October 24-30, 2022

I'm enjoying this writing activity more than I expected. It doesn't give me the pressure to write something interesting for others. I just needed to write for myself and allow the words to come out. 

This week is another full workload. Whenever I arrive home, I have to cook dinner, do household chores, and have a little ME time. Then, I can eat, clean up, and relax with my husband, Kensho. The household chores are the same and I couldn't squeeze in some of the things that I want to do. But these five things give me joy and I am grateful.

1. Good people at work

I am really thankful that the people that I work with every day are very kind. Sometimes they leave food on my table or hand it out to me personally sometimes. They don't provide "emotional" support always but they don't discriminate either. They must be having their own idea of me when they watch me work. But I haven't heard any complaints from them. One of the Japanese Teachers of English that I work with also told me that she has not been told bad things about me either. So, I must be doing just fine. Yahoo!

2. New Home

For months after we got married in March, Kensho and I have looked for apartments and houses online, talked with agents, and visited some in person. But we couldn't find the right fit. Then one night when we were both on the brink and I was complaining to him about my frustration, he opened his phone right away and looked. A new advertisement for a pet-friendly 1LDK apartment appeared at once! What great timing! The next day, Kensho called them right away because there might be a lot of people looking for the apartment that we wanted. Our goal is to find a place close to the convenience store, supermarket, post office, etc., where we can keep a pet, and where I can commute by train to my schools. Ayabe station is just 7 minutes away. 

It's amazing when we've found the place where all of our top needs would be met, we could decide right away. We're so excited that we have been telling each other every day, "I want to move, I want to move." We've never felt this much desire to move to a new place. ((:

Last Saturday, we signed the contract and received all the papers. This is such a great blessing!

3. Leading People to Jesus

I started as a substitute leader for the International Girls Connect Group when my leader couldn't make it because she had to take care of her newborn last February to March this year. I have been joining the group since November 2019 when I first came to Lifehouse Kyoto Church and met a lot of great women of God. Since the pandemic started, the group has been meeting online. But a lot of girls have come and gone back home, moved to a different church or country, and became busy with their jobs and life in general. I couldn't blame them because a church evolves in various ways and nothing is permanent. 

I stepped up a lot this year. At first, I was so hesitant in taking the lead because I feel inadequate and far from the main church. I couldn't go to church every Sunday because Kyoto city is two hours away. The only thing I can do consistently is to be there online. So far, the groups are still meeting online and that's one thing that's never gonna disappear, I guess, due to the nature of people attending. 

I have been given this task as a way of serving God. I am excited about what He is doing and the greater things coming ahead!

4. Love

I'm really happy that I could speak to my loved ones in the Philippines, America, Hungary, Germany, and other parts of the world through social media anytime I want. I really miss my family and friends so much. There are days that I just cry and get emotional. It's tough being away from people that I've spent almost the past 35 years with. 

5. My Birthday

My husband and I woke up at midnight and noticed that there are only 7 minutes left before October 30th. We started to pray in bed and waited excitedly. Then when the clock struck 12, he said "Otanjoubi omedetou, chan-Kaye. Kansha shimasu." which means "Happy birthday, Kaye-chan. I am grateful." We finished our prayers and hugged each other. It didn't start quite well when we woke up in the morning. I was having a hormonal imbalance again. Huhu. But Kensho was so patient and kind. He tried to help me pick out something to wear even though it was really hard for me. He also listened and hugged me when I uttered my frustrations about myself. We were supposed to go to Lifehouse Kyoto church but since it was traffic, we couldn't make it and just went back in time to watch the online service. It was the right choice because we were able to listen to the preaching well and received God's Word clearly. Afterward, Kensho took a quick nap, and then we went shopping for wine, pasta sauce, and pickles at Yamasho, and went window shopping for appliances at AEON Mall. We were so amused by the different features of refrigerators and washing machines and shocked by the prices. Then, Kensho and I went to Kinugawa to buy a fruit cake. We went home, relaxed, and cooked dinner together. After taking a warm bath, I blew out my cake. Kensho even closed the lights to get a dim effect. It was very sweet! He said that he wasn't able to buy a present. But I told him that our new apartment is our gift to each other. It was a very simple but genuine celebration with no need for pretensions and fancy things. 

Last year, I also got engaged. I couldn't believe that it has only been that long. In a year, we were able to hold two weddings with our families and friends. 

God is so good! I should continue believing and being grateful for the smallest things.

Thank you so much, Lord.

I look forward to the joy that You bring to my life every day.

K

  

October 17-23, 2022

Lately, life has been steady but I couldn't help but feel confused and impatient about many things. My idea of making these negative vibes go away is to write. I read the book "The Happines Project" by Gretchen Rubin in 2009 and it changed my life back then. Currently, she has been doing a list of things that make her happy in her newsletter. I have been enjoying reading about hers so I want to try and do the same. 

Hopefully, I can keep up with my own weekly list of 5 Things That Give Joy. I want to be more intentional about ALL THE GOOD THINGS happening to me. Whether they are big or small, they deserve to be acknowledged and valued. They are God's blessings that can encourage me when things get off track. 

1. 7:27 train

My daily commute every day starts at 7:20 when I leave the apartment and walk to the train station for three minutes (excluding stoplights). Though the fact that I couldn't leave later than that does not make me happy, I am grateful for the chance to discipline myself and stick to a routine. Because I take a bath at night, it's eliminated from my Morning To-Do List. I could focus on washing my face, getting dressed, putting on a little make-up, organizing my room, and preparing the breakfast that I could bring to the station and eat before I go to work. In 50 minutes, I could do some of these simultaneously. 

I've been multi-tasking for as long as I could remember. But I honestly feel that waking up an hour earlier is better. If I wake up at the same time as my husband, I could be more productive and relaxed. I could even do a short yoga routine plus quiet time/meditation to start the day right. Maybe I could even add that to one of the 5 things that make me happy next week!

2. Easy online shopping

In Japan, you could easily shop online and the delivery is superb. It's so efficient that the courier companies deliver in a day or two and you can also specify the date and time that you prefer. Requesting for redelivery is very easy as well. You can easily call the assigned delivery person and state your time of availability. This is the fastest and most convenient but there are call charges. For free, you could just change your delivery requests through the online website as well. 

My recent purchase is a wooden iron stand and a good steam iron that I bought on sale. Buying things for the home really spark joy. I try to invest more in quality items even though they are pricier. I prefer good quality products that can last for many years rather than inexpensive products that could be replaced in a year or two.

3. Indoor plant companions

The touch of nature inside the hom relaxes me. When my mother came to Ayabe, Kyoto in May 2019, she helped me choose a few plants to decorate my apartment. However, they all died during winter. 

When I moved to Nishinomiya, Hyogo the following year, my first indoor plant that is still alive today is a Monstera from a nearby supermarket. I named it Monti. I'd accidentally left it out on the balcony during a hot day two summers ago but it survived. When I went to IKEA Tsuruhama, I also carried home a medium-sized ZZ plant that is still thriving in the kitchen now.  

This year, I've added a Sansevieria Cylindrica (snake plant) which is still happily surviving too. I hope to expand this family after we move to a bigger home soon. Yay!

4. Manageable schedule

My everyday workday in the Philippines had been toxic. A teaching job doesn't end at 5 p.m. It ends at 12 a.m. and sometimes materials preparation ends at 3 a.m. or no sleep at all. Because I could not be paid for my overtime work, I had to leave school on time. Thus, I worked at home. There was mostly no time for family and unwinding during weekdays. 

Here in Japan, I rarely bring work home. My first year of teaching was an exception because I was adjusting to everything. I was also Teacher 1 in most of my schools so I prepared all the lessons and materials and the Japanese Teachers of English only provide support to me and the students. The more manageable lessons started during my second and third years of teaching when the rule was implemented and more Japanese teachers were trained to lead the English lessons with or without an Assistant Language Teacher. My Japanese Teachers of English are really good teachers but they still couldn't speak English straight in class. My school days are mostly full from first period to sixth period. But lesson planning and materials preparation don't happen everyday because my JTEs have usually prepared it before I come to school. We mostly do team teaching, checking of worksheets, and lesson planning together. To be honest, I think this is not the best set-up that I like for my teaching career  because I also need growth, command in the classroom, and a sense of fulfillment. But for now, I'm just being the best Teacher 2 that I could be. 

My job schedule also allows me to arrive home about one or two hours before my husband, Kensho. I could prepare dinner and organize the home before he arrives. He wants us to eat dinner together every night so instead of working overtime, he finishes work at 5:00 p.m., organizes everything, walks his hunter dog, and drives home. 

5. Married life

Kensho and I have been married for six happy months. I couldn't believe that it has been that long! We still haven't gone through all the photos and videos of our two weddings. But we're working on it and posting soon. Lol! All thanks to God for making all these happen. 

I am really grateful that I have a husband who cares enough to come home early, relax, and spend quality time with me after work despite his hectic schedule. We also grew up differently, but we are able to work it out every day. Language is still challenging though lately, we are getting used to communicating using our own language mix. Ganbarimasu!

Living with another person again after moving to Japan has taken the loneliness away. But my "me time" has been compromised and only weekends make up for it. It is also challenging when we are both in a not-so-good state. What I am really thankful for is the love and patience that we have for each other and God guiding our hearts, minds, and actions. Kensho has been the perfect person to stand my "adult tantrums" or what our family calls "berat mode." Lol. Being quick to forgive and understand each other is something that has really saved us and we're practicing this by God's grace. 

Thank God for these 5 things! I still couldn't believe how my life turned out unexpectedly here in Japan. I remember praying in the past, traveling to places, and dreaming about the things that I have now. 

Of course, we still have a lot of unanswered prayers. But God has been really good and faithful to us and our loved ones. He has been answering prayer after prayer and telling us to wait a little more for His answers. 

Lately, He has been teaching me again to set aside quality time with Him in prayer, journalling, and worship. I feel like I've been losing my childlikeness when life keeps me busy. It is really therapeutic to slow down, reflect, and be thankful for all things big and little. 

Though there is uncertainty in this season, I am sure of one thing: Joy and peace come from God alone.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I am excited to reflect on the next 5 things next week and literally SEE God's blessings.

With joy,

K

When 2018 began, I felt that I would undergo changes and I had to be brave enough to face them. Fear was not completely eradicated when I underwent each change but I learned to persevere and sought God in the process. I believe hurdles are essential for the courage in us to grow.

The previous year refused to back down on me. I entered January with a panic attack. During the holiday break, I was revising my drafts for final submission. At the end of the month, the requirements were completed and my thesis was officially approved by the faculty. I was geared for graduation by God's grace.

Come February, the doors in Japan that I found in 2017 closed. I was determined that I will find another. I am grateful to my family and friends who prayed and supported me. While waiting, I held on to Philippians 1:6:

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6

I decreed that 2018 will be filled with the unexpected for God moves in suddenlies. When I started trusting Him with every area of my life, He opened new doors for me and closed the ones I need to walk away from.

In this blog, I want to share how God moved while I was #BravingOut2018. These new and old revelations unearthed in various events throughout the year made me brave.

Pray God-sized prayers. Dream God-sized dreams.

Finding a job that will fit my current situation was difficult. Most companies and schools would want an employee who could stay for a year or more. So I started as a freelancer. At first, it was difficult for I was independent of support from an employer. But God is amazing in connecting people. I taught two kids who had difficulty in reading in UP Diliman. I had no idea if it would work but it did. I started dreaming and proclaiming about a job where I will be passionate, use my skills and gifts, be mentored and gain various experience from, and rejoice in my labor.

April to May was my training ground season. While my student took a summer vacation, I started a job where I applied my MA in Reading Education in a clinical setting for a summer program. It wasn’t an easy feat but it was a stretch that I needed.

In July, I was waiting patiently on God for financial breakthroughs. My online business, Eye for Brands, encountered internal and external issues and I needed to pause for two months. God was faithful because a new supplier came in September. Despite the struggles, I was able to enjoy my labor. An example was enjoying a fitness activity again.

God always has the resource ready for the assignment. The greater the assignment, the greater the resource. The fear of asking God for BIG things due to timidity and spirit of lack must lessen. How could we be so afraid to ask when He could move beyond our dreams and imagination?

Obey God and fight for your destiny.

In May, I made a declaration that the enemy cannot steal my joy. I felt like my dreams were being taken away from me. I was scouting GaijinPot and other websites daily, revising my resumé for the nth time, and sending it through emails but receiving no response. It seemed like I was going nowhere. But I chose to praise God over my circumstances and be grateful. People told me to traverse a different path. They only led me to listen to God more. I have a God “who teaches me to profit, who leads me in the way I should go (Isaiah 48:17). I fought for my dream; the promotion in my Promised Land. Obedience was His word.

“Whoever obeys His command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him.” Ecclesiastes 8:5-6

God is our adamant. Because the Spirit of Christ dwells in us, therefore, we are immovable and unshakeable. We can win over anything.

Build your confidence in God.

Despite the feeling or rejection due to closed doors at the beginning of the year, the Lord made me believe in myself again. I graduated in June with my thesis nominated for Best Thesis Award, my father arriving at my graduation just in time, and a celebration with the whole family. My thesis was also accepted to a local and an international conference. I knew that the reason for these achievements were not to lift me up. It was to glorify God who offered redemption and vindication from the dreams that died in the past years. All things are possible with Him.

The moment that I started declaring and claiming my destiny, new doors opened. In the middle of May, I applied to an agency for a teaching job in Japan and attended an orientation. The tedious and lengthy process almost sucked my will out. In response, I tried to counteract every difficulty with prayer. In June, I passed the comprehensive job interview. In July, I prepared. In August, I passed the teaching demo. From September to early October, all the necessary requirements were completed. At the end of October, the company in Japan approved my application. During my job interview at the agency, the international director acted more like family. He reminded me that I have it all in me, I was bound to go to Japan, and my refined personality would fit there. He also stated that no matter what we’ve achieved in life, we are all the same. There is no room for arrogance, only humility. I couldn’t quite believe what I heard at first. Clearly, it was God speaking to me. Moreover, after three years of waiting, I was able to enroll in three consecutive Japanese language classes in UP Diliman. Thank God I passed two courses! This confirmed my journey to the land of the rising sun.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-37

I also learned that the highest central value in life is attitudinal—how we respond to what we experience in life matters. The key is to be proactive.

Come out of your comfort zone and experience His glory.

This year, my introverted personality was redefined. In August, God met me where I am when I presented my thesis in the International Conference on Teacher Education (ICTED). Instead of hiding in my shell, he pulled me out of my comfort zone to build connections with people in the educational field. I was so nervous but God took away my fears of not being liked, making a mistake, and not being good enough. My advocacy for children with autism propelled me to go. God doesn't want us to hide and stay in the "I'm OK" zone. He wants us to step out and witness MORE!

“I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfil His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]” Philippians 4:13 Amplified Version

Be kind and speak truth to thyself and others.

I experienced numerous faith tests in relationships in 2018. I let myself be affected by other's people's perceptions of me. It caused me pain. I lost my confidence and I messed up. God has been good and faithful as always. God gives and takes away. But He also redeems and restores relationships.

Through Him, I learned to be kind to myself. I accepted that I am a work in progress. I also declared that I was not born to be a people pleaser and a push-over. I also learned the value of speaking an encouraging Truth about God's will for that person rather than pointing out their mistakes; to give constructive feedback in a gentle and loving way and ample praise at the right moments without hesitation; and to be consistent with my thoughts and actions around others. Moreover, I fully accepted the fact that I couldn't change people and their ways. I could only leave that to God. I prayed to God to remove the spirit of timidity, vulnerability, and inconsistency in me. Accepting change and allowing ourselves to undergo transformation show tremendous courage.

Entrust everything to Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

2018 was about choices. There is a time to choose battles and there is a time to choose peace. There is a time to say yes and a time to say no. In August, new doors were opened. I applied as an assistant researcher in a university and as a reading specialist in a non-profit organization. My application went well but not well enough for them to give me the job. The only reason was I was leaving for Japan soon. I surrendered and chose to believe in God. My security was anchored upon Him. At the end of September, the non-profit organization suddenly offered the job to me again. After seeking God's will, I learned the timing was so right for I just finished the requirements for Japan, and I received the answer in Ephesians 5-9. The job was a gift from Him, sealed with gladness of heart, wisdom, knowledge, and joy. I shouldn't fear if the job is beyond my knowledge and abilities for this is the perfect place to be in this season where I could find favor. When I accepted the offer, He started to reveal more of Himself in the new land. My schedule worked out for I was still able to teach in one-on-one reading intervention sessions. There were times when I felt inadequate, tired, and stressed. But He surrounded me with a new family at work. And I just kept declaring His Word and entrusted everything to Him.

I chose to heed to God's leading. I chose to enjoy the pressing and stretching period. I chose to change my perspective in relationships. I chose to love. I chose to accept others for who they are. I chose joy. In numerous events, I chose to make the most out of every opportunity. I chose to glorify God above all.

Among all these learnings, I learned the true definition of being brave. It's not about being the strongest and most skilled to fight. It's not about winning every battle to earn and receive recognition. True courage is seen in the encouraging words we share with our loved ones; a kind gesture shown to a person unkind to us; and a decision to love and understand others despite the differences and the pain. It is also demonstrated by an individual stepping into unknown places where he/she is called without knowing what lies ahead. It is seen in a person surrendering his/her life and dying to self every single day.

Braving out requires great faith. And courage only comes from the Lord. As 2019 begins, I pray God will give us the ability to transcend every circumstance with courage and joy. May we rise above and go beyond the barriers that limit and bind us in order for us to experience the full and abundant life that He offers. May our faith carry us to greater heights with Him in 2019!


“The glory of the present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,” says the Lord Almighty. “And in this place, I will grant peace,” declares the Lord Almighty.” Haggai 2:7-9

Happy New Year!

Every year, God gave me a theme to live by. For 2017, He gave me Overflow and Peacekeeper. He promised an overflow of love, joy, and peace. It was a year that started with tears and ended with laughter and thanksgiving. He gifted me with 12 fruitful lessons, one for each month, which I summarized in four parts. I hope God speaks to you through these.

God First Above Everything

The beginning of the year was a ground-shaking moment. God impressed me He is first above everything. There were losses and gains---amazing Prayer and Fasting, financial provision, a new venue for learning (EdPsych!), death in the family, a new door of opportunity to study abroad, and loss of a laptop that contained all my thesis files. The latter was the most devastating of all because I expected to graduate in June. But if you read my blog about this, Losing My Life for God's Glory, the Lord turned everything into good (Genesis 50:20).

Through this rollercoaster of events, God reminded me of who He is and His position in my life. When things were becoming chaotic, I mended things my way or with the help of others first. But God wanted me not to rely on human power but on Him alone (Zechariah 4:6). I need to let go of my selfish desires and started focusing on God and His will. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. His ways are higher than our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9). No person or thing can fill the top position in our lives which is His from the beginning. He must increase, but we must decrease (John 3:29-30). I learned how to die to self (still learning). As a result, I felt more awe at Him than ever before.

Honor God's Process

I resonated with one quote of Pastor Steve Furtick, "If we honor God's process, He will honor His promise." The process is the most nerve-wracking time of all. I had so many reasons to quit my dreams. I felt confused and discouraged with the way things were heading. In the middle of the year, the results of my applications abroad almost led me to the finish line. But it suddenly turned into a different direction. A close call! Our 11-year-old Akita, Yuki died. I gained severe asthma after attending a friend's wedding. I got so frustrated with myself for not meeting deadlines and making mistakes. While recovering from sickness, I was writing my revisions and finishing everything in a rush. By God's grace, I survived it all. But He reminded me of two things regarding the season before the victory.

First, the process involves trials of many kinds (James 1:2). There is a room for failure. There is a room for hibernation. Nothing is wasted. It is part of the process of becoming who I am called to be. After weeks of contemplation, I saw delays as God's divine strategies. I realized, "Progress no matter how little is still progress. Maybe slow progress is what I need to enjoy life. I am thankful for what I've done everyday." God was working while I was eating three or more meals a day, finishing an MA, living in my parent's house, having enough time to build relationships with people, receiving financial provision, sleeping in a comfy bed, and being surrounded by pet animals (yes, that's heaven). There were so many little things to find joy in! My perspective changed. I marched forward. Even though the present and the future were blurry, God wasn't. I pressed on and clung to Him more. He allowed me to reach certain sublevels as preparation for the higher levels He set for me. To win this game of life, don't quit. Pass the testsss! He is doing a good work and He is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

Second, the process is determined by God. No matter how great we are in planning, His plans prevail (Proverbs 16:9). It's like having a travel itinerary with every plan scraped off. But the outcome is sweet! Since June, I felt God's presence as I prepared for my final defense. It was a lengthy and tiring process, not to mention it was rescheduled three times. When I defended my research study and passed it last September 11, God and I bombed two towers of the enemy that day, The Tower of Fear and the Tower of Stagnation. I was in perfect peace. I felt the battle has been won even before my panel said, "Passed!" That was all God moving for me. It was the right time. It couldn't be too early or too late. Just like what Pastor Erwin said in a preaching at church, "God never forgets. He is never late." God used the sufferings to stretch my character (patience to the nth level!!!). He tested my faith: "(Karen) FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1." He crafted every detail of His plan so well, considering the innermost desires of our hearts.

Shifting Focus to the Right Door

God allowed different doors to open this year. However, he had to close some of them so I could shift my focus. Instead of standing by closed doors, I followed Him into the right door. He assured me that the rest will follow as long as I adhere to his leading. I prioritized my thesis. While working on it, He reminded me I need people. Being an independent person and a multi-tasker, I am used to doing things on my own and juggling things at the same time as long as I could bear them. He provided me strength. But He also emphasized that I am not meant to do this alone. That struck me so hard. I humbled myself and sought help. He strategically placed people to help me at the right time. It also turned into an opportunity to advocate and raise awareness for Children with Autism.

When God placed people in, He took out some. During this season, I focused more on loving myself and valuing people present in my life. I spent my time building those relationships and letting go of people and things I could not change. I also learned to be less sacrificial with my time (my love language) and to say "no" to people. It was a maturing stage for me. I threw away the "push-over Kaye" and stood up for myself and for what I believe in even though people disagreed. I listened to God alone. Aside from God uplifting me, He also humbled me down. I refocused on what matters---asking for forgiveness for my mistakes, forgiving others for hurting me, and loving despite the pain. As a disciple, He warned me about the difficult people I meet. When I attended a Biblical Counseling Training in Tokyo Baptist Church, He spoke clearly, "You will not change people. I am the only one who does that. It's not about you. It's about me. Surrender the people you counsel to me. That burden is not yours to take." That lifted the heavy load off and freed me.

God also had me undergo a self-check every now and then to refocus my goals. He reminded me this: Strive to be your most beautiful self with honed character rather than fame, merits, riches, and titles. Empty yourself and keep learning. There is nothing wrong with gaining these. But these temporary things must not consciously and unconsciously distract us from Him.

Reiterating John Ortberg's quote in "All the Places to Go," every time God closes a door, he's up to something. Thank God for closed doors!

Strong and Courageous But Brave Enough to Surrender

My decrees about graduating in June and studying and working abroad crumbled down in July. I could have given it all up. But His peace caused me to become the opposite: strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9). Instead of questioning Him, I rested in His Word: "In the day of trouble, He will keep me safe in His dwelling, He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock." (Psalm 27:5) I decreed His life promise to me in Isaiah 54 again. I surrendered to Him, "Lord, I've done my part. Now, take control from here." His plans started to make sense since then.

A business opportunity and a new passion flourished. Hello, Eye for Brands! Hello, Weaving!

An opportunity to travel in Japan and live like a local for 30 days came as a surprise (after a long travel hiatus). Okiniiri!!!

My research journey has reached its peak. Kaunting-kaunti na lang!!! Hello, Graduation!!!

New job opportunities abroad came (still praying for the outcome).

It was the perfect illustration of this verse:

Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. - Romans 8:18

2017 was indeed a year of acceleration. This year, my life underwent a reshuffle for God's glory. God removed things to give space to greater ones. I met new people of different nationalities. I braved out of my comfort zone. I learned and relearned things. Some dreams were wrecked and some took slower than I expected while some happened in a flash. But I have never felt safer. There were many reasons to mourn but there were more reasons to get up and dance with God through it all.


The Lord's love, joy, and peace overflowed despite the sufferings in 2017. I hope and pray that you also experienced an overflow in your life. It occurred to me when I put God first above everything, honored the process before His promises, shifted my focus and heeded to His direction, and stood strong and courageous yet brave enough to surrender to His will. His presence is sufficient for us to live a full and an abundant life.

In 2018, let's keep declaring Him as our Peacekeeper. Let's continue claiming His faithfulness in our lives. I will start with one of these verses that my best friend and I have decreed throughout last year. It was so timely because the theme of our church's Prayer and Fasting 2018 is "Ephesians for Christ." 

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us..." -Ephesians 3:20
It's time to face the unexpected in 2018! Cheers to a year of crossing over (attraversiamo) and braving out!

Always Love,
K

"If we cut off their tongues and forbid the Christians speech, they love with their hands, with their feet, and with their eyes, they love always and everywhere until their last respiration."

This is my love life. This is how I want to love my Maker, my Husband (Isaiah 54). I am in love with none other than Jesus, my Lord and Saviour.

2016 was not the year when I started falling in love with God. But I became more intentional with Him this year. I wanted to know Him more than to merely see His promises come to pass. It was all about Him and His steadfast love and faithfulness for me. I have always known that He could love me that much. But I never knew that that kind of love could be enough for me.

In the previous year, God started building my faith into a whole new level. I had greater faith in Him. When I entered 2016,  I declared that He is Emmanuel (God with us). Throughout the year, I did not doubt Him when things get shaky or out of control. Instead of complaining and worrying, He taught me to focus on Him. He taught me how to listen, obey, and be still. He revealed more of His character and how much He loves me. This is the ultimate reason why this year was better than the previous years and why I am looking forward to the best years ahead. God is not yet finished with those He loves. He is going to do more and more amazing things for us. Why? Just because He loves us. Supernaturally.

This supernatural love could only be learned from God. While I was reading Luke chapters 23 and 24, I was crying. It was the time when the authorities insisted on Jesus' death even though He did not commit anything wrong. He was just and sinless in their eyes. But He was crucified. On our behalf, He asked God to forgive us for our sins because we did not know what we were doing. To be loved like that and to be taught how to love like that is a gift. Nobody deserved it. But Jesus did it anyway because of His love for us. That is His selfless, supernatural, unconditional love.

Before 2016 comes to an end, I want to write about how God showed His love to me as an act of gratitude to Him. It might be different from how God expressed it to you this year. But I'm sure there is one thing in common. It showed the depth and magnitude of His love.

"His unconditional love is limitless."

I felt God's limitless love when I started being a full-time student in April. I was jobless, broke, and delayed in the thesis calendar and life goals I have set for myself. I asked Him about the reasons for the sufferings repeatedly. I did not lose my faith. But I was crying out to Him and begging Him for quick solutions.

