Seeing 2022 with fresh eyes of faith was possible because of God. He opened my eyes to witness more of His glorious works not only in my life but in my family and friends' lives. I am grateful for seeing victory despite the difficult circumstances, basking in God's undying love, receiving His amazing grace, experiencing stability and growth, and enjoying the gift of salvation, joy, miracles, and new beginnings. I was able to see this verse come to life:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Seeing Victory

The difficulty in acquiring my Japanese Driver's License still persisted until the end of February last year. I wanted the suffering to end so badly so I could concentrate on wedding planning. I was on the brink of giving up. But the encouragement and support that I got from my family, friends, and of course, my ex-fiancé and driving teacher motivated me to enroll in another driving lesson at Kyoto Driver's Licensing Center and take another test. When I let go, ignoring the costs and focusing on the prize, I passed!

The victory came from God. He brought me to this challenging situation to show me that it is neither about my ability to drive nor my driving test skills. This was all about testing my faith and seeing His power to make everything happen at the right time, place, and condition. 

Seeing God's Love

Engaged and set to plan my wedding in January, I was carrying a mixture of emotions. Before the end of winter break, we were able to form a wedding committee that consisted of me and my three teacher friends from different prefectures in Japan-- Kyoto, Hyogo, and Tokyo. As one of our first investments as an engaged couple, we were able to buy a good camera that has live-streaming features. Using this, we did a mini winter shoot for our DIY electronic wedding invitation and Facebook group page. Wedding services were so expensive so we planned to do it all without hiring a wedding planner and supplier. We also wanted to save the rest of our money for our wedding in the Philippines.

Come February, my then-fiancé and I finished our marriage registration at the city hall. We had to prepare a lot of papers in Japanese but we received help from a kind Japanese friend and finished everything at the right time. We also had our Marriage Preparation sessions with our church pastor and his wife and my Connect Group leader from Lifehouse Church Kyoto. We learned a lot about each other and God's purpose for our marriage. It was also during this time that we encountered another fire coming from an old house beside my apartment during the wee hours of the morning. It was bigger than the fire last December. My veranda was right in front of the window of the house. There was only one little parking space in the middle. We prayed to God for protection and thank God it didn't happen again. 

Even though we wanted our first wedding in Japan with our families, the pandemic still became worse and the borders remained closed. We hired a photographer, who was an acquaintance of our friend, and who takes photos with the simple, natural, dreamy vibe that we were aiming for. We had seven guests--the church pastor, three churchmates whom we hired and helped us, and three teacher friends who volunteered to do DIY with us. I was filled with a lot of anxiety about how everything would turn out. I also didn't expect that I would have bridal showers online and offline near the wedding day. But I am so grateful for the love, wisdom, and support from my closest friends from the Philippines and Japan. The night before the wedding, God reminded me to be joyful in spite of the circumstances.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habbakuk 3:17-18

We wedded at our favorite restaurant, Armonia in Fukuchiyama. This was where we had our first date on March 19th, 2020. Two years later, who would have thought we would get married in the same place? It was the perfect venue for our intimate wedding. It felt like dining at home with family and friends in the presence of God. We encountered technical difficulties during our live-streaming via Zoom because it snowed and rained a little, but it all turned out more beautiful than we imagined it to be. 

Since the wedding was during my spring break, we had a short but enjoyable honeymoon in Osaka. Thank God my husband took two days off from work! We had so much fun in USJ. We were able to release all the stress we got from wedding planning. It was our first time at Harry Potter and it turned out to be our favorite. Afterward, we stayed in a hotel in Namba, Osaka, and ate a hearty sushi dinner. Then the next day, we drove to Philippine Consulate General Osaka to apply for the Report of Marriage and walked outside the Osaka Castle grounds enjoying our first hanami as husband and wife.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6 NIV

Love is amazing. For us, this is illustrated in Romans 15:5-6. It was the verse that God shared with me when I was praying for my life partner in Odaiba, Tokyo in October 2013. I really had no idea about the future that God already planned for me then in Japan. This is God's love.

Seeing Grace

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful." ~1 Thessalonians 5:24

I would say that the four-month planning for our August wedding in the Philippines and the wedding itself were God's miracles. It was hard to search for the best suppliers online without meeting them in person. But I was able to benefit from my family and friends' experiences and the internet gave away a lot of information too. Discovering an e-invite website called withjoy.com (see ours here Kaye and Kensho) saved us from the costs of printed invitations and delivery. Zoom was also very useful for communication. Though the flight tickets skyrocketed because of the high demand and the low number of planes flying from Japan, we were able to afford it with God's provision.

The pandemic made a lot of things challenging but there were answered prayers too. While searching for venues with the help of my mother, I suddenly came across an article that outline the intimate venues in Quezon City. Lemuria Fine Dining Restaurant fit exactly what we wanted---simple, homey yet classy with good food and location. It fits us as a couple so well. God also provided for all the suppliers. Though the decision-making was tough due to financial reasons, He taught us to trust Him.

We wanted the officiating pastor to be my father's disciple during their Tokyo University days who became one of the head pastors of Tokyo Baptist Church. It so happened that he and his wife were also flying to the Philippines to visit their family in August. They happily agreed to attend our wedding and so, we were able to set the wedding day after they arrived in Manila. God truly plans everything and sometimes it takes years to see the fruits. 

We were grateful that my husband's mother, sister, and brother were able to go to the Philippines and meet my family for the first time. Unfortunately, his father and second cousin, who also happened to be his best man, couldn't come. As for my family's side, my father got sick a few days before the wedding and my cousin from Hungary, who was my best woman, couldn't come too. Some of our families and friends couldn't make it for health and work-related reasons as well. Because of a world crisis, we understood that this would happen and we were just so grateful that everyone was safe and covid-free.

I couldn't deny that walking down the aisle without my father hurt me the most. It was one of the top reasons why we had a second wedding in the Philippines. But I am truly grateful that his condition was not severe and we were able to see him well before and after the wedding. He even prayed for me and Kensho on the day of our flight back to Japan. It was a wonderful blessing. It brought me back to the emotions the day I left for Japan on my own for the first time but multiplied a hundred. 

Despite the setbacks, doing a second wedding in August allowed our families and friends to meet for the first time. It was such a beautiful reunion. We were able to see our loved ones after three years or more. The greater purpose was actually beyond being married to my life partner or whom I named *whoishe?* since high school. The most important thing is that God was glorified and the Gospel was shared with everyone. Kensho's family was able to meet Filipino Christians and their hearts were touched. Thank God for His amazing grace!

Seeing Stability and Growth

For the first time ever since I came to Japan, I did not move to a new city. It was a feat to have lived in the same apartment for almost two years. I really thank God because planning two weddings in a year, having a day job, saving for moving expenses, and moving to a new home were already making us busy and crazy. But He truly set everything in order.

I also received a new role as an International Girls Connect Group leader at church a few months before. Being an introverted person, I was filled with hesitation at first. I asked God, "Who am I to lead girls from different nations?" But I just said yes to my leader and transitioned from a substitute and co-leader to leading the group by myself. Through this, I also remembered my ultimate purpose of migrating to Japan. Hindi lang dahil Japan Japan sagot sa kahirapan. LOL. It is not only to continue sharing lives and learning from Japanese people. God wants me to grow by leading foreigners like me closer to Him. I should not run away or shy away from my purpose. I must continue to do the work that He has called me to do.

"For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints as you still do." Hebrews 6:10-11

Seeing Salvation 

Two weeks before the wedding in March, my husband got baptized. He wanted to do it sooner but he felt it wasn't the right time due to the worsening covid-19 situation. I was surprised one day when he delivered the news after scheduling with the church pastor and his Bible study group leader. We traveled to Kyoto city and it all happened in a small ofuro or bathtub inside a church member's apartment. It was live-streamed to other members of the church. We were all filled with joy. It was surreal.

In September, my husband's brother and girlfriend attended church in Shibuya, Tokyo. Then in November, my husband's mother attended church with us. The following week, she attended an online small group and was baptized. Everything happened so fast. God's plan is amazing! We are now witnessing the seeds that God has planted in their hearts since their visit to the Philippines. "The Blessing" was perfect for our worship song at our wedding. We chose it to claim God's favor over our families.

"May His favor be upon you | And a thousand generations | And your family and your children | and their children and their children." The Blessing, Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes, & Elevation Worship

Seeing Joy

Traveling around Japan with my husband in May and June became an extension of our honeymoon. We weren't able to go abroad to celebrate due to health and travel restrictions. We were both asthmatic which made us at-risk. But we were blessed to be able to travel around Japan in his vintage cars and made good memories in places where we have never been together.

Moreover, seeing my family after two and a half years was very precious to us. Honestly, going home made us so busy and tired. But decluttering my room and cleaning our UP home was very therapeutic. We said goodbye to old things and kept those that matter. There were still a lot of things left to do before we move out of our UP home. My parents and brothers were also busy with work plus quarantine measures. Because of a new coronavirus outbreak, we couldn't go on a trip somewhere outside Manila. It was better to be safe than sorry. 

Seeing New Beginnings

In October, my husband and I were already on the brink of finding an apartment that fits. While I was complaining to him about my frustration, he opened his phone and suddenly found a new advertisement for a pet-friendly 1LDK apartment. It was located in Ayabe, my first home in Japan, and where we first met. It was the place God was referring to me in Genesis 28:15-16. 

We called the real estate agent the following day and looked at the videos and pictures more. Even though it wasn't available for viewing yet due to a tenant living in it, we knew it was the one. We found ourselves signing the papers at the second meeting. We were able to see the inside of the apartment two weeks before our moving-in date in December. It was almost three months of waiting. Every day, our excitement grew and we would tell each other, "I want to move, I want to move." The apartment turned out better than our imagination. 

Reserving a home without seeing it in person might seem ridiculous, but we prayed for it and claimed that God has chosen and prepared this place for us to start our life together. Though I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, for us it was a great example of exercising our eyes of faith.

Seeing Miracles

At the end of December and the beginning of January, I was able to meet my husband's grandparents. This was long overdue because I was afraid that I would not be accepted. My husband's grandmother was just fine. She was very kind and generous, giving us food and household stuff every now and then. But my husband's grandfather was a very strict man and everybody knew that it wasn't easy to get along with him. 

When my husband's grandfather met me, the exact opposite happened. He initially asked if I was his grandson's husband and welcomed me to his home with a big smile. He willingly showed his interest in history by bringing out some historical books, one of which was a book on Japanese colonial times in Asia. When he handed me the book, he apologized for Japan conquering the Philippines in the past even though it wasn't his fault at all. But I could feel the sincerity and he really understood what happened then. He also took notes about my name, hometown, and university on his planner. What he saw or felt in me, I don't know yet, but I am grateful for that miraculous moment. 

Thirteen years ago, a family friend once told me, "Everything will flash before your eyes." I now understood what he meant. To be able to see through our eyes, we must be closer to God. We have to refocus when our vision gets blurry and be sensitive to God's leading, especially the redirections. With His guidance, we receive a valuable gift --- the ability to see beauty beyond what our natural eyes can see. I believe the same for everyone. If we cast our eyes on Jesus (Psalm 123:2), we can possess a greater sense of sight.

2023 started a little tough for me. But with a brand new perspective, I believe that this season is bringing tremendous growth that would help me reach God's greater plans. 

On December 31st, I spent my quiet time hearing from God and just listening to Him. I would like to stand by this verse as we undergo growth this year.

"Jesus said, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that does not produce fruit. He also trims every branch that produces fruit to prepare it to produce even more. You have already been prepared to produce more fruit by the teaching that I have given you. Stay joined to me and I will stay joined to you. No branch can produce fruit alone..." John 15:1-4 ERV

Three months have already passed but I am still decreeing a fruitful year ahead for all of us! 

Let's #Grow2023 to the full!

The first faith test happened at the beginning of the year when I resigned from my job, began a new job, and moved cities for the second time in Japan. I wrote about it in this blog, "The Art of Changing Homes," which I wasn't able to share due to life getting in the way. I really thank God for taking care of the whole process and bringing me to my new destination safely.

Like many Filipinos abroad, the pandemic brought the toughest faith test to me. Not seeing my family and baby pets for two years was very difficult. I could imagine the hearts of others who haven't gone home for more than three years. Though we had a lot of audio/video calls throughout the year, nothing beats the physical presence of loved ones. However, God surrounded me with the right people during the pandemic who became my support system in Japan. Eventually, my worry-wart nature subsided and as a result, I was able to build strong bonds and friendships with the people He placed around me. The key for me is to support others in the best way that I could and the support goes back. 

"I will save you, and you will be a blessing." Zechariah 8:13 NIV

Anticipate Healing

This pandemic has also taken a lot of beautiful things from my family such as going home for my brother's wedding, building the dream house that we love, and receiving complete healing for the sick loved ones. But God's plans are higher and beyond what we could ever imagine (Isaiah 55:8-9). Instead of focusing on the negatives, I directed myself to acceptance and recreation and I achieved mental and spiritual healing. But of course, it still broke my heart when I heard sad news from people. The best thing that I could do is pray. Despite this, I am just grateful that many of our family and friends are alive and we're fighting the good fight of faith together. 

In my new and humble hometown, I also found healing for a health problem that I have been battling for a long time. Who could have thought I would find treatment here of all places? The clinic was just a five-minute walk from my apartment. Another surprising fact was the doctor could speak and understand English. So, I was able to go alone after my first visit. The effects of the medicine made me worry at first. But then I just trusted God and found out that it suits my body after all. As for the expenses, God provided everything. 

Anticipate His Help Through Others

I also learned how to receive help from people, which was a little tough because I grew up strong and independent with "Kakayanin ko 'to" attitude. Lol. Another fact was my love language of service was depleting due to summer vacation at that time. When I received help, oftentimes I felt that there was a need to give back at once. I really don't like the concept of "utang na loob" practiced in Filipino culture. Because I'm in Japan and living alone, it's natural that people would offer more help to me than me giving to them. So, I started changing my old mindset. I must continue to think that people help or give something because it is in their hearts to do it without receiving anything in return. Though some people treat others like this, right? Huhu. But then it's not healthy for me to think of people's intentions this way. I should also be kinder to myself and allow others to help me.

Anticipate Transformation

My character was also transformed as I dealt with social situations wherein I had to practice "pakikisama" to the nth level. It was easy for me to stick to my beliefs and ways, but it was a challenge to adjust to people from a different culture. Socializing has always been awkward and difficult, especially around people that I do not know well. I could be misunderstood or disregarded which was often caused by a lack of speaking up or direct communication. But when I knew that my heart and intentions were pure, I just let go of the need to be understood and allowed people to make their own choice of action. By God's will, I believe that things come and go; people come and leave. Everything works out in the end, always for the best.

Anticipate Promises Fulfilled

In 2019, my birthday wish was to achieve permanence in my life and I had faith in God that He would fulfill it. I am sure that placement is a different story due to the nature of my job and my ever-changing plans in life. Yet, exactly a year later, God gave permanence in a form of a person--Kensho, my kareshi (boyfriend), and soon, someone I will spend the rest of my life with. In God's perfect time, I met *whoishe?*, the guy in my weird dream in high school, whom I've not spoken about for a decade or so. God is so good and faithful! I also have an idea about where I will live at least for the next couple of years. It's now legit! Japan is home. 

The verse below was the Lord's promise when I was sitting alone in Odaiba, Tokyo, and praying for God to direct my heart to the right person. Kensho was not a Christian when I met him two years ago. But he is now building an intimate relationship with God. This verse is now rhema, God's Word in action.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6

During the last night of 2021, Kensho and I found ourselves doing the Marriage Preparation workbook. We began chapter 4: Goals at the perfect time. Writing faith goals and new year's resolutions was something that I've done since high school to singlehood. It marks as a sign that from now on,  I can look forward to doing the goal-setting with God and someone beside me to build dreams, fulfill goals, and pray with. It excites me even more that there is a great future, intricately designed for us, that we can embrace.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14 (March 12, 2021)

Passing the faith tests wouldn't be possible without God's guidance and leading. About ten years ago, a family friend prophesied, "You will see everything flash before your eyes. For this prophecy to come to pass, you need to believe and focus on God." 

Some of the things that I've been praying for then just happened last year. Truly enough, it takes anticipation, perseverance (Hebrews 10:36), and a leap of faith to believe in His promises, to keep seeking and asking, and to do His will. We need faith to look beyond what we can see and say that the Lord is good. 

Despite the saddening situation in the world, I still anticipate and decree that we can #SEE2022 with fresh eyes of faith and witness more blessings and miracles. May we taste His love pouring like wine in every area of our lives. 

Cheers to a fresh year and a great future ahead!

あけましておめでとうございます！[Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!]

Whether virtual or in person, thank you for being a memorable part of my year. <3

I decreed that 2019 is a year of transcendence--living out in faith, seeing beyond, and traversing the world's borders. I aimed to rise above the limitations and restrictions in life and experience the unimaginable gifts God has in store. It involved many acts of surrender and trust in Him, believing that the good work He has started in me and my loved ones will be completed because He is faithful (Philippians 1:6). In the process, I have learned to develop a grateful and patient heart. 

Last last Sunday's preaching in my home church was all about gratefulness. It was also the same thing that God was teaching me throughout the year. I started to reflect about the past year/s on my birthday last October. A friend suggested that I create a gratitude list. As my way of saying goodbye to 2019, I wanted to share my "Thank You"s to God and hopefully, whoever's reading will also think of their own and be in a spirit of thanksgiving. 

"Thank you for giving me wings."

At an altar call during last year's prayer and fasting, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the stage to stand in faith that I am called to go to the nations. For the very first time in my life, I was sure. On March, I embarked on a journey towards Japan, the country that I have loved dearly since I was born. I experienced a lot of firsts--first time to be separated from my family for a long time, first time to set foot on Kyoto, first time to live independently, including renting an apartment, paying for my bills and expenses, doing all the cleaning, groceries, cooking, and laundry all by myself. I even invested on cultivating my green thumb. Living independently was extremely challenging. But I learned a lot about adulting that made me become a better version of myself. In God, I found wisdom and strength amidst the hardships and homesickness. It was like living out Isaiah 40:31:

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." (NLT)

"Thank you for the gift of teaching and sending me to Japan."

God is now reminding me of the promises and purposes for me in Japan. Many times I wonder how this journey will turn out. Sometimes I wonder about my home country. Is it okay to leave the Philippines? Am I using what I have learned in special education, reading education, and MA extensively? Then I always find myself going back to Abram's story when he said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that later became his home:

"Now the Lord had said to Abram (Kaye)
'Get out of your country,
From your family
And from your father's house,
To a land that I will show you,
I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
And you shall be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.'"
Genesis 12:1-3

I may just be a foreigner and stranger in Japan (Genesis 17:8) but He can use me wherever He has placed me. I am teaching in a new environment where I could learn, relearn, and unlearn things. Nothing is wasted because all will make sense in the end. I love being a Filipino in Japan and I love the Philippines. I believe God has a greater purpose why He brought me out of it and He sees my obedience to Him.

I believe that the place of calling is not limited to where a person was born or raised. In fact, God brings us to new places where He transforms our lives and uses us to manifest His glory. When He has given us a land to possess, whether in a form of a new workplace, business, or home, take the great leap of faith and claim it. This is a rare opportunity in a timely season to grow and be used by God.

"Thank you for making the world small."

I appreciate technology more when I moved abroad. My family, friends, and I communicated through different social networking sites and apps. Nothing beats talking in person. But the timely audio and video calls helped ease the loneliness and fear-of-missing-out (FOMO). 

I am really thankful for the short distance between Japan and the Philippines. I didn't expect that I would be able to go home twice this year. God surprised me with cheap flights last summer. Take note: July to August is a perfect time to search for low fares to and from Japan. It's also another way to escape the scorching summer heat. Another blessing is when my parents were also able to visit me. Though they visited separately, we were able to spend quality time. They were able to see my apartment and the community I lived in, visited some tourist spots, and met my new friends. All God-ordained.

"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him," 1 Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)

"Thank you for the divine appointments."

The divine appointments throughout the year were all laid out beautifully. I met people from different parts of the world, became involved in organisations within the community, and developed good relationships with my co-teachers and students. 

During my eight months here in Japan, one of the beautiful things that God has done is that He has given me a new spiritual family in Kyoto. I first discovered a Protestant church in Ayabe. Though the preachings were entirely in Japanese, the church members are really kind and generous. Early November, I was able to attend a church in Kyoto, one that I found online before I came to Japan. The vision and mission of the church is quite similar to my home church in Manila. The people are also very friendly. I could freely speak about my faith in God with them. The only problem is the location which was 1.5-2 hours away from Ayabe. Sharing breakthroughs with people face to face is really essential to my spiritual growth. So I aim to visit the church once or twice a month. I entrust God the expensive and long train rides. I also wish to improve my Japanese so I could speak with more Japanese people.

These churches were answered prayers. I am grateful that God not only connected me to one church but two. I am so excited to build friendships with the people, grow, and serve Him through the church.

And last but not the least...

"Thank you for your presence always."

I know that I am not alone because I have God. I am not lonely because I can easily talk to Him wherever I go. I see His steadfast love and faithfulness in all things. 

"And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13, NKJV

Transcending 2019 doesn't happen in a year. In fact, my transcendent phase in Japan has only just begun. I look forward to more growth and change. I also claim that this year is a time to reap the seeds we have sown in the past decade--deeper intimacy with God, love shared in the family, friendships built through the years, passions cultivated, health restored, career and mission paths chosen, personalities and hearts shaped. At the end of every year, we strive for things that are eternal rather than temporary.

To be honest, I am entering this new year without any clear steps. I don't know what will happen. I am not sure of anything. But I trust God. I have faith in Him. Though He will lead me to the unknown, He will lay out an #Unimaginable2020 before my eyes.

I decree that an abundant harvest is waiting for us. Let's reap with faith and joy!

Happy New Year!

Transcending and Grateful,

K



"Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust Him along the way you'll find He pulled it off perfectly." Psalm 37:5 (The Passion Translation)

When 2018 began, I felt that I would undergo changes and I had to be brave enough to face them. Fear was not completely eradicated when I underwent each change but I learned to persevere and sought God in the process. I believe hurdles are essential for the courage in us to grow.

The previous year refused to back down on me. I entered January with a panic attack. During the holiday break, I was revising my drafts for final submission. At the end of the month, the requirements were completed and my thesis was officially approved by the faculty. I was geared for graduation by God's grace.

Come February, the doors in Japan that I found in 2017 closed. I was determined that I will find another. I am grateful to my family and friends who prayed and supported me. While waiting, I held on to Philippians 1:6:

“Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” Philippians 1:6

I decreed that 2018 will be filled with the unexpected for God moves in suddenlies. When I started trusting Him with every area of my life, He opened new doors for me and closed the ones I need to walk away from.

In this blog, I want to share how God moved while I was #BravingOut2018. These new and old revelations unearthed in various events throughout the year made me brave.

Pray God-sized prayers. Dream God-sized dreams.

Finding a job that will fit my current situation was difficult. Most companies and schools would want an employee who could stay for a year or more. So I started as a freelancer. At first, it was difficult for I was independent of support from an employer. But God is amazing in connecting people. I taught two kids who had difficulty in reading in UP Diliman. I had no idea if it would work but it did. I started dreaming and proclaiming about a job where I will be passionate, use my skills and gifts, be mentored and gain various experience from, and rejoice in my labor.

April to May was my training ground season. While my student took a summer vacation, I started a job where I applied my MA in Reading Education in a clinical setting for a summer program. It wasn’t an easy feat but it was a stretch that I needed.

In July, I was waiting patiently on God for financial breakthroughs. My online business, Eye for Brands, encountered internal and external issues and I needed to pause for two months. God was faithful because a new supplier came in September. Despite the struggles, I was able to enjoy my labor. An example was enjoying a fitness activity again.

God always has the resource ready for the assignment. The greater the assignment, the greater the resource. The fear of asking God for BIG things due to timidity and spirit of lack must lessen. How could we be so afraid to ask when He could move beyond our dreams and imagination?

Obey God and fight for your destiny.

In May, I made a declaration that the enemy cannot steal my joy. I felt like my dreams were being taken away from me. I was scouting GaijinPot and other websites daily, revising my resumé for the nth time, and sending it through emails but receiving no response. It seemed like I was going nowhere. But I chose to praise God over my circumstances and be grateful. People told me to traverse a different path. They only led me to listen to God more. I have a God “who teaches me to profit, who leads me in the way I should go (Isaiah 48:17). I fought for my dream; the promotion in my Promised Land. Obedience was His word.

“Whoever obeys His command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure. For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him.” Ecclesiastes 8:5-6

God is our adamant. Because the Spirit of Christ dwells in us, therefore, we are immovable and unshakeable. We can win over anything.

Build your confidence in God.

Despite the feeling or rejection due to closed doors at the beginning of the year, the Lord made me believe in myself again. I graduated in June with my thesis nominated for Best Thesis Award, my father arriving at my graduation just in time, and a celebration with the whole family. My thesis was also accepted to a local and an international conference. I knew that the reason for these achievements were not to lift me up. It was to glorify God who offered redemption and vindication from the dreams that died in the past years. All things are possible with Him.

The moment that I started declaring and claiming my destiny, new doors opened. In the middle of May, I applied to an agency for a teaching job in Japan and attended an orientation. The tedious and lengthy process almost sucked my will out. In response, I tried to counteract every difficulty with prayer. In June, I passed the comprehensive job interview. In July, I prepared. In August, I passed the teaching demo. From September to early October, all the necessary requirements were completed. At the end of October, the company in Japan approved my application. During my job interview at the agency, the international director acted more like family. He reminded me that I have it all in me, I was bound to go to Japan, and my refined personality would fit there. He also stated that no matter what we’ve achieved in life, we are all the same. There is no room for arrogance, only humility. I couldn’t quite believe what I heard at first. Clearly, it was God speaking to me. Moreover, after three years of waiting, I was able to enroll in three consecutive Japanese language classes in UP Diliman. Thank God I passed two courses! This confirmed my journey to the land of the rising sun.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-37

I also learned that the highest central value in life is attitudinal—how we respond to what we experience in life matters. The key is to be proactive.

Come out of your comfort zone and experience His glory.

This year, my introverted personality was redefined. In August, God met me where I am when I presented my thesis in the International Conference on Teacher Education (ICTED). Instead of hiding in my shell, he pulled me out of my comfort zone to build connections with people in the educational field. I was so nervous but God took away my fears of not being liked, making a mistake, and not being good enough. My advocacy for children with autism propelled me to go. God doesn't want us to hide and stay in the "I'm OK" zone. He wants us to step out and witness MORE!

“I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfil His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]” Philippians 4:13 Amplified Version

Be kind and speak truth to thyself and others.

I experienced numerous faith tests in relationships in 2018. I let myself be affected by other's people's perceptions of me. It caused me pain. I lost my confidence and I messed up. God has been good and faithful as always. God gives and takes away. But He also redeems and restores relationships.

Through Him, I learned to be kind to myself. I accepted that I am a work in progress. I also declared that I was not born to be a people pleaser and a push-over. I also learned the value of speaking an encouraging Truth about God's will for that person rather than pointing out their mistakes; to give constructive feedback in a gentle and loving way and ample praise at the right moments without hesitation; and to be consistent with my thoughts and actions around others. Moreover, I fully accepted the fact that I couldn't change people and their ways. I could only leave that to God. I prayed to God to remove the spirit of timidity, vulnerability, and inconsistency in me. Accepting change and allowing ourselves to undergo transformation show tremendous courage.

Entrust everything to Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

2018 was about choices. There is a time to choose battles and there is a time to choose peace. There is a time to say yes and a time to say no. In August, new doors were opened. I applied as an assistant researcher in a university and as a reading specialist in a non-profit organization. My application went well but not well enough for them to give me the job. The only reason was I was leaving for Japan soon. I surrendered and chose to believe in God. My security was anchored upon Him. At the end of September, the non-profit organization suddenly offered the job to me again. After seeking God's will, I learned the timing was so right for I just finished the requirements for Japan, and I received the answer in Ephesians 5-9. The job was a gift from Him, sealed with gladness of heart, wisdom, knowledge, and joy. I shouldn't fear if the job is beyond my knowledge and abilities for this is the perfect place to be in this season where I could find favor. When I accepted the offer, He started to reveal more of Himself in the new land. My schedule worked out for I was still able to teach in one-on-one reading intervention sessions. There were times when I felt inadequate, tired, and stressed. But He surrounded me with a new family at work. And I just kept declaring His Word and entrusted everything to Him.

I chose to heed to God's leading. I chose to enjoy the pressing and stretching period. I chose to change my perspective in relationships. I chose to love. I chose to accept others for who they are. I chose joy. In numerous events, I chose to make the most out of every opportunity. I chose to glorify God above all.

Among all these learnings, I learned the true definition of being brave. It's not about being the strongest and most skilled to fight. It's not about winning every battle to earn and receive recognition. True courage is seen in the encouraging words we share with our loved ones; a kind gesture shown to a person unkind to us; and a decision to love and understand others despite the differences and the pain. It is also demonstrated by an individual stepping into unknown places where he/she is called without knowing what lies ahead. It is seen in a person surrendering his/her life and dying to self every single day.

Braving out requires great faith. And courage only comes from the Lord. As 2019 begins, I pray God will give us the ability to transcend every circumstance with courage and joy. May we rise above and go beyond the barriers that limit and bind us in order for us to experience the full and abundant life that He offers. May our faith carry us to greater heights with Him in 2019!


“The glory of the present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,” says the Lord Almighty. “And in this place, I will grant peace,” declares the Lord Almighty.” Haggai 2:7-9

Happy New Year!

Every year, God gave me a theme to live by. For 2017, He gave me Overflow and Peacekeeper. He promised an overflow of love, joy, and peace. It was a year that started with tears and ended with laughter and thanksgiving. He gifted me with 12 fruitful lessons, one for each month, which I summarized in four parts. I hope God speaks to you through these.

God First Above Everything

The beginning of the year was a ground-shaking moment. God impressed me He is first above everything. There were losses and gains---amazing Prayer and Fasting, financial provision, a new venue for learning (EdPsych!), death in the family, a new door of opportunity to study abroad, and loss of a laptop that contained all my thesis files. The latter was the most devastating of all because I expected to graduate in June. But if you read my blog about this, Losing My Life for God's Glory, the Lord turned everything into good (Genesis 50:20).

Through this rollercoaster of events, God reminded me of who He is and His position in my life. When things were becoming chaotic, I mended things my way or with the help of others first. But God wanted me not to rely on human power but on Him alone (Zechariah 4:6). I need to let go of my selfish desires and started focusing on God and His will. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. His ways are higher than our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9). No person or thing can fill the top position in our lives which is His from the beginning. He must increase, but we must decrease (John 3:29-30). I learned how to die to self (still learning). As a result, I felt more awe at Him than ever before.

Honor God's Process

I resonated with one quote of Pastor Steve Furtick, "If we honor God's process, He will honor His promise." The process is the most nerve-wracking time of all. I had so many reasons to quit my dreams. I felt confused and discouraged with the way things were heading. In the middle of the year, the results of my applications abroad almost led me to the finish line. But it suddenly turned into a different direction. A close call! Our 11-year-old Akita, Yuki died. I gained severe asthma after attending a friend's wedding. I got so frustrated with myself for not meeting deadlines and making mistakes. While recovering from sickness, I was writing my revisions and finishing everything in a rush. By God's grace, I survived it all. But He reminded me of two things regarding the season before the victory.

First, the process involves trials of many kinds (James 1:2). There is a room for failure. There is a room for hibernation. Nothing is wasted. It is part of the process of becoming who I am called to be. After weeks of contemplation, I saw delays as God's divine strategies. I realized, "Progress no matter how little is still progress. Maybe slow progress is what I need to enjoy life. I am thankful for what I've done everyday." God was working while I was eating three or more meals a day, finishing an MA, living in my parent's house, having enough time to build relationships with people, receiving financial provision, sleeping in a comfy bed, and being surrounded by pet animals (yes, that's heaven). There were so many little things to find joy in! My perspective changed. I marched forward. Even though the present and the future were blurry, God wasn't. I pressed on and clung to Him more. He allowed me to reach certain sublevels as preparation for the higher levels He set for me. To win this game of life, don't quit. Pass the testsss! He is doing a good work and He is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

Second, the process is determined by God. No matter how great we are in planning, His plans prevail (Proverbs 16:9). It's like having a travel itinerary with every plan scraped off. But the outcome is sweet! Since June, I felt God's presence as I prepared for my final defense. It was a lengthy and tiring process, not to mention it was rescheduled three times. When I defended my research study and passed it last September 11, God and I bombed two towers of the enemy that day, The Tower of Fear and the Tower of Stagnation. I was in perfect peace. I felt the battle has been won even before my panel said, "Passed!" That was all God moving for me. It was the right time. It couldn't be too early or too late. Just like what Pastor Erwin said in a preaching at church, "God never forgets. He is never late." God used the sufferings to stretch my character (patience to the nth level!!!). He tested my faith: "(Karen) FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1." He crafted every detail of His plan so well, considering the innermost desires of our hearts.

Shifting Focus to the Right Door

God allowed different doors to open this year. However, he had to close some of them so I could shift my focus. Instead of standing by closed doors, I followed Him into the right door. He assured me that the rest will follow as long as I adhere to his leading. I prioritized my thesis. While working on it, He reminded me I need people. Being an independent person and a multi-tasker, I am used to doing things on my own and juggling things at the same time as long as I could bear them. He provided me strength. But He also emphasized that I am not meant to do this alone. That struck me so hard. I humbled myself and sought help. He strategically placed people to help me at the right time. It also turned into an opportunity to advocate and raise awareness for Children with Autism.

When God placed people in, He took out some. During this season, I focused more on loving myself and valuing people present in my life. I spent my time building those relationships and letting go of people and things I could not change. I also learned to be less sacrificial with my time (my love language) and to say "no" to people. It was a maturing stage for me. I threw away the "push-over Kaye" and stood up for myself and for what I believe in even though people disagreed. I listened to God alone. Aside from God uplifting me, He also humbled me down. I refocused on what matters---asking for forgiveness for my mistakes, forgiving others for hurting me, and loving despite the pain. As a disciple, He warned me about the difficult people I meet. When I attended a Biblical Counseling Training in Tokyo Baptist Church, He spoke clearly, "You will not change people. I am the only one who does that. It's not about you. It's about me. Surrender the people you counsel to me. That burden is not yours to take." That lifted the heavy load off and freed me.

God also had me undergo a self-check every now and then to refocus my goals. He reminded me this: Strive to be your most beautiful self with honed character rather than fame, merits, riches, and titles. Empty yourself and keep learning. There is nothing wrong with gaining these. But these temporary things must not consciously and unconsciously distract us from Him.

Reiterating John Ortberg's quote in "All the Places to Go," every time God closes a door, he's up to something. Thank God for closed doors!

Strong and Courageous But Brave Enough to Surrender

My decrees about graduating in June and studying and working abroad crumbled down in July. I could have given it all up. But His peace caused me to become the opposite: strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9). Instead of questioning Him, I rested in His Word: "In the day of trouble, He will keep me safe in His dwelling, He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock." (Psalm 27:5) I decreed His life promise to me in Isaiah 54 again. I surrendered to Him, "Lord, I've done my part. Now, take control from here." His plans started to make sense since then.

A business opportunity and a new passion flourished. Hello, Eye for Brands! Hello, Weaving!

An opportunity to travel in Japan and live like a local for 30 days came as a surprise (after a long travel hiatus). Okiniiri!!!

My research journey has reached its peak. Kaunting-kaunti na lang!!! Hello, Graduation!!!

New job opportunities abroad came (still praying for the outcome).

It was the perfect illustration of this verse:

Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. - Romans 8:18

2017 was indeed a year of acceleration. This year, my life underwent a reshuffle for God's glory. God removed things to give space to greater ones. I met new people of different nationalities. I braved out of my comfort zone. I learned and relearned things. Some dreams were wrecked and some took slower than I expected while some happened in a flash. But I have never felt safer. There were many reasons to mourn but there were more reasons to get up and dance with God through it all.


The Lord's love, joy, and peace overflowed despite the sufferings in 2017. I hope and pray that you also experienced an overflow in your life. It occurred to me when I put God first above everything, honored the process before His promises, shifted my focus and heeded to His direction, and stood strong and courageous yet brave enough to surrender to His will. His presence is sufficient for us to live a full and an abundant life.

In 2018, let's keep declaring Him as our Peacekeeper. Let's continue claiming His faithfulness in our lives. I will start with one of these verses that my best friend and I have decreed throughout last year. It was so timely because the theme of our church's Prayer and Fasting 2018 is "Ephesians for Christ." 

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us..." -Ephesians 3:20
It's time to face the unexpected in 2018! Cheers to a year of crossing over (attraversiamo) and braving out!

Always Love,
K

"If we cut off their tongues and forbid the Christians speech, they love with their hands, with their feet, and with their eyes, they love always and everywhere until their last respiration."

This is my love life. This is how I want to love my Maker, my Husband (Isaiah 54). I am in love with none other than Jesus, my Lord and Saviour.

2016 was not the year when I started falling in love with God. But I became more intentional with Him this year. I wanted to know Him more than to merely see His promises come to pass. It was all about Him and His steadfast love and faithfulness for me. I have always known that He could love me that much. But I never knew that that kind of love could be enough for me.

In the previous year, God started building my faith into a whole new level. I had greater faith in Him. When I entered 2016,  I declared that He is Emmanuel (God with us). Throughout the year, I did not doubt Him when things get shaky or out of control. Instead of complaining and worrying, He taught me to focus on Him. He taught me how to listen, obey, and be still. He revealed more of His character and how much He loves me. This is the ultimate reason why this year was better than the previous years and why I am looking forward to the best years ahead. God is not yet finished with those He loves. He is going to do more and more amazing things for us. Why? Just because He loves us. Supernaturally.

This supernatural love could only be learned from God. While I was reading Luke chapters 23 and 24, I was crying. It was the time when the authorities insisted on Jesus' death even though He did not commit anything wrong. He was just and sinless in their eyes. But He was crucified. On our behalf, He asked God to forgive us for our sins because we did not know what we were doing. To be loved like that and to be taught how to love like that is a gift. Nobody deserved it. But Jesus did it anyway because of His love for us. That is His selfless, supernatural, unconditional love.

Before 2016 comes to an end, I want to write about how God showed His love to me as an act of gratitude to Him. It might be different from how God expressed it to you this year. But I'm sure there is one thing in common. It showed the depth and magnitude of His love.

"His unconditional love is limitless."

I felt God's limitless love when I started being a full-time student in April. I was jobless, broke, and delayed in the thesis calendar and life goals I have set for myself. I asked Him about the reasons for the sufferings repeatedly. I did not lose my faith. But I was crying out to Him and begging Him for quick solutions.

For each time, He did not turn His back on me. He faced me, assured me of His promises, and loved me. Despite my imperfections, His love did not cease. His love never ran out. He chose to continue loving. He provided solutions, both quick and lengthy, through financial support, new doors, encouraging and generous people, and countless little miracles. All I needed to do was be still and trust Him.

"His selfless love is shared."

Everyday, I asked God what He wanted me to do or learn from Him. It seemed that every place was a classroom. He was the teacher. Once, I felt the urge to buy something from a store in a mall. I ended up having a lengthy conversation with a saleslady. She told me that she was an inactive Christian who could not go to church anymore due to her work. She also has a baby girl. She was worried about so many things. In short, she was in a total mess. Before I left the store, I asked her if I could pray for her and she agreed happily. She was so grateful after that. As for me, I was in awe about how God used me to show compassion and love to a stranger. One visit to a store turned out to be a divine meeting.

From that day on, I asked God to use me to encourage and spread His love to others. If we have God in ours heart, then we must be overflowing. Other people need Him too. Even though we're tired, we're not being loved, or we're facing problems, we can still be a channel of His love to others. It may be difficult at times. But are we willing to die to ourselves in order to share God's love to His people? It is how God loves. He loves even though there is a need for sacrifice, even though there is not so much to gain from it.

"His supernatural love is satisfying."

Like most women, I have always dreamt of a man who would sweep me off my feet one day. I have always prayed about him. I entered this year with a brand new and restored heart. But in the middle of the year, I started to look for ways to meet new people. In this day and age, I considered the Internet as a possible venue. But a few days after, I laid on the floor, closed my eyes, and conversed with God in the middle of a Worship and Prayer Night at church. God asked me two questions. His first question was, "How do you feel about it?" I told Him that I felt so bad. I could not imagine telling my future husband about talking to numerous men before him, scanning each one, in order to select someone that matches me. There is nothing wrong with meeting people in the Internet just as long as it is God's will for your love life. Moving away from it was a decision based on my own conviction. I could not handle it like other people could. In short, it was not God's will for me. The second question was, "Don't you trust my divine algorithms or match-making?" He reminded me about my dream as a young girl. I dreamt of meeting the one in a bookstore or in a very movie-like face-to-face interaction. He asked me, "Would you settle for something less when you could have the best 'cute meet'? I could do it. I am your matchmaker." So I surrendered it to Him and let Him write our love story the way He planned it.

Everything started to change. God changed my heart into a heart that yearns for Him alone. It was not fixed on finding my life partner. It was focused on knowing Him and experiencing His steadfast love and faithfulness. To the world, my relationship status would be described as lonely, boring, and loveless at my late 20s. But to me, this season was joyful, exciting, and full of love. I am in a relationship with my Father, the Great Lover Himself. I do not need to worry about anything for His love lasts and satisfies. It is all I could ever need in this season.

If you find yourself looking for a love that is limitless, overflowing, and satisfying, enter a love life with God first. It is the best love story one could ever have. The love story that we are yearning for with another person begins with Him. In order for us to fully love another person, we must learn to love like God. He is going to prepare us for that journey but we must die to ourselves and love Him first. In return of our love for Him, His peace that transcends all understanding will fill us (John 14:27; Philippians 4:7). We do not need to worry about our identity or our worth. God's love consumes us.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." -Lamentations 3:22-23

This is the steadfast love that I found in 2016. I hope and pray that those who haven't experienced God's love seek it and find it with all their hearts (Jeremiah 29:13). May His love in us continue to overflow.


"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." 
-Matthew 22:37

Cheers to your best year yet! (:

K

Despite the lack of posts for two weeks due to work and studies, I have been wanting to write about what 2014 has been doing in my life.

In January, I celebrated the new year with my family in our humble home. We didn't light up any firecrackers but we still ate food and greeted each other at midnight. I also spent that morning traveling to Olongapo with my Mom, two titas, and one cousin. We visited the Merzas, our relatives from my grandmother's side.  Since it was a day trip, we traveled back home early in the afternoon. That night, I went to Genesis bus terminal in Cubao with two of my greatest college friends and we traveled to Baler, Aurora. We surfed, practiced yoga, ate, and visited one beautiful tourist spot. Being with the family and friends was a great trip to start the year.

A day of firsts.

Classes resumed once more and I was back to work and to my MA classes in Eduk. Though I missed the Christmas vacation a lot, I was energized and off to a good start. I also fasted for 5 days alongside my Victory churchmates. God guided me in making my faith goals. This time, I survived liquid fast and one-two meals each day. There was also another great challenge that God made me face. It was to stand up for my rights as an employee and let our voices be heard. After the meeting, our concerns were addressed and every detail was explained as it was supposed to be from the start. All thanks to God!

Back to school with a smile (:

February was filled with love.  Despite the great list of things to do, I felt God's love everywhere I went. I rekindled myself in His embrace as I faced each day. He guided me when I wrote the students reports and conducted the Parent-Teacher Conferences. He also boosted my strength when I started writing and rewriting my mock thesis Chapters 1 and 2 and preparing my Chapter 3 for my Educational Research class. Also, God even gave me a greater challenge when I found out that I am supposed to write another set of Chapters 1-3 for my Special Education research class. I could not complain neither to God nor to my teachers. So I accepted the challenge with a calm heart and mind. I can do this through God who gives me strength! I also continued my yoga practice despite my lack of budget and time. I entrusted my financial concerns and time management to God. And so far, I have been attending at least once or twice a month. (:

Even my commitment to volunteer in church this year has been renewed. I am now committed to joining the Kids Church Ministry for it is the only ministry that I could afford to give my time. There is no need to practice throughout the week and no need to attend rehearsals on Saturdays or early Sunday mornings. I just need to be early before the service twice a month. Honestly, I will definitely miss Music Team. But the right ministry for me was part of my faith goals. I know God is leading me back to my first calling which is to teach.


As for Valentine's Day/Love Month, I  have enjoyed and learned a lot from the It's Not That Complicated series in church. I was also blessed by the lovely people who kept on showing me love and care and inspired to witness my future love story that God has started to write for me. I know it is going to be beautifully written. For now, I will continue to have wonderful dates with my God.

Though I am not sure what God has in store for me in March and the rest of the year, I am sure that he will give me challenges that I can face and breakthroughs that will bring me joy. I am inspired to do more things for Him!

I have finally finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I targeted reading the 12 monthly chapters every month from January to December. Now that I have finished the book, I find myself contemplating whether I was actually a happier person this year.

The Owl's answer is a big YES!

I actually feel much better and happier. Like there are more fireworks exploding (even though there is less or none at all). So because of this, I made a video like last year's The New Year to wrap up everything I aim for 2014 to be. Enjoy!

Happy happy happy New Year, everyone!

Love,
K

 

            Life has no ever-fixed mark. It is a pursuit to move forward, to add splendor, to meet a destination, and to keep moving forward again.