha
17 | Experience all the seasons for realzzzz -- winter, spring, summer, and fall
16 | My minimalist and safe apartment -- Even though it's expensive, it consists of everything I need except for a pet huhu
15 | Time to practice making teaching materials on my own again
14 | Purification through difficult times (e.g. dealing with annoying people)
13 | A job that allows me to go home earlier than 5 p.m. (as long as my job is done)
12 | Opportunity to develop English speaking skills (e.g. a clear accent, pace, and projection that is easy and pleasant for students to understand)
11 | Time to put my Japanese language skills to a higher level and a very affordable class within the community
10 | Opportunity to do yoga and stay fit and active
9 | Financial breakthroughs -- I am able to pay off my borrowed money, give back, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
8 | Travels around Japan with family and friends despite limited funds during my first year here -- Exploring Kyoto and its neighbors is something that I've never done in my past trips to Japan. I am thankful for meeting kind and generous people who love to travel.
7 | Two growing churches in Kyoto: Tanyo Church and Lifehouse Kyoto; my budding ministry in Lifehouse Kyoto
6 | Joy and passion in teaching and communicating with my students and co-teachers despite the language barrier
5 | A few friends in the workplace whom I can trust
4 | Filipino family here in Ayabe
3 | New and good friends from different nations
2 | Constant communication with my family and friends back home
1 | A whole heart that is stronger, contented, more loving, more forgiving, and more generous.
To be more grateful this year, I plan to write monthly goals again. I did this two or three years ago and it worked. Having an accountable friend also helps me to stay on track. As I tick the boxes, I feel more accomplished with finishing not just big but little things. And it also makes me feel good about myself.
I hope I will be able to maintain these grateful attitude throughout the year.
To be more grateful this year, I plan to write monthly goals again. I did this two or three years ago and it worked. Having an accountable friend also helps me to stay on track. As I tick the boxes, I feel more accomplished with finishing not just big but little things. And it also makes me feel good about myself.
I hope I will be able to maintain these grateful attitude throughout the year.
2019: A Year of Transcendence
Tuesday, January 7, 2020I decreed that 2019 is a year of transcendence--living out in faith, seeing beyond, and traversing the world's borders. I aimed to ris...
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
I decreed that 2019 is a year of transcendence--living out in faith, seeing beyond, and traversing the world's borders. I aimed to rise above the limitations and restrictions in life and experience the unimaginable gifts God has in store. It involved many acts of surrender and trust in Him, believing that the good work He has started in me and my loved ones will be completed because He is faithful (Philippians 1:6). In the process, I have learned to develop a grateful and patient heart.
Last last Sunday's preaching in my home church was all about gratefulness. It was also the same thing that God was teaching me throughout the year. I started to reflect about the past year/s on my birthday last October. A friend suggested that I create a gratitude list. As my way of saying goodbye to 2019, I wanted to share my "Thank You"s to God and hopefully, whoever's reading will also think of their own and be in a spirit of thanksgiving.
"Thank you for giving me wings."
At an altar call during last year's prayer and fasting, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the stage to stand in faith that I am called to go to the nations. For the very first time in my life, I was sure. On March, I embarked on a journey towards Japan, the country that I have loved dearly since I was born. I experienced a lot of firsts--first time to be separated from my family for a long time, first time to set foot on Kyoto, first time to live independently, including renting an apartment, paying for my bills and expenses, doing all the cleaning, groceries, cooking, and laundry all by myself. I even invested on cultivating my green thumb. Living independently was extremely challenging. But I learned a lot about adulting that made me become a better version of myself. In God, I found wisdom and strength amidst the hardships and homesickness. It was like living out Isaiah 40:31:
"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." (NLT)
"Thank you for the gift of teaching and sending me to Japan."
God is now reminding me of the promises and purposes for me in Japan. Many times I wonder how this journey will turn out. Sometimes I wonder about my home country. Is it okay to leave the Philippines? Am I using what I have learned in special education, reading education, and MA extensively? Then I always find myself going back to Abram's story when he said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that later became his home:
"Now the Lord had said to Abram (Kaye)
'Get out of your country,
From your family
And from your father's house,
To a land that I will show you,
I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
And you shall be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.'"
Genesis 12:1-3
I may just be a foreigner and stranger in Japan (Genesis 17:8) but He can use me wherever He has placed me. I am teaching in a new environment where I could learn, relearn, and unlearn things. Nothing is wasted because all will make sense in the end. I love being a Filipino in Japan and I love the Philippines. I believe God has a greater purpose why He brought me out of it and He sees my obedience to Him.
I believe that the place of calling is not limited to where a person was born or raised. In fact, God brings us to new places where He transforms our lives and uses us to manifest His glory. When He has given us a land to possess, whether in a form of a new workplace, business, or home, take the great leap of faith and claim it. This is a rare opportunity in a timely season to grow and be used by God.
"Thank you for making the world small."
I appreciate technology more when I moved abroad. My family, friends, and I communicated through different social networking sites and apps. Nothing beats talking in person. But the timely audio and video calls helped ease the loneliness and fear-of-missing-out (FOMO).
