Source: photographyofthoughts.wordpress.com

For six years of teaching, I have been carrying my hobbies along with me. My hobbies are photography, writing, reading, listening to music, and traveling. I call them hobbies for they are not included in my job description as a teacher.

Finding a job that involves my hobbies is possible. There is a possibility to take job of a writer and photographer for a travel or music magazine. That can be so much fun! But I think that would not be my calling. I cannot leave teaching for good just because I want to pursue them. I am actually contented with the fact that I could do them whenever I please even though I could not be paid for them.

I am reminded of the reasons why I should not give up on my hobbies. Learning from my dad who is a hobbyist too, I go back to them whenever I want to. They are like places to escape to and hide in. I once wrote a blog about keeping the things that bring joy, Resonating with Walter Mitty (Not Secretly). Do not ever lose the things that bring you joy. For if you do, you'll end up looking for pieces that make up yourself. Do not sacrifice it for the sake of your job. Because once you get home and you want to relax, they are the ones you will end up doing.

This blog, I AM A-O-KAYE is actually a major example of a place wherein all my hobbies jive: writing, photography, reading, listening to music, and traveling. Whenever I travel, I usually take photos and I write about them. I also write about my experience listening to my favorite band/s. Sometimes, I write about what I've learned from a book or an event. Like many bloggers and writers, I do not earn from this. But I do not worry much about it.

Rommel Bundalian, a Fujifilm photographer stated, "Shoot not for others to like. Shoot for yourself." It's the same in writing. Write not for others to read. Write for yourself. It doesn't mean your writing has no purpose. You write because of your passion instead of your desire to catch attention or please people. Keep on writing even though your work is still amateur or no one reads your work. Everything gets better over time. It just begins with writing for the sake of your love for it.

When I was in elementary, my major hobby was writing poems and stories and drawing about them. The topics were crappy because they were mostly about love, family, and animals. Those writings would not make articles and books. But I wrote anyway. In high school, I joined the school newspaper. Though I quit the year after, I still enjoyed all activities that involved writing. On my third year, I wrote on my English workbook that I wanted to be a writer. My English teacher, who happened to be a rockstar and one of my favorites, told me that I should. I tore the paper out of the workbook and kept it. When senior year came, I signed up for Journalism which eventually led me to a spot in the Yearbook Team. Then, college was a time for me to mature in writing. I wrote about God a lot. I still wrote some crappy poems about love and school. But I think what I enjoyed most was writing about Him. I still do. Academic writing always get in the way though. Thesis it!

Writing is merely a hobby to me right now. I couldn't even call myself a good writer. But if I will have to turn it into a dream, I envision myself getting better at it and making a difference through it. Though I cannot give up teaching entirely, I think writing can still connect to teaching. They say teachers make good writers as well. We'll see.

If God wills these hobbies to turn into a career, then all I need to do is obey and use them in a larger scale for His glory.

There are beautiful stories behind the songs in Switchfoot's 10th album, Where the Light Shines Through. A few of the beautiful stories have already been shared in switchfoot.com/journal. Aside from those stories, I believe every listener also has his/her own story or reflections about the songs as well. So here I am writing how the songs spoke to me. I do not have a deep knowledge on technicality and musicality but I am a big fan of words. And words have a transformative power in a song.

I read the story behind the first track Holy Water. To me, what Jon said about it is true. Indeed, it is rock and roll in a welcome party. When I heard it for the first time, I thirsted for more. I wanted to hear the rest of the album. It is where it should be. It is a good start. "Hold the old me down. Give me the waters that could help me heal."

Float is a life dance. I was drawn to the song when I heard the story about Jon Foreman's friend who was serving the victims of ISIS and other sources of violence in Iraq. I was even more touched when they came here for an intimate concert and shot the music video in my home country, the Philippines. Amidst suffering, this is how we respond. We smile. We dance. We float. This kind of response does not entail oblivion. But it encourages us that we can rise above our hardships and be freed from them. "I'm in orbit like a jet pilot. Ain't no gravity to try to fight it. It's how we float, yeah. We ain't never coming down."

Where The Light Shines Through is one of the first songs in this album that I listened to (Thanks to the preorder releases). This title track was the demo version of the song. It sounds amazing! It shows what they can offer as a band---talent, passion, music, scars, and all. I am even more awed by the message of the song. A scarred state is an ugly state. But in this song, it makes us see our scars as dark stars. It is a reminder to expose those callused parts of us and let the light shines through them. "Ain't we all just Abraham's sons? Saint and sinner with the song and drum? And falling on our knees, we all bleed the same. And the only tattoos that I have are scars. I got your name written on my heart. And the story that brought us here ain't the thing I'd change, no." This song is the core of the album.