For each time, He did not turn His back on me. He faced me, assured me of His promises, and loved me. Despite my imperfections, His love did not cease. His love never ran out. He chose to continue loving. He provided solutions, both quick and lengthy, through financial support, new doors, encouraging and generous people, and countless little miracles. All I needed to do was be still and trust Him.

"His selfless love is shared."

Everyday, I asked God what He wanted me to do or learn from Him. It seemed that every place was a classroom. He was the teacher. Once, I felt the urge to buy something from a store in a mall. I ended up having a lengthy conversation with a saleslady. She told me that she was an inactive Christian who could not go to church anymore due to her work. She also has a baby girl. She was worried about so many things. In short, she was in a total mess. Before I left the store, I asked her if I could pray for her and she agreed happily. She was so grateful after that. As for me, I was in awe about how God used me to show compassion and love to a stranger. One visit to a store turned out to be a divine meeting.

From that day on, I asked God to use me to encourage and spread His love to others. If we have God in ours heart, then we must be overflowing. Other people need Him too. Even though we're tired, we're not being loved, or we're facing problems, we can still be a channel of His love to others. It may be difficult at times. But are we willing to die to ourselves in order to share God's love to His people? It is how God loves. He loves even though there is a need for sacrifice, even though there is not so much to gain from it.

"His supernatural love is satisfying."

Like most women, I have always dreamt of a man who would sweep me off my feet one day. I have always prayed about him. I entered this year with a brand new and restored heart. But in the middle of the year, I started to look for ways to meet new people. In this day and age, I considered the Internet as a possible venue. But a few days after, I laid on the floor, closed my eyes, and conversed with God in the middle of a Worship and Prayer Night at church. God asked me two questions. His first question was, "How do you feel about it?" I told Him that I felt so bad. I could not imagine telling my future husband about talking to numerous men before him, scanning each one, in order to select someone that matches me. There is nothing wrong with meeting people in the Internet just as long as it is God's will for your love life. Moving away from it was a decision based on my own conviction. I could not handle it like other people could. In short, it was not God's will for me. The second question was, "Don't you trust my divine algorithms or match-making?" He reminded me about my dream as a young girl. I dreamt of meeting the one in a bookstore or in a very movie-like face-to-face interaction. He asked me, "Would you settle for something less when you could have the best 'cute meet'? I could do it. I am your matchmaker." So I surrendered it to Him and let Him write our love story the way He planned it.

Everything started to change. God changed my heart into a heart that yearns for Him alone. It was not fixed on finding my life partner. It was focused on knowing Him and experiencing His steadfast love and faithfulness. To the world, my relationship status would be described as lonely, boring, and loveless at my late 20s. But to me, this season was joyful, exciting, and full of love. I am in a relationship with my Father, the Great Lover Himself. I do not need to worry about anything for His love lasts and satisfies. It is all I could ever need in this season.

If you find yourself looking for a love that is limitless, overflowing, and satisfying, enter a love life with God first. It is the best love story one could ever have. The love story that we are yearning for with another person begins with Him. In order for us to fully love another person, we must learn to love like God. He is going to prepare us for that journey but we must die to ourselves and love Him first. In return of our love for Him, His peace that transcends all understanding will fill us (John 14:27; Philippians 4:7). We do not need to worry about our identity or our worth. God's love consumes us.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:22-23

This is the steadfast love that I found in 2016. I hope and pray that those who haven't experienced God's love seek it and find it with all their hearts (Jeremiah 29:13). May His love in us continue to overflow.


"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." 
-Matthew 22:37

Cheers to your best year yet! (:

K

A million times in our lives, I'm sure we have heard God's voice telling us to "Go." He wanted us to do something, usually something that we did not think highly of. But before we obey Him, we usually ask Him a question, "Okay, God. But when?" This response might be due to fear from the unknown or lack of trust in Him. But no matter how hard we resist to follow His command, He will never stop bugging us until we act on it.

Through the years, God has kept on reminding me to believe and trust Him through this verse: "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." -Habakkuk 2:3

While waiting, God does not want us to believe and just be idle. He wants us to continue living our lives while entrusting Him our dreams and desires. Sometimes, the delays come just because we do not believe. We could not wait. So we move based on what we want; ignoring God in the process. Or sometimes we just sit still doing nothing. How do we really respond?

This year, I asked God some questions and the Bible Verses He gave to each one that satisfied my yearnings for answers.

1. What is God's plan for my life?



We have asked this question a million times. He is the only one who could tell us the things that He desires for us. He might use people around us, strangers, friends, or family. But we could only make sure that it is from Him when it confirms what He has already told us. It comes through His Word, prayers, visions, and prophecies. God reveals it to YOU and ME.

2. When is the appointed time?



Good things take time. God makes waiting part of receiving the beautiful plans He has for you and me. He does not only want us to enjoy receiving them but to enjoy the process of waiting upon them. He has already gone before us and He will guard us when that appointed time comes.

3. How do I wait for it?


4. What do I do when it comes?


Simply be thankful. Let God's steadfast love and faithfulness be known to mankind. Spread the Word about how good, pleasing, and perfect God is. We are expected to receive what we have been given. But we must have a grateful heart to God who has given us all things.

In this season, I have heard God's voice telling me to go and do things. Sure, I have asked him a lot of questions aside from the ones I listed here. The key is to just keep on seeking Him. When you get answers, obey Him.

Through the process of waiting upon Him, I realized that listening to other people clouds God's messages. You must listen to God only. Many times, people kept on saying to do this or to do that. Then, when I started to commune with Him, everything became clear. God wanted me to keep on taking chances until the right time for me to step into the open doors come. It was not for others to do. It was between me and God.

God wanted me to do my part by exercising my faith in Him. It was not easy to just go and do things while others are doubting you or advising you to do something else. But doing the things God has asked you to do, without knowing the outcomes, acting out of pure faith, honours Him. I believe that He will outdo every pain, suffering, and hardship that I have experienced in order to get there.

So when God says go, don't say no. Just go.

My darkest battles in life are rooted in fear. I feared that time is too short. I feared that I would not be good enough. I feared that I would lose a friend. I feared that I would not be able to get through without a job. I feared to live alone. And the list goes on.

Two years have already passed since I started studying about my thesis topic for my Master's (MA). I changed my mind a hundred times. But I ended up making a 180 degree turn, scrapping everything off and starting again.

Studying while working was so difficult. I felt like I am going crazy when I still had to attend to my life after work. I had to go to night time classes and go home late. I also had to write my papers and reports and study for exams in the wee hours of the night in order to get by. Even though my mind was swirling in different places, I had to present in front of my teachers and classmates. I tried my best to keep my mind sane. I could not give up work because I needed to pay my own tuition fees. I also invested on two virus-free laptops in which one already broke down. I knew that it would help me write my thesis despite my salary being cut down in half every month for an entire year.

I questioned myself several times about whether I should teach or study in order to concentrate on one. Come the time last month when I finally decided to let go of work for a few months. Now, I am broke. I stay home most of the time. Taking hold of my time is a dream. But it is also a nightmare in some days. Because I still live with my parents and siblings, I am entitled to help out in the household chores. There are a lot of times when I have to do chores instead of work on my thesis. Several times a day, I wish to be casted away in a quiet and lonesome place whenever I want to concentrate on my writing. Most of the time, I had my freedom to write in my favorite college libraries. Not that I don't want to help (one of my top love languages is service), I just feel like I really need to finish now so I won't have to prolong it. My parents keep asking me why it is taking so long. Well, this is why it is. I am preoccupied and distracted with so many things.

But I know that life beyond what I am currently doing is harder. Because of God's grace alone, I am able to stay alive. Instead of merely complaining, I begin to be thankful for how steadfast and faithful God's love is for me. Who would have the opportunity to travel cities, states, and countries, and continents while finishing MA with most expenses paid? Who would have the luxury to stay in my parents' house at this age and add the fact that they already sent me to school for 15 years? Who would have faithful and supportive family and friends who always give words of wisdom and help me in making difficult life decisions? Whenever I feel like complaining, I remember God's Word.

 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." -1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV

God is testing me every time He sends responsibilities such as work and chores. He is moulding my character for bigger and greater responsibilities in the future wherein I have to multi-task. I have to know how to keep my cool and deliver well despite the anxiety and stress. In spite of my weaknesses and other people's weaknesses, I am able to do above and beyond what anyone could ever imagine.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

So how am I going to attain success in this journey? Through God's strength, I draw strength from. Through God's grace, I am able to forgive others and even myself for my shortcomings and failures. Through God's reprimands, I correct my actions. Through God's power, I welcome and withstand the difficulties that my life brings. Through God's faithfulness, I believe. A successful journey can only be attained through God. He is the same before, now, and forever. His promise is being fulfilled.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest." Exodus 14:14

I ask, believe, and not doubt God (James 1:5-6) to continue to go before me. I will choose to follow His timeline more than my own or others'. The journey will not take too long or too short but just right. And whatever comes, I believe that He will uplift and provide me with peace and rest.

The most important thing is that I feel Him within me and I could see Him glorified in my life when this research journey has come to an end.

That is enough to know and receive.