I am really thankful for the short distance between Japan and the Philippines. I didn't expect that I would be able to go home twice this year. God surprised me with cheap flights last summer. Take note: July to August is a perfect time to search for low fares to and from Japan. It's also another way to escape the scorching summer heat. Another blessing is when my parents were also able to visit me. Though they visited separately, we were able to spend quality time. They were able to see my apartment and the community I lived in, visited some tourist spots, and met my new friends. All God-ordained.
"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him," 1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)
"Thank you for the divine appointments."
The divine appointments throughout the year were all laid out beautifully. I met people from different parts of the world, became involved in organisations within the community, and developed good relationships with my co-teachers and students.
During my eight months here in Japan, one of the beautiful things that God has done is that He has given me a new spiritual family in Kyoto. I first discovered a Protestant church in Ayabe. Though the preachings were entirely in Japanese, the church members are really kind and generous. Early November, I was able to attend a church in Kyoto, one that I found online before I came to Japan. The vision and mission of the church is quite similar to my home church in Manila. The people are also very friendly. I could freely speak about my faith in God with them. The only problem is the location which was 1.5-2 hours away from Ayabe. Sharing breakthroughs with people face to face is really essential to my spiritual growth. So I aim to visit the church once or twice a month. I entrust God the expensive and long train rides. I also wish to improve my Japanese so I could speak with more Japanese people.
These churches were answered prayers. I am grateful that God not only connected me to one church but two. I am so excited to build friendships with the people, grow, and serve Him through the church.
And last but not the least...
"Thank you for your presence always."
I know that I am not alone because I have God. I am not lonely because I can easily talk to Him wherever I go. I see His steadfast love and faithfulness in all things.
"And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13, NKJV
Transcending 2019 doesn't happen in a year. In fact, my transcendent phase in Japan has only just begun. I look forward to more growth and change. I also claim that this year is a time to reap the seeds we have sown in the past decade--deeper intimacy with God, love shared in the family, friendships built through the years, passions cultivated, health restored, career and mission paths chosen, personalities and hearts shaped. At the end of every year, we strive for things that are eternal rather than temporary.
To be honest, I am entering this new year without any clear steps. I don't know what will happen. I am not sure of anything. But I trust God. I have faith in Him. Though He will lead me to the unknown, He will lay out an #Unimaginable2020 before my eyes.
I decree that an abundant harvest is waiting for us. Let's reap with faith and joy!
Happy New Year!
Transcending and Grateful,
K
"Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust Him along the way you'll find He pulled it off perfectly." Psalm 37:5 (The Passion Translation)
Last last Sunday's preaching in my home church was all about gratefulness. It was also the same thing that God was teaching me throughout the year. I started to reflect about the past year/s on my birthday last October. A friend suggested that I create a gratitude list. As my way of saying goodbye to 2019, I wanted to share my "Thank You"s to God and hopefully, whoever's reading will also think of their own and be in a spirit of thanksgiving.
"Thank you for giving me wings."
At an altar call during last year's prayer and fasting, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the stage to stand in faith that I am called to go to the nations. For the very first time in my life, I was sure. On March, I embarked on a journey towards Japan, the country that I have loved dearly since I was born. I experienced a lot of firsts--first time to be separated from my family for a long time, first time to set foot on Kyoto, first time to live independently, including renting an apartment, paying for my bills and expenses, doing all the cleaning, groceries, cooking, and laundry all by myself. I even invested on cultivating my green thumb. Living independently was extremely challenging. But I learned a lot about adulting that made me become a better version of myself. In God, I found wisdom and strength amidst the hardships and homesickness. It was like living out Isaiah 40:31:
"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." (NLT)
"Thank you for the gift of teaching and sending me to Japan."
God is now reminding me of the promises and purposes for me in Japan. Many times I wonder how this journey will turn out. Sometimes I wonder about my home country. Is it okay to leave the Philippines? Am I using what I have learned in special education, reading education, and MA extensively? Then I always find myself going back to Abram's story when he said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that later became his home:
"Now the Lord had said to Abram (Kaye)
'Get out of your country,
From your family
And from your father's house,
To a land that I will show you,
I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
And you shall be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.'"
Genesis 12:1-3
I may just be a foreigner and stranger in Japan (Genesis 17:8) but He can use me wherever He has placed me. I am teaching in a new environment where I could learn, relearn, and unlearn things. Nothing is wasted because all will make sense in the end. I love being a Filipino in Japan and I love the Philippines. I believe God has a greater purpose why He brought me out of it and He sees my obedience to Him.
I believe that the place of calling is not limited to where a person was born or raised. In fact, God brings us to new places where He transforms our lives and uses us to manifest His glory. When He has given us a land to possess, whether in a form of a new workplace, business, or home, take the great leap of faith and claim it. This is a rare opportunity in a timely season to grow and be used by God.
"Thank you for making the world small."
