One thing that I'm very worried about is leaving pets at home while traveling. Separation Anxiety (SepAnx) kicks in. I think most animal lovers can relate to this. It hurts me to see those puppy dog eyes, to hear those loud tweets, to watch those graceful strokes, and to feel and hear those lovely purrs before heading out for a day or a week.

"Do they get sad or lonely without us?"

I wondered if pets get really sad when we leave them behind. Based on my observation and research, they get sad. Some pets even get depressed. They stay near things with familiar smell of their owners. Or they look out of a window and wait for their owners' arrival. I am just blessed that our pets have not experienced extreme loneliness. But of course, little signs of loneliness and extreme excitement show whenever we reunite with them. Some fishes surprisingly die when my parents, especially my Dad, travels abroad. But I am so thankful that this has not happened to our bigger animals.

Kois

Totoro and Ratatou

Finches

Sachi

Yuki

Glad to be Back (the morning after he returned from an uninformed day trip)

:P

Big-eyed Jiji getting anxious

Sleeping on my foot the night before we left for Japan

I already thought about putting a pet in a travel crate. But I have never tried it. A few months ago, I was looking for a travel crate for my cat Jiji because I wanted her cage to serve a double purpose: Land and Air Travel. Luckily, I didn't have to buy any because my Dad bought a pink (so girly) travel crate for her last month. We usually use it when we make a visit to the veterinarian clinic. However, pets traveling by air can cost a lot. They even need microchips in order to travel from one country to another. One Datamars microchip costs around $39.50 (P1861.93). It requires a lifetime registration based on this Pet Travel Store. There is no need for this yet but it helps a lot if pets get lost.

I also wondered how our pets would react when my family and I would come back from a trip. We actually witnessed the difference between our pets' welcome greetings when we came home from Japan. Our dogs greeted us excitedly with their tails wagging and their paws touching our legs. Our cat, on the other hand, did not welcome us back with open arms. She avoided us and walked straight to her drinking bowl instead. When I lifted her up and carried her in my arms, she didn't budged but she looked at us with wide eyes and acted as if we were total strangers. When I released her on the floor, she sniffed our luggages and played with the straps and tags. She only started licking our hands and feet when she finished roaming around our things. She even gave Mom a scratch on the face due to her anxiety. She obviously missed us and felt lonely but couldn't show her feelings outwardly. The way a cat warms up to its owner is totally different from a dog's way. Cats are totally introverts while dogs are outrageously extroverts!

The language of animals is very difficult to read. It is similar to reading a person. But this is good because I am learning to be selfless through supporting and taking care of others and keeping a relationship healthy and intact. I feel like I have a child to take care of and converse with, and a companion to say goodbye and go back to every single day.

So I guess I am writing this blog to assure myself that SepAnx is AOK. Missing our pets and allowing them to miss us once in awhile have advantages too. Anxiety will surely occur for sure. But the owners and their pets absolutely need the separation or "some space." It is part of the owner-pet relationship, okay? Okay.

Last month, I have been thinking about my career in the next few years. After completing my thesis and graduating, what am I to do next? Should I continue teaching where I am at? Or should I teach in special education centers or schools? Should I pursue doing social work and teaching or developing programs for communities? I do not have any idea.

Then I came upon this quote from Malala Yousafzai in the United Nations Facebook page.

Source: UN Facebook page

I believe in this quote. I believe in a child. I also believe in myself that I can teach. It was not an obvious career to take though. I was not the brightest kid in my classes. I was not even chosen as a student teacher. But I knew deep down that I have the heart of a teacher and a great influence from a great family of teachers. When I was little, I would act out as a teacher, holding the chalk or whiteboard marker and standing in front of a room ready to teach a lesson. My students were my cousins or my family. I just could not remember what I was teaching or if it made sense. So being a teacher grew into a dream before I graduated from high school. I wanted to take Elementary Education major in Special Education in order to make a difference. However, it took 2 years before I was able to transfer from Manila to Diliman. Still, I was so blessed to know what I really wanted to do then.

