Childbirth
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My Pregnancy Journey Part 2: The Birth Story
4:41:00 PM
On the last day of 2023 (December 31st), my husband, mother, and I had just finished lunch at home and we were thinking of our New Year's Eve dinner. Almost 41 weeks pregnant, we were aiming for me to walk more (a.k.a. magpatagtag in Filipino) so my husband and I drove 20 minutes to a large supermarket in the nearby city. We had the list of ingredients we needed. On our way, I was already feeling an uncomfortable sensation similar to menstrual cramps. However, I was able to manage the discomfort because the contractions were still about half an hour apart.
When we got home and unloaded the groceries, my mother and I timed my contractions. She already defined it as early labor pains while I was debating in my head if they were real or just prodromal a.k.a. false labor. Technically, these labor pains started around 2 o'clock in the afternoon. We called the hospital, packed the last-minute stuff in my hospital bags, and we were there at four. A midwife examined my contractions and the movement and heartbeat of my baby. Baby K moved a lot with a normal heartbeat. As for me, I was definitely having contractions. However, my cervix had thinned but hadn't opened yet.
So, I was sent home and told to relax, eat, and take a bath. The nurse also reminded me to call if the following happened: contractions became shorter and more intense, my water broke, or a bloody discharge came out. We left the luggage in the car in preparation for the next run to the hospital.
At home, we prepared dinner. While eating, I sat on my yoga ball for comfort. The chilly and rainy weather, aside from having a full stomach, made me tired and sleepy. After taking a bath, my husband and I went to bed early while my mother stayed awake waiting for a video call with our family back in Manila. Without the fireworks and a feast at the table, New Year's Eve seemed like a typical night.
In bed, I tried composing an IG post (see picture below) and a blog (this one I'm writing right now), but I wasn't able to finish anything. I was also hesitant to post it anyway.
It was already past 10 o'clock when I felt stronger contractions. It occurred 10-15 minutes apart. I slowly got up to go to the bathroom, where I heard and felt a sudden gush of water different from urine. I called my Mom. Luckily, she was still wide awake. "My water must have broken," I said. Mom went to our bedroom and alerted my husband who was still sleeping. I walked towards the closet to change. When I stepped out on new pajamas, I felt another gush of liquid. I checked and panicked at the sight of blood. It must have been the mucus plug. I remembered the clothes that I was supposed to wear for labor. We included them in one of my hospital bags that were already in the car. So, my husband had to run to get them. I knew, we all knew, it was time to go.
It was drizzling. The three of us went straight to the car and I could remember my legs freezing so badly as I sat on the front seat. In three minutes, we arrived at the hospital parking lot. It was past 11 PM already. Since everyone was celebrating New Year's Eve, the hospital was closed but the second floor was admitting patients in labor. We called the hospital again and the midwife went out to administer a coronavirus saliva test for my husband and me. I tuned into Spotify and selected my Worship Playlist. The first and last song, "Beautiful Lord" by Leeland, filled the silence in the car.
My husband couldn't wait any longer and called again for us to be admitted because my contractions were getting quicker. The midwife came back at almost 12 midnight. I said goodbye to my Mom, who had to wait in the car for my husband to drive her home after I settled in. Unfortunately, only one person was allowed to stay with me in the delivery room. I felt that she was really worried about me. She asked the nurse if there was a doctor present and if he could do the caesarian delivery in case it was needed. I think the nurse didn't understand my mother's English completely but just nodded and said yes. I held Mom's hand and then we left.
The second-floor structure of the hospital was similar to a typical Japanese home. My husband and I were escorted inside. The operation room was divided into a) the main delivery room, and b) a smaller examination room with a high bed. I was told to come to the smaller room, change into my birthing clothes, and lie on the bed. The midwife told me that I was only 3 cm dilated so I could still get some sleep in my room. I got a traditional Japanese tatami room which I had no problems with at first (I will explain more about this later). My husband and I rested for a few hours. Then at 3 AM, I woke up because my contractions had accelerated to five-minute intervals. My husband made the call and we returned to the main delivery room.
An IV fluid was inserted into my arm as I sat on the delivery chair. One midwife and nurse prepared for childbirth. I took away my mask because it was getting hot and uncomfortable. My husband stood at my left side for a moment and held my hand. Then, he transferred to the back of the chair near my head. I was about 8 cm dilated. The midwife was so surprised by the progression of my cervix. She guided me in my breathing exercises, inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. "Jouzu, jouzu (Good, good)" she said. I went on as long as I could remember.
When I pushed for the first time, I really didn't know how. So, the midwife guided me patiently. I should keep my mouth closed, eyes open wide, and push as if releasing a poop. LOL. One time, when I was on a break, my husband asked the midwife, "Is there a doctor?" The midwife pointed to herself and mumbled, "Watashi (Me)." At that time, I knew this could be one of those "The Farm" stories I read in the book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Scary but beautiful. I focused on my breathing.
My cervix was fully dilated. But I wasn't pushing right. When I pushed, my stomach went up which made the opening of my cervix close even though the baby was already engaged. Fortunately, the midwife called the doctor to come in. Relief came over me and I relaxed a little.
At around 7 o'clock, a woman who came in a few hours after me in the small room suddenly gave birth. I couldn't recall when she came in though I heard her breathing and pushing. Suddenly, the doctor, midwife, and nurses migrated to her room. "What about me?" I felt like screaming. The fact that I came in before her gave me some pressure. One nurse guided me in my breathing in and out. I was losing the momentum. I was also very tired. So, I took the time to close my eyes and sleep through the waves.
After a few minutes which felt like an hour or more, I changed to a left-side position and tried to push. For a while, I gained some energy. Then, it subsided again. I was close to giving up, uttering "Dekinai desu ( I can't do it)." Everyone, including my husband, kept on encouraging me. Proceeding to further intervention, the doctor instructed the nurse to give me medicine for induction. The purpose was to make my contractions stronger because I was doing the opposite: raising my abdomen which resulted in the closing of the cervix. I pushed normally on the first wave of contractions but when I did the second stroke, I lost it. So, the midwife helped me push my abdomen down. My husband also coached me. I practiced in three to four major pushes.
Baby K's head was finally coming out. The more I looked into the heartbeat and contraction monitor on my right, the more I felt pressure. When the progress seemed slow, the doctor decided to make an episiotomy cut. I didn't feel a thing. He did another one or two. I couldn't remember anymore.
Not knowing exactly what got into me to make my next push which turned out to be my last, I gave my all. Slowly but surely, I breathed in, pushed with all my might, and sustained the position of my belly down. I held it until I felt movement, the doctor's and midwife's hands on the baby's head. Baby K was squeezing her way out. Then, I heard a loud cry. I let out a huge sigh and smiled. "Yoku gambarimashita," my husband touched my shoulder and whispered into my right ear.
Everyone was describing the baby as "ookii (big)." The next thing I knew Baby K was brought to my tummy and I held her. The umbilical cord was cut after a minute or so. She was carried away. "Happy New Year," I exclaimed and everyone let out a laugh and smile. The midwife took out my placenta and the doctor closed my episiotomy in stitches. Though I really felt so tired, groggy, and cold, I was wide awake the whole time.
A few minutes later, the nurse urged us to take pictures. She snapped a shot of our first family picture together. Then, Baby K drank her first milk from me. My husband carried her in his arms while we waited as they prepared our room and first meal of the day.
When the nurses asked me to stand up, I unexpectedly couldn't move my legs. There was numbness and pain coming from both sides. My left leg, which had already begun its sprain-type pain during the second trimestwr of my pregnancy, was in its worst state. I had to move very slowly which took a while with some help from the nurses. They had to carry my legs and back to help me sit on a wheelchair and then they led us to our room.
Everything was surreal. I am grateful that I was conscious enough to feel it all.
***
Before giving birth, I knew I was at least 50% ready. As a first-time momma, I know I shouldn't be too hard on myself. But there were three major things that I wished I had done differently in preparation for labor.
1. Take in-person childbirth classes. I would have taken a class translated into Japanese or taught in Japanese with my husband as well. One of the best preparation steps was taking Ms. Chiqui Brosas’ Prepared Childbirth Class last October. It was a hybrid class but all couples attended online. We spent the whole Sunday morning and afternoon listening to each others' pregnancy stories and then Ms. Chiqui's presentation about childbirth, breathing exercises, and massage techniques during labor. Nonetheless, it was a helpful experience as a first-time momma. But next time, I would prefer an in-person class with my husband.
2. Pack a lighter hospital bag. This was my first time to stay in a hospital and I couldn't imagine how five days would go. I knew that I didn't need everything that I brought in my bag but I still carried them anyway to be sure. Winter clothes made my bag bulkier. Surprisingly, the hospital facilities were warm and the weather also turned warmer at different times of the day. I now learned that pajamas could be limited to one or two sets and two daytime wear sets were enough. There were also freebies in the hospital such as sanitary napkins, breastfeeding pads, baby diapers, wipes, milk formula, etc. So, knowing what the hospital offers could help minimize the items to include in the hospital bag. If there is a need for something, the husband could bring it later, especially if home is just a few minutes away.
3. Exercise regularly. To be honest, there were a lot of days in the latter part of the third trimester when I didn't exercise at all due to a lot of reasons. I got busy during the last week at work, preparing my pet for travel and our home for my parents and pet's arrival. At times, it was due to procrastination because of the cold weather. Winter made me want to hibernate. But the more I felt this way, the more I should have done more kegel exercises, eaten healthily, and woke up and gone to sleep early. But I knew then I shouldn't put too hard on myself. It was good to listen to the heart and body too. I was already doing much by carrying my baby in my womb.
So, how about you? What could you have done differently to prepare yourself for labor? I believe I can learn from others' experiences too so feel free to share any experiences you had.
***
For any mother, the labor watch is truly an intense experience. Despite the preparations that I made for labor, my baby wanted to give me more alone time by staying over Christmas and sleeping away on my due date. She decided to come out on an extraordinary day though. New Year's Day.
Laboring for about 18 hours and giving birth to my baby naturally was worth all the pain. But what happened to me after was totally unexpected and it made me doubt the 50% prep that I did. I was only able to read this information in Ina May's and Heidi Murkoff's maternity books after childbirth. I wish I had known earlier and read until the end of the book.
I was shocked not by the birth pains but by the pelvic dysfunction and bowel incontinence that I experienced after giving birth. That was longer, thus more difficult. My whole body ached, especially the perineal stitches due to episiotomy. Aside from that, I couldn't walk upright for five days in the hospital. Because my hospital room was covered in a tatami mat, it was so difficult for me to sit, lie down, or stand up again. In my room, I was crawling on the floor most of the time. When it came to urinating or defecating, I was leaning on the walls just to get to the shared bathroom outside that was about two rooms away from mine. This resulted in self-pity and frustration because I couldn't take care of either my baby or myself. Since my leg ached with any movement, I couldn't breastfeed properly and carry her in my arms quickly to comfort her when she was crying. I thought I was doing fine but I was still holding my urine and bowels in because I was traumatized of the pain and I was scared of tearing. I ended up having the nurses do personal things for me which made me feel more helpless. But I was also reminded that leaning on people for help is okay. Postpartum depression was real.
The physical discomfort and pain continued at home but I felt much safer rather than staying alone in the hospital. I am truly blessed that my parents came and supported me. Although my father had already gone home before I gave birth, my mother stayed longer. My husband was very supportive as well. They cooked for me, cleaned and organized the apartment, and helped me manage physically and emotionally. My mother left a week after I returned home which made me more frustrated at first. But being alone during the daytime taught me to be stronger. My husband and his family also supported us for a couple of days within that week to help me adjust.
Four weeks it took for me to get better. My baby and I had hospital checkups during this time. Slowly, I unlocked some survival skills at home. I held on to God and my family every time I felt like breaking down.
My husband and I learned a lot through the sleepless and tiring days, and we are still recovering, learning how to do it together. This is teamwork. During this difficult season, God gave me this verse:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
The next two months will still be tough but like my husband always says, "It's only for now." This difficult season will pass away. I know I will miss this newborn stage when my baby grows older. So, I should choose to savor each moment and focus on God and my growing family.
"And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 NLT
This Word from one of the preachings last January spoke a lot to me. It is so encouraging to know that because God takes care of me and my husband and supplies our needs, we can be good parents to our baby and we can be a blessing to others as well. I shouldn't put pressure or burden on myself when I am incapable of doing something for others due to my condition and circumstances. God has everything and He will provide for us all.
These days, I am trying to focus on what is good, what is from God. I won't let the enemy steal our celebration and fill me with worries and fears. I believe the same for you whoever is reading this. Let's give God the wheel of our lives and enjoy our ride.
Our baby was the perfect New Year's gift to us. The sign of a new beginning, a new life.
We #Offer2024 to God!
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