I appreciate technology more when I moved abroad. My family, friends, and I communicated through different social networking sites and apps. Nothing beats talking in person. But the timely audio and video calls helped ease the loneliness and fear-of-missing-out (FOMO).
I am really thankful for the short distance between Japan and the Philippines. I didn't expect that I would be able to go home twice this year. God surprised me with cheap flights last summer. Take note: July to August is a perfect time to search for low fares to and from Japan. It's also another way to escape the scorching summer heat. Another blessing is when my parents were also able to visit me. Though they visited separately, we were able to spend quality time. They were able to see my apartment and the community I lived in, visited some tourist spots, and met my new friends. All God-ordained.
"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him," 1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)
"Thank you for the divine appointments."
The divine appointments throughout the year were all laid out beautifully. I met people from different parts of the world, became involved in organisations within the community, and developed good relationships with my co-teachers and students.
During my eight months here in Japan, one of the beautiful things that God has done is that He has given me a new spiritual family in Kyoto. I first discovered a Protestant church in Ayabe. Though the preachings were entirely in Japanese, the church members are really kind and generous. Early November, I was able to attend a church in Kyoto, one that I found online before I came to Japan. The vision and mission of the church is quite similar to my home church in Manila. The people are also very friendly. I could freely speak about my faith in God with them. The only problem is the location which was 1.5-2 hours away from Ayabe. Sharing breakthroughs with people face to face is really essential to my spiritual growth. So I aim to visit the church once or twice a month. I entrust God the expensive and long train rides. I also wish to improve my Japanese so I could speak with more Japanese people.
These churches were answered prayers. I am grateful that God not only connected me to one church but two. I am so excited to build friendships with the people, grow, and serve Him through the church.
And last but not the least...
"Thank you for your presence always."
I know that I am not alone because I have God. I am not lonely because I can easily talk to Him wherever I go. I see His steadfast love and faithfulness in all things.
"And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13, NKJV
Transcending 2019 doesn't happen in a year. In fact, my transcendent phase in Japan has only just begun. I look forward to more growth and change. I also claim that this year is a time to reap the seeds we have sown in the past decade--deeper intimacy with God, love shared in the family, friendships built through the years, passions cultivated, health restored, career and mission paths chosen, personalities and hearts shaped. At the end of every year, we strive for things that are eternal rather than temporary.
To be honest, I am entering this new year without any clear steps. I don't know what will happen. I am not sure of anything. But I trust God. I have faith in Him. Though He will lead me to the unknown, He will lay out an #Unimaginable2020 before my eyes.
I decree that an abundant harvest is waiting for us. Let's reap with faith and joy!
Happy New Year!
Transcending and Grateful,
K
"Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust Him along the way you'll find He pulled it off perfectly." Psalm 37:5 (The Passion Translation)
Remember November
Sunday, December 1, 2019I often wonder what’s next in this phase now that I am in the land that I have been dreaming about for a long time. God...
Sunday, December 1, 2019
I often wonder what’s next in this phase now that I am in the land that I have been dreaming about for a long time.
God made one big dream
come true. But it doesn’t end here, right? 2019 is about to end and the question of "How will you spend your last month this year?" still has no answer.
But God doesn’t work with limitations.
In 2015, I traveled to
Hakone with my family. I remembered this verse during one of my reflections.
Wait on the
Lord in expectant faith right now. Keep your eyes above, lift your eyes to the
hills for where does your help come from? It comes from the Maker of Heaven and
Earth Psalm 121 (ESV)
"They who
wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings
like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not
faint." Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)
Waiting. This is one of the hardest part of life. We all face a waiting game everyday. Sometimes we wait for a short time and some takes months and years. There is one thing that I am sure of when waiting.
God is not finished
yet.
I am not staying on
the same page. I am just being prepared for the next.
My transcendent
phase in Japan has just begun. And the events will only be known to me as they
unfold.
Whether they unfold beautifully or not, these events are
beneficial to my growth. They are teaching me to glorify God in everything, and
reminding me that this life is not my own but for Him to use in Kingdom purposes.
During my eight months
here in Japan, one of the beautiful things that God has done in my life is give me a new spiritual family here in Kyoto. I first found a Japanese Protestant church in Ayabe. Though I couldn't understand the preachings in this church, the people there are really kind and generous. Early November, I was able to attend Lifehouse Kyoto, a church that I found even before I came to Japan. The only problem is the location which was far from Ayabe. The people there are similar to my home church in Victory/Every Nation. I could easily speak about my faith in God with them. I really think speaking to people about God
face to face is really beneficial to my spiritual growth. I really wish to improve my Japanese so I could speak with Japanese Christians too who couldn't speak English. These churches have been an answered prayer after months of praying
before I came to Japan. I am grateful that He not only gave me one church but two.
In these two translations of 1 Corinthians 2:9, I am reminded of God's amazing plans and how He will carry every plan into completion.
Things never discovered or heard
of before,
things beyond our ability to
imagine—
these are the many things God
has in store
for all his lovers.
1 Corinthians 2:9 (TPT)
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”
1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)
God is really amazing. He knows what we need in every season.