The dream became a reality. 2015 marks my fifth year of teaching. Within those years, I have taught in 3 schools, 1 ESL online tutoring firm, and 1 reading tutorial center. Though I truly love what I do, I can't help but ask myself if this is really what I want to do in the following years to come. But every time I recall the reason why I'm teaching and the calling that God gave me, I always change my mind.

One question was left for me and my co-teachers to answer during the first week of classes last July. This was the question:

WHAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE

WITH TEACHING?

It seems like a tough question to answer. But here are my answers to the question:

In teaching, you will never stop learning. You will surely get tired of teaching. But you will never get tired of learning from them and from your experiences. The art of teaching involves all areas. You are a performer when you teach. You use various skills. Though there is a tendency to become a master of none, teaching is an art itself that consists of a set of skills that you can master simultaneously with your heart, mind, and body. It God is a great example of a true teacher. He is my inspiration.

Changing the world can be done by reaching one child at a time. Being part of a village that has a huge heart for children is already making a difference. I truly believe that it takes a village to raise a child. I am blessed to be a part of a village in church and at work.

Now, I am going back to the questions I proposed in the beginning.  I think I already have an idea. I keep teaching. And I will do it wherever this heart of a teacher takes me.

Our trip to Japan was a Faith Goal that I have been praying for years. I faithfully prayed for it this year and believed that God would make it happen. He did at the right time and season. We were able to find tickets last May to witness an early fall. The amazing thing was we got very cheap airline tickets! We just needed to a few hundred pesos for our luggages. We instantly knew that it was a gift from God to our family. A box was ticked off my bucket list. Moreover, I knew that it was an early birthday gift from God: A time for a new season and a new beginning.

Japan has been very close to my family's heart. We even called it home for a few years when we visited my Daddy twice in 1989 and 1990-1991. He was still studying in Tokyo University at that time.

Somewhere in time (1980s)

Aside from visiting my friends, we even met one of Dad's disciples, Tito Joel Cuellar, who became a missionary in Japan with his family.

At Shibuya (October, 2013)

Fortunately, Dad and I had another opportunity to return with Mommy, Paul, and Luke. Instead of three or four, there's five of us now. We even met the whole family of Tito Joel this time. We all clicked right away!

At Setagaya-ku (October 2015) From UL to R: Dad, Paul, Luke, Tim, Nathan, Tito Joel; From LL to R: Me, Tita Cynthia, Mom, & Johana

I sought God during our whole trip because I knew He would be revealing to us many things. Here are five Bible verses that made me fall deeper for God and for Japan during our 6 days and 5 nights stay in Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo. Though these are not exactly touristy, I want to share the Word of God that I received during our time in this country.

1) 2 Thessalonians 3


The message of the Lord will spread rapidly. It will not just spread. It is not slow but rapid, like a fire that consumes almost everything it passes. The line in the verse in which I felt God's protection over us is: "We are delivered from wicked and evil men for not everyone has faith." God was with us throughout the trip. Even though we already know that Japan is one of the safest countries in the world, we remained strong and protected throughout the trip and even on our way home. More importantly, God honed us a family and made us prepared for the struggles that we would face back home.


One thing also reminded me about our family. Despite our differences, our hearts will be directed into God's love and His perseverance. Therefore, we are able to love one another unconditionally because He has loved us. I also want to claim this verse as a promise of God in our family. May He continue to use us mightily to advance His Kingdom, to transform our hearts and minds, and to bring us out of our comfort zones in order to boldly share the Gospel.


2) Mark 5:34



A few months ago, I received this verse from God when I realized how grave my feelings for someone were. I immediately knew that I was losing focus on God and that I needed answers if I was investing the right feelings on the right person. It was a perfect time because the pain became bearable. But this time, reading about the story behind this verse made my understanding deeper. God healed my heart and restored my emotional state, like the Woman with an Issue of Blood, because I came at his feet, I trembled with fear, and I told Him the whole truth (Mark 5:21-34). Because of those, I received the power of God and I was freed from my suffering. It did not occur all at once but the process was easier.