I Won't Let You Go is a love song. This speaks about the doubts and fears that surface between two lives or between a person and God. But aside from those doubts and fears, it also speaks about trust and hope in each other. It is promising. "There ain't no darkness strong enough that could tear you out from my heart. There ain't no strength that's strong enough that could tear this love apart. Never gonna let you go. No I won't let you go."

If The House Burns Down Tonight is an ignition. It starts with a mellow voice from Jon, carries the band into an upbeat motion, and explodes into fire. The message is simple: "Ashes from the flames, the truth is what remains." 

The Day That I Found God is an entry to a diary. It is pure and honest. It is something that is first written and sung in a quiet, secluded place. When I listened to it, it made me look around in my room where I had encountered God a million times. It illustrates the times of wrestling and losing the fight but ending up finding God in the process. "And all I know is that I still don't know a lot. I don't know how it ends I'm in the middle of this plot. Yeah and I found grace for the man that I am not."

Heart and start are two words echoing in Shake This Feeling. In times when everything is falling apart, the heart gets broken. Then there is always that desire to start all over again. It is not easy to shake off that feeling. This is why I feel like this song is a desperate wish. "We both started with a broken heart. Admit there's a problem that's a start. And I want to start healing, healing."

The first thing I noticed about Bull In A China Shop is its striking title. It is the funkiest song in the album. At first, it does not make sense to me. What is a bull doing in a China Shop? But then, I remember the cries of the youth. "I want peace and all I got's this war. I want wings and all I got's this floor. I want a shot of what I'm aiming for. Coming in hot but they block this door. So bring me the music for the revolution. I'm singing for more than just a dead solution." I may be wrong. I may still be a bull.

Live It Well is a life mantra. If I can put it on my face everyday to inspire people, I will. "Life is short. I want to live it well. I got one life and one love. I got one voice. But maybe that's enough. 'Cause with one heartbeat and two hands to give. I got one shot. One life to live."

Looking For America is a wake-up call. I am not a U.S. citizen nor am I an American, yet I get the message. America needs plenty change. Switchfoot is sending a distinct message across its people: "America, who are you? Is God still on your side? I want to see a nation rise above the fear and fight that haunts these streets tonight." I feel like throwing this question as well, "Philippines, who are you?"

Healer of Souls is an invitation to home. "We're going down the road gonna find your place at the healer of souls. We're gonna watch these scars just fade away, we're gonna make it home." It tells us that we desire something. But we are all running from our problems. We are limping down the road. We cannot make it home without the Healer of Souls.

Hope Is The Anthem is THE anthem. It is uplifting and it exposes the words of the soul. It asks us to ruminate. Who is your heartbeat? Who is your oxygen? Who is your banner, your home? Who is your future, your song? Where do you get hope? We must find out for whom our hearts beat and identify where our hopes are anchored on. In dark times, who/what is the source of our hopes? "My heart is beating like a blown speaker. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weaker. A distortion pedal and a pair of wings. And an anthem played on broken strings." It discloses the message of the whole album. Hope is the anthem of our souls.

The three bonus tracks were equally as good as the 12 tracks in this album.

I first heard Light And Heavy from an acoustic session of Jon Foreman online a few years ago. It is a weighty song. It comes out raw and personal. "On my pilgrimage, I'm traveling light with a heavy heart." To me, the light and dark moments in life are inevitable. But we do not stop looking for answers. We still hope.

Begin Forever is a reminder to go for our dreams. "It's never too late to try. It's never too late to finally find a way to make it right. " This song makes me smile. (:

When Was The Last Time is an intriguing question. This chorus says it all:"When was the last time that you felt alive? Singing when was the last time that you tried something for the first time? And let go."

Like any Switchfoot album, the songs deliver words of truth and encouragement amidst tough times. The problems of the people in our world do not change. They are the same issues that take up many forms year after year. To be able to sing about these issues is a strength of the band. Every song invites us to heal, to dream, to fight, to seek, and to hope in this broken world.

We may not have the same thoughts on this album. But we may have to agree that this band have tasted the dark and the light. The songs of hope that they sing every night are evidences of these. This new album is for every person who have gone through or is going through the same. 

The Logitech speakers that I won from the Vice Verses Twitter Contest (2011) is still alive. It launched WTLST with an amazing sound.

This year, God gave us a wonderful blessing. Mom and Dad bought a land and built a house on a hill in Puerto Princesa, Palawan. The view of the house is overlooking a magnificent, painting-like view of a bay. Underneath the blue skies and enormous clouds, yachts are floating in the sea in alternating motions. It is definitely a beauty to behold. It is God's gift to Mom.

On the night of our arrival from Manila, we were supposed to go home to eat and rest a bit. Then we would ride a rented van to El Nido. However, the passing "hanging habagat" stopped us from pursuing our plans. So we just decided to spend our days in Puerto Princesa and look for alternatives.

Actually, the whole trip was PalaEWAN for three reasons. EWAN as in ''hindi ko alam'' talaga. I meant this not in a negative way, okay? Uncertainty is good. ((:

1) The house was a surprise.

Mom already showed us some pictures of the house before. But it was beyond my imagination. The house was a confirmation that she was indeed a frustrated architect, carpenter, and engineer. I'm not kidding. She really did a good job. Though the house was clearly not finished yet and there were still some tweakings to be done, I am assured that the outcome would be beautiful. It was a beautiful work in progress. It blends in Palawan.

My darkest battles in life are rooted in fear. I feared that time is too short. I feared that I would not be good enough. I feared that I would lose a friend. I feared that I would not be able to get through without a job. I feared to live alone. And the list goes on.

Two years have already passed since I started studying about my thesis topic for my Master's (MA). I changed my mind a hundred times. But I ended up making a 180 degree turn, scrapping everything off and starting again.

Studying while working was so difficult. I felt like I am going crazy when I still had to attend to my life after work. I had to go to night time classes and go home late. I also had to write my papers and reports and study for exams in the wee hours of the night in order to get by. Even though my mind was swirling in different places, I had to present in front of my teachers and classmates. I tried my best to keep my mind sane. I could not give up work because I needed to pay my own tuition fees. I also invested on two virus-free laptops in which one already broke down. I knew that it would help me write my thesis despite my salary being cut down in half every month for an entire year.

I questioned myself several times about whether I should teach or study in order to concentrate on one. Come the time last month when I finally decided to let go of work for a few months. Now, I am broke. I stay home most of the time. Taking hold of my time is a dream. But it is also a nightmare in some days. Because I still live with my parents and siblings, I am entitled to help out in the household chores. There are a lot of times when I have to do chores instead of work on my thesis. Several times a day, I wish to be casted away in a quiet and lonesome place whenever I want to concentrate on my writing. Most of the time, I had my freedom to write in my favorite college libraries. Not that I don't want to help (one of my top love languages is service), I just feel like I really need to finish now so I won't have to prolong it. My parents keep asking me why it is taking so long. Well, this is why it is. I am preoccupied and distracted with so many things.

But I know that life beyond what I am currently doing is harder. Because of God's grace alone, I am able to stay alive. Instead of merely complaining, I begin to be thankful for how steadfast and faithful God's love is for me. Who would have the opportunity to travel cities, states, and countries, and continents while finishing MA with most expenses paid? Who would have the luxury to stay in my parents' house at this age and add the fact that they already sent me to school for 15 years? Who would have faithful and supportive family and friends who always give words of wisdom and help me in making difficult life decisions? Whenever I feel like complaining, I remember God's Word.

 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." -1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV

God is testing me every time He sends responsibilities such as work and chores. He is moulding my character for bigger and greater responsibilities in the future wherein I have to multi-task. I have to know how to keep my cool and deliver well despite the anxiety and stress. In spite of my weaknesses and other people's weaknesses, I am able to do above and beyond what anyone could ever imagine.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

So how am I going to attain success in this journey? Through God's strength, I draw strength from. Through God's grace, I am able to forgive others and even myself for my shortcomings and failures. Through God's reprimands, I correct my actions. Through God's power, I welcome and withstand the difficulties that my life brings. Through God's faithfulness, I believe. A successful journey can only be attained through God. He is the same before, now, and forever. His promise is being fulfilled.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest." Exodus 14:14

I ask, believe, and not doubt God (James 1:5-6) to continue to go before me. I will choose to follow His timeline more than my own or others'. The journey will not take too long or too short but just right. And whatever comes, I believe that He will uplift and provide me with peace and rest.

The most important thing is that I feel Him within me and I could see Him glorified in my life when this research journey has come to an end.

That is enough to know and receive.

Standing on a long concrete bench away from the stage but elevated high and clear enough to see the whole band, I began to wonder about my purpose in life. In the middle of the concert, my introvert blues were rising.

Despite being a huge Switchfoot fan, I was supposed to be ticketless and a loner. But something inside urged me to simply ask Church Simplified. It was already a few days before the concert. Still, I knew that I would not lose anything. All I needed was to ask. Lo and behold, shirts were still available. I asked one of my best friends to come with me and she agreed. It also turned out that my church family, old and new, were there to share their love for the band as well.

Buying tickets is not for the sake of getting a good, up-close, and personal look of the band on stage. You can simply listen to their songs in the radio, in your music player, or even in the world wide web. Pictures, mp3s, and videos of the band are everywhere. You can even study the lyrics of their songs, dig deep, and sing your heart out in your own cave.

But you see, a Switchfoot concert isn't any ordinary rock concert. Truly, Jon, Chad, Drew, Jerome, and Tim have excellent skills in music and they mess up their playlists based on the crowd they play for. They connect to the audience and they carry their show from there. In every concert, they perform above and beyond what we can imagine. Each one is different is from the other. But amidst all of these, they are deeply grounded in their faith. God is present in their concert. I don't know about you but I see not only the band's excellence in music. I feel God in them. The way they connect to their fans before or after a concert is beyond real. They're truly the nicest musicians in the industry. If you open your eyes and let your ears hear, you will feel it too. The beautiful words that are embedded in their songs speak of a life worth fighting for. And this is why watching them live makes a whole lot difference. It is worth it to come out of your cave and see and listen to them live.


As I looked at the people who were going after Jon in the crowd, I pondered about how I live life when I step out of the amphitheatre and return to reality. Am I like the crowd who goes after a dream head on and filled with so much passion and joy? Or am I the one who watches a dream in a distance, stable, sure, and filled with the same passion and joy? Who I am I supposed to be?

I watched smiling at Jon and the crowd and pondering on the thought. Getting close to the members of the band is a dream come true. Typically, a huge fan would desire to be in their places. As for me, I didn't. It was definitely not because I've already met them twice in the past and talked to each one of them. But on that moment, it seemed as if seeing and hearing from afar was enough. It was not a superficial thing. I knew everything was all real. The dream was happening right there. And I was in joy. It was surprisingly a selfless act. How and when did my heart change? It's a mystery.

The songs will continue to speak to me about life for sure. I will continue to explore and find the answers to my questions despite the uncertainty. I choose to dive into the process of finding it out. I'll keep hoping and believing. Like what Jon said, "Hope is anchored on the other side." We don't stop living in this earth. Our lives don't stop midway. The other side lives and saves all, especially for those who believe.


Maybe all these questions arise from an unfinished situation that drives me to look for answers. Or maybe I was meant to be an answer to someone else's question. Whether I fail to make meaning or make sense of it all, I choose to thrive in this life.


The best part in thriving is that I am not on my own. Yes, the band and their songs are always there to speak words of hope. But it's also about sharing your life with people that the band has touched as well. It was actually in Switchfoot concerts wherein I let myself out. I was less fearful, more confident, and braver. I made friends with people whom I never intended to interact with. And most of their friendships are still in the present tense. I believe that when something great is shared between people, it has a bigger chance of lasting forever. The Friends of the Foot is one of those. We all have the same questions about living.


I think I will never know the real answers to my queries. But I did something that meant a lot to me tonight. Before the concert came to a complete halt, I finally decided to leave the concrete bench to come closer to the stage and join the fun. It was as if I was making a decision to leave everything behind and nail my doubts and fears on that Cross. Goodbye, Concrete Girl. It was time to come alive.

With the Truth living in me, there is a reason to come alive. I will thrive wherever and whenever I go. Whether in highs and lows, in shallow waters and depths, I will continue to sing along and land on shores I've never been before.


When I get there, I will find Hope. When I get there, I will find Life.

"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13


Thank you for reigniting the fire in me, Switchfoot. I promise to continue dreaming and reaching forward.

'Til we meet again.

Last year, I know God was building up my character and my relationship with Him. He wanted me to put Him first above all. He placed me in my rightful position, right by His side, close to listen and slow to act on my own. Every move, I glided with Him. I flew toward greater things with Him.

In this blog, I share some of the most greatest realizations during my adventures with God.

COMMUNICATE.
Express yourself. Nicely. Respectfully. Talk with love. Be slow to anger.

CONTROL YOUR MONEY.
Do not let your money control you. Live within your means.

GIVE GENEROUSLY.
The greatest expression of love is to give. Give with your whole heart. Give without expecting anything in return.

LOVE BRAVELY.
In perfect love, there is no fear. (1 John) To love is to love like Jesus. Do not give in to hatred and anger.

FOLLOW GOD'S TIMELINE.
Everything is in God's hands. Make no room for worry. God is the beginning and the end. If you know the beginning and the end, anything in the middle is easy. Therefore, God knows everything from the beginning up to the end. Wait on His beautiful time.

These are just some of the learning points but these were the most important ones. I'm certain that God has more in store for me this year. He is steadfast and faithful.