Christianity
Faith
Thrive, Not Just Survive
11:37:00 PM
I know I am a planner. I always have an eye for the future even way ahead of people my age and I have always created a definite path to go. But lately, the path seemed to go unclear, a cold thick fog surrounds me, different directions appeared, some closed already, and then I still found myself standing in the middle unsure of everything.
I am already twenty three but I felt like I am thirteen again. I feel so lost.
I haven't really had the guts to tell myself and the people close to me that I am not okay. I'm not alright. I kept telling that it's okay but it's not really. Today, I burst out. Let me tell you how I feel in Switchfoot's "Thrive":
Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?
I've been awake for an hour or so
Checking for a pulse but I just don't know
Am I a man if I feel like a ghost?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes
No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive
No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive
I come alive when I hear you singing
But lately I haven't been hearing a thing
I get the feeling that I'm in between
A machine and a man who only looks like me
I try and hide it and not let it show
But deep down inside me I just don't know
Am I a man if I feel like a hoax?
The stranger in the mirror's been wearing my clothes
No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive
No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive
I get so down, but I won't give up
I get so down, but I won't give up
I get so down, but I won't give up
Been fighting things that I can't see
Been fighting things that I can't see
A machine or a man who only looks like me
Thrive, thrive, thrive, yeaah, thrive
No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive
No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive
I'm sure this is just a phase. I am down right now. But I will not give up. The Lord spoke to me, "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habbakuk 2:3
Lord, you are my Rock. Strengthen me now. Help me thrive, not just survive.
2 comments
Ah bad trip binura ng Blogspot yung comment ko. Geez.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, sometimes we do feel like we're not takinf the path we're supposed to be taking, but take comfort in God na hindi ka niya hahayaan. :D It's our choice whether to allow ourselves to be taken up by God if we're not in the path that's created for us, or to go on with what we think is our path. Sabi na nga rin sa Habakkuk, God will not delay. :D
Also, I'm like you. I like to think I'm okay all the time, pero sa totoo lang, hindi healthy yun. We have to be honest of our weaknesses and shortcomings so that God will help us deal with it. :D You're a strong woman, and God created you that way. But it doesn't mean you can't accept that you aren't okay. Lesson learned ko yan buong 4th year college ko. Matinding sapakan rin ang natamo ko from God. Haha!
Love you, Kaye! Mag-date naman tayo. :)
Thank you for this comment, Ella. Na-inspire ako. And yes, God is always on time. There's really a purpose why I am at this stage. :D
ReplyDeleteLove you too! And yes, tara, magdate tayo. Text mo lang ako.