However, I could not say that the process of letting go and letting God was not hard either. I was still crying my heart out at times. But I claimed God's healing and reminded myself about His greater plans for me. My family was a great blessing because I could replace the past with new and joyful memories. I am even excited for the future that will unfold before my eyes soon.



When I arrived in Manila, I felt that my heart was new and transformed like bread tossed in flames and came out baked. There was no other way to get healed. One can attain restoration and healing through God alone.
3) Exodus 34:6-7


I believe that His love for all of us fills His infinite being with limitless capacity for compassion. He is a compassionate God. His unfailing love for us, His agape love, is performed on behalf of us. We are the object of His love. In His eyes, true compassion is strength that is shared.


As a person who desperately needs compassion from God, I must also know that His compassion is greater than my vision for myself. Like me, most people insist on what they want from God. And at times, He will force His own vision in order to overrule the visions that we think we need. In other words, He can even give us more than what we need. He does not only give sympathy but He also shows His compassion for us by allowing certain hardships in order to give way to greater miracles in our lives. This is His great act of compassion.




4) John 11:33


During the plane ride to Manila, the story of Jesus weeping made me weep. Jesus is a man of sorrows. I found myself thinking why did the Bible use weep instead of cry? To weep is to shed tears with deeper and stronger emotions. He did not even cry. He wept. The reason why He wept was because He absolutely knew what the woman was going through. Actually, the Word says he was deeply moved. It is the same with you and me when we experience grief. He is moved by our weeping. He weeps for us because He knows our grief. He will turn our weeping into shouts (or songs and dances!) of joy. But why?? Actually, he does not need to weep for you or me but He weeps anyway because He loves us so much. Now, ask yourself "Are we worth weeping for?" To Jesus, yes! But everything makes much more sense when we have come to know that Jesus is worth weeping for.


5) Psalm 30:5


God turns my mourning into dancing. I can dance because of His presence. Joy can be found in Him alone. As a source of our joy, we are able to find pieces of Him everywhere. These pieces can bring us joy: Family, life partner, children, calling, passion, and the simple and mundane things around us. They are not the ultimate sources of joy but we can find joy in them because we are filled with His abundant joy first.


The five beautiful verses strengthened my bond with God. He dated us there as a family. He dated me during our solo moments together. As much as I want to share all of our travel stories in Japan here in this blog, I will allow the pictures posted here and in Facebook to do so. Because no picture can justify His goodness, I will just keep on praising Him for what He has done not only to me and my family and to our beloved friends in Japan but to the people of all nations living in it. I am also excited about what He is about to do in the near future. Change is happening. We are coming into a shift.

October is always a time for new beginnings. Our trip was already a pre-celebration of what is about to come. I can say that this was the best birthday yet because of the greater faith that He has planted within me. More than that, I am receiving a deeper revelation of who He really is. My year was not only filled with joy. It was also filled with pain and suffering. But I am experiencing everything with the Lord. The beauty of living in joy and sadness made this year even more beautiful. I needed the darkness in order to remain in the Light. This year, I welcome both. (:

God has promised. My mourning ends here. This is when dancing begins for greater things are coming.

In Him, I fall deeper with joy.

During the saddest times, I usually write and put my feelings into prose. But sometimes, I cannot find the words. So I read the Bible and let God lead me to the perfect prose: His Word.

I am currently in a season of a door left open for years and now finally closing. God spoke to me through the verses below.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I heard and understood that He is sovereign over me. He is sovereign over my emotions. Because of this, I am now handling my emotions as if they are not highly important. The most important thing is that I am following His ways and I am at the center of His will. My emotions are merely tiny parts of the whole picture.

"Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about." Acts 1:4


God says wait for the gift He promised. He wants me to stay and stand my ground. Our current series in church talked about waiting being connected to faith. Each of us should develop strong faith. Waiting on Him seems like a daunting task especially if great things are coming. But having a highly established faith in Him makes waiting easy.

