When I first found out that I was pregnant, I felt a mixture of emotions. My husband and I had been praying for a baby. Though we were married in March last year, we waited for our second wedding in August to be over and to return to Japan safely during the new coronavirus wave. More than six months passed until we tested for the first time. But we just experienced a false alarm. We just kept in mind that by God's will, the baby would come. 

A month later, we got pregnant. Though having a baby was an answered prayer, we were still in disbelief. I was worried about my job because I just started working in two new high schools. But the timing was actually more perfect than we could have imagined because I was given a driving position. Instead of commuting to work by bus or train while carrying a baby in my tummy, I had the convenience of driving a car. My husband also had a spare car for me to drive and there was enough time to repair it and enroll for insurance before the school year started. Also, teaching English in high school didn't need too much energy and time for material preparation. My job turned out to be just right for me!

But of course, as a first-time mom, I was filled with a lot of questions. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing or what to expect and prepare myself for. It made me really paranoid to read about pregnancy on the Internet too. I spent my free time researching, asking questions, and listening to the experts or people around me. Hopefully, in a series of blogs, I will be able to share what I've learned. Take note: I am still learning and definitely not an expert. 

Like all moms, there were many adjustments that I had to deal with. In this first blog, I want to share the things that I invested in and did not invest in during the three trimesters of my pregnancy. Having a baby is definitely not easy and cheap. But it doesn't need to be a burden and break the bank. What I enjoyed the most was actually researching and shopping for maternity stuff! *twirl dance* If you love shopping (especially online) like I do, then this blog could be for you. 

I consider myself a practical pregnant woman because I consider a lot of things before buying something. My ultimate goal is to invest in quality pieces. I chose items that have multiple uses and are durable, compact, and reasonably priced. My choices weren't all cheap but the quality makes them worth buying. Check out my personal list.

As a first-timer, especially a bookworm, my initial action was to read all about pregnancy. What to Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff is the best pregnancy bible to own. One of my closest friends, who already gave birth to three beautiful kids, was the first person to recommend it to me. She swore by the book. So, I quickly searched for a free PDF book on Google and found one. But it was a little difficult to read online because I needed to open the link, scroll, and find the chapter where I left off. So, I bought an actual book from Amazon Japan, which shipped from the US and received it a month later. It was a second-hand copy in very good condition. I just searched for good reviews and looked for the condition of the book that I could afford. It was almost brand new for only 767 yen. It was a little bulky to carry around though but it usually stayed by my bedside. You can also download the What to Expect application from the App Store or Google. I connected it to my email so I received daily and/or weekly articles and community discussions of mothers around the world who were in the same pregnancy season as me. 

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth was another recommended book by a church friend. She said the book convinced her to go for normal childbirth instead of having an epidural or painless childbirth. I was in awe of the various stories that I read about the experiences of mothers all over the world. Because of this, my fear of giving birth naturally subsided and made me surrender everything to God. My body is made in God's beautiful design and I should trust Him and allow my body to take on its natural course.

Five to six years ago, when I was still single, I started to use the free Flo application to track my period days which was another great recommendation from a friend. Friends really help a lot. So, just ask away! When I got pregnant, I started using the app to document my body condition and subscribed for a year to get daily advice about my pregnancy. I also did the physical workouts available such as prenatal yoga sessions per trimester. Each video is just a 10-15 minute workout which makes it doable. I highly recommend it!

When your growing belly is making it hard to sleep, having a maternity pillow, or だきまくら (dakimakura) in Japanese, could reduce the discomfort and help you relax in bed. The challenging part is to find the type of maternity pillow for you and your baby because not every pillow works for everyone.

For practical purposes, I wanted something that I could use not only during my pregnancy but also while nursing as well. So I chose to buy the Tamahiyo Body Pillow made in Japan. It is available directly on the Tamahiyo website and on Amazon Japan. The 100% organic cotton cover is removable and washable so it is very easy to clean. It's so comfortable that my husband steals it away from me sometimes. It makes my sleeping position intact with two legs wrapped around the lower part of the pillow and my arms around the upper part. My belly is situated perfectly around the hollow part in the middle. I look like a koala! Hihi.

During the latter part of the second trimester, I had to buy another type of maternity pillow because my tummy was getting bigger. It was harder to remain in a side position during the night. I usually twisted and turned and I felt the need for more support on my back as well. So I looked for a side sleeper wedge pillow. There were a lot of options from the most expensive to the cheapest ones. I was about to invest in an expensive Australian brand when I found a similar type for only 2599 yen on Amazon JP. It is also available in an H-shaped pillow type (wedge + long pillow) for 3290 yen, but I already have the Tamahiyo for my legs so that wasn't an option anymore. It was cheaper than the ones I saw in other online stores too. You can check out this pillow to see if it's available in your country as well. 

I compared all the belts that I could find online and at Nishimatsuya, the famous mother and baby store in Kansai. I ended up buying a British brand called BABYGO®  4 in 1 Pregnancy Belly Band Support. The shipping costs were a little expensive for me,  but I wanted a belt that I could use in all trimesters and even post-partum. It wasn't available on Amazon JP and US and their website doesn't ship directly to Japan so I ended up buying it on eBay. I should have shipped it to my brother while he was in the UK. But it was all right because I could get it quicker due to the express international shipping. 

The best thing about the BABYGO belly band is its versatility. There is no need to wear every band at once. You can gradually start from the first band during the first trimester to the beginning of the second trimester. I started to wear a belly band when I had to do morning or night walks outside for about 30 minutes or so. I also wore it to work sometimes during the second semester when my bump started to show and got bigger. But Japanese summer was very hot so I couldn't put it on it every day from July to September. Eventually in the third trimester, in autumn and winter, I was able to wear all three bands. It could also be used as a post-partum belly band to ease the recovery of the stomach and back.

I had a funny incident when two of the belly bands started missing. I was looking for the bands so I could wear them to support my aching joints around my hips and under my stomach. But I couldn't find them anywhere. I was worried that I left them at school or that they had fallen from my bag while I was getting in or out of the car in the parking lot. I really couldn't remember anything at all. When I came home on my second night of searching and wondering, my husband helped me look for it in our whole apartment. I was already complaining that it was an expensive belly band while my husband was telling me to let it go and buy a new one. Argh, I mumbled about hating my vintage brown leather bag because I really knew I put it there. And then after searching the whole apartment one more time, my "mommy brain" finally remembered where it was. I opened the side zipper at the back side of my bag and found the two bands folded inside. Whew! My husband just let out a laugh. Lesson learned: Put them all together in one tote or sack. 

I used to drink coffee at least once a day before coming to work. Sometimes, at work. Coffee makes me energized during the whole day and it improves my mood. Though my doctor told me I could drink up to 5 small cups of coffee every day (I couldn't believe her tbh), I didn't. I opted to be safer and only drank one cup on days when I felt I needed a boost. I also bought decaffeinated or caffeine-less coffee during my first trimester. But I stopped buying it because it was too expensive. Soon, I found an alternative to coffee, Teecino in iHerb, which is available in different flavors. I`ve tried the best flavors based on the reviews: French Roast and Vanilla Nut. I usually drip it with a washable coffee cloth and dripper. It tastes good enough for me, especially when you mix it with milk or add a little sugar. I actually like the French Roast better. 

Vanilla Nut

However, I had to stop drinking coffee and tea completely because these drinks are diuretics. They made me pee nonstop which was all right, but it was accompanied by discomfort or pain after urinating. The feeling was so uncomfortable that I'd rather just be sleepy. It was harder at work though because I had to stay awake at my desk especially when I had a lot of free time. Desk warming became worse. I substitute coffee for chocolate instead. It might be different for everyone so just limit your caffeine intake so your baby won't take in too much caffeine as well.

For hair, no sodium laurel sulfate. I also avoided getting my hair dyed or colored. There was not enough research to claim that coloring the hair is damaging to a pregnant woman and her baby. However, studies have shown that prolonged sitting on a salon chair and inhaling the chemicals from the dye could make a pregnant woman nauseous and tired.

Brands: Curel, Human Nature, Vaseline, Burt's Bees Mama Bees, Bioil, Palmer's, and The Face Shop

I have been limiting my skincare routine to washing with a mild facial wash that balances my PH levels in the morning, an oil control wash at night, and a natural moisturizer after every wash. I also add vitamin C or an eye cream and put on a moisturizing face mask when I feel like my face is getting dull and dark. Less is more.

Brands: CosRx, Cetaphil, Neutrogena, The Ordinary, and Beauty of Joseon

Brands: Melano CC Vitamin Serum & Human Nature (Eye Serum)

A massage is definitely a must-have! At first, I thought it wasn't good at any stage of the pregnancy. I was told that I could only get as far as foot massages. Eventually, I found out about prenatal whole-body massages that are safe to get during the second trimester. When I went home to the Philippines for a week, I took advantage of the cheaper options. I had it twice. The first one was two days after I arrived and another one was the night before our flight back to Japan. Both were very helpful and I was able to relax my tired body. Just make sure that the massage therapist is knowledgeable about prenatal/maternity massage. The first one that I had only asked me to sit down on a chair. They told me that certain points in the body must be avoided because it was dangerous for a pregnant woman. They also wanted me to sign a waiver. They were so afraid to get into trouble that they were already in a warfare mode. LOL. All they did was give me a massage on the back, leg, feet, and head. The second one was a home service massage and I specifically requested a whole-body prenatal massage. The therapist that they sent was more knowledgeable and she did it carefully, avoiding pressure on certain points on my body. 

On buying maternity clothes, I did trial and error too. I hoped that the things that I bought would fit me perfectly but a few didn't. It's all part of the process and in my next pregnancy, I know I could do better. I invested in some maternity clothes that I could still use after giving birth. Living in Japan, online shopping has been very convenient for me. H&M has a special clothing line called MAMA BEFORE & AFTER which sells comfortable yet stylish clothes. Some really good ones are a little pricey. But it's good to watch out for sales to get a discounted price. I also bought some clothes from SHEIN but be sure to check the sizes and the fabric used. It's a hit-and-miss. But I'm glad I bought really affordable maternity underwear and innerwear there. Cotton is the best friend of a pregnant woman's skin. The other shops that I've also tried were Uniqlo, and Pairmanon, a Japanese online store for mothers and babies with a basic yet European style. I also window-shopped innerwear in Muji but I ended up adding more bra tank tops from Uniqlo's Airism line instead. 

RELAX. Do anything that gives you joy. Sleeping well is really important. There were days when insomnia attacked and I couldn't get myself into bed. I just did stuff that made me productive even though it was already late at night. I knew that I would eventually get tired again and hit the sack. 

MOVE. Preparing for labor with yoga exercises helped my body a lot. I procrastinated several times but I got motivated to move and exercise for my baby's future. I knew she was weighing big so I really had to burn calories by watching my appetite. A yoga ball was recommended by friends. Sitting on a ball could also help my baby position downwards in a natural way. Trust the power of gravity! I ended up buying a medium-sized yoga ball on Amazon JP. I chose a dark purpl one, the color that gives me joy and matches the color of my yoga mat too I could use this ball for prenatal and postnatal yoga and exercises with my baby when her neck becomes stronger.

Apple Watch helps me track my movement daily; c/o hubby

It's also important to savor this last season of just you and your husband. Both of you are about to enter another different yet beautiful season. For moms who are not first-timers, spending time with their husbands and other children can help them adjust to changes when the newborn member of the family comes. In our case, being a fur mom and fur dad, we had to introduce our cat Rui to our new baby. Along with us, the feline adjusted to the baby slowly and surely. Baby steps.

***

I am now about to enter my fourth trimester. When I look back, among the three trimesters, the first trimester was the most challenging. My morning sickness happened literary in the morning which made me want to throw up everything I've eaten for breakfast--whether food or liquid. I couldn't drink my health supplements normally either. I had to take it one tablet at a time at different times of the day. 

While driving to work, sometimes I felt the need to throw up in the car but luckily, I never did. Then when I arrived at work and started teaching my first or second-period classes, I sometimes experienced headaches and dizziness. Because I threw up what I've eaten, my stomach wasn't full. When I arrived home, I was already very hungry. Sometimes, I threw up too. It was so hard to manage. My appetite just started to become stronger during the second semester. I was able to eat anything but the problem was I needed to watch out what I ate due to my growing stomach and baby, especially in the third trimester. I had to cut down on sugar to avoid Gestational Diabetes. 

I also had to care for an aching leg that made it hard for me to move sometimes. I felt a lightning crotch or a nerve pain on the left side of my pelvic bone. I remedy this with prenatal yoga exercises and the discomfort somehow subsides.

The demands of pregnancy really require us mommas to rest and take care of ourselves. All of the things I mentioned here are just examples of what you might or might not need during your pregnancy. This list could not apply to you or you need more than these. I hope it has enlightened you somehow about what you need or could do without. 

Remembering what my Mom told me, "Sige lang. Treat yourself. Make yourself feel better." Because pregnancy itself is already challenging, do something good for you and the baby but at the same time something that makes you feel relaxed and less stressed. 

You deserve it, fellow Momma! Pamper yourself.

Seeing 2022 with fresh eyes of faith was possible because of God. He opened my eyes to witness more of His glorious works not only in my life but in my family and friends' lives. I am grateful for seeing victory despite the difficult circumstances, basking in God's undying love, receiving His amazing grace, experiencing stability and growth, and enjoying the gift of salvation, joy, miracles, and new beginnings. I was able to see this verse come to life:

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Seeing Victory

The difficulty in acquiring my Japanese Driver's License still persisted until the end of February last year. I wanted the suffering to end so badly so I could concentrate on wedding planning. I was on the brink of giving up. But the encouragement and support that I got from my family, friends, and of course, my ex-fiancé and driving teacher motivated me to enroll in another driving lesson at Kyoto Driver's Licensing Center and take another test. When I let go, ignoring the costs and focusing on the prize, I passed!

The victory came from God. He brought me to this challenging situation to show me that it is neither about my ability to drive nor my driving test skills. This was all about testing my faith and seeing His power to make everything happen at the right time, place, and condition. 

Seeing God's Love

Engaged and set to plan my wedding in January, I was carrying a mixture of emotions. Before the end of winter break, we were able to form a wedding committee that consisted of me and my three teacher friends from different prefectures in Japan-- Kyoto, Hyogo, and Tokyo. As one of our first investments as an engaged couple, we were able to buy a good camera that has live-streaming features. Using this, we did a mini winter shoot for our DIY electronic wedding invitation and Facebook group page. Wedding services were so expensive so we planned to do it all without hiring a wedding planner and supplier. We also wanted to save the rest of our money for our wedding in the Philippines.

Come February, my then-fiancé and I finished our marriage registration at the city hall. We had to prepare a lot of papers in Japanese but we received help from a kind Japanese friend and finished everything at the right time. We also had our Marriage Preparation sessions with our church pastor and his wife and my Connect Group leader from Lifehouse