God promises in Matthew 21:21 to those who wait: "I tell you the truth if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to the mountain, 'Go throw yourself unto the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Like the apostles in Acts chapter 1, I was worried and even terrified. I asked too, "Will you restore me?" and "When will I be okay?" Then He answered in Acts 1:7-8.

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set in his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

I thought about the prophecy spoken to me that concern not only a certain part of my life but also my mission as a whole. God called me a witness and He planned to send me to places. What happened to the hope I had when I first heard it? Was it gone or set aside because of one earthly desire?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart, 
test me and know my anxious thoughts, 
See if there is any offensive way in me, 
and lead me to the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 23-24

God knows my heart. He wants to lead me to the eternal and not to the temporary. But like King Solomon, if I am facing something big, then I need a big God. I need Him more than ever.

I asked, "Give me now wisdom and knowledge.." 2 Chronicles 1:10

Then He promised, "Wisdom and knowledge is granted unto thee." 2 Chronicles 1:12

The same words He said to the sick woman in Mark 5:34, He said to me, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Because of God's grace and wisdom, this season is easy to bear. Setting aside how I feel, I am excited for the eternal glory that will far outweigh everything (2 Corinthians 4:17). Honestly, I am looking forward to what God will do next. Because He closed a door, I believe I am one step closer to the right door. Truly, there are so many great things to be excited about. The long-awaited opening of that door (or those doors!) are about to come.

As I wait in faith, I will keep on asking Him one thing. That is to receive Greater Faith.

I claim this verse as His reply:

"..since God had planned something better for me (us) so that only together with me (us) would they be made perfect." Hebrews 11:40

Someone told me this: A train is similar to life. As a passenger, we ride day in and day out in order to reach our destinations. With other passengers, we alight at different train stations. Sometimes, we get off at the same station because we have the same destination. Then we ride the train again and travel to different places. Sometimes, we return to a station and stay in this place for the rest of our lives. Or we stay in a place for a certain length of time and move to a different place together.

Comparing a train to life is a beautiful analogy to me. I believe there are four main beautiful points in this.

Train Operator

Whatever happens in our train rides, I believe there is someone or something that is influencing our decisions whether to alight from a train and stay in a place or move out and board a train.

When we pay for our train ticket and board the train, we must trust the train operator, the engineer, or the conductor to take us to where we want to go. The train operator knows the railroad better than anyone else. In our lives, God is the train operator, the engineer, or the conductor. We have to trust God to direct us to our destinations.

Meeting People

The best thing about traveling in trains is that God allows us to meet different people. He allows us to alight at different stations. Then He determines how long we will stay there whether hours or years. In each station, we will interact with different kinds of people. Some will choose to ride with us. Some will not. We may choose to stay with them. We may decide to part.


The choice is ours. The way we behave in a train and the actions we make toward others will determine the kind of life we will have. We may choose to sit or stand in our favorite spots engrossed in a book, a SmartPhone, and a pair of earphones. On the other hand, we may choose to sit wherever is available. We may also opt to give their seats to an older person, a disabled person, or a female. We may choose to engage a stranger beside us in a conversation as well.



Opportunities

Each station has a train schedule that we have to follow or else we will miss an opportunity. It may be an opportunity to meet a person, receive a blessing, witness an event, or experience something unforgettable. Or maybe, we will not miss any opportunity at all because we are not meant to grab it. It is only one of the options that we can choose from and a guide for us to discern the right direction to take.


Direction

Our inability to see the future is the reason why God needs to direct us. We may know where we want to go, how much it costs, and who we are with. But we do not know the full course of our train ride. But if we believe in the Train Operator, then there is no need to know everything. We must only trust Him that whenever we alight from a train and board a train, we will reach the best and the right destination for us.


Pondering on my life as a train ride, I wrote this simple prayer a few weeks ago.

"In this life, we are both boarding and alighting at different train stations. I hope that at one of my stations, whether my first, mid, or last, God will allow me to meet you there and He will send us to different stations until we reach our last station together."

I am talking about you whether you are a beloved family member, a good friend, a great co-worker, an amazing teacher, a future life partner, or an interesting stranger. May we all have the best train rides together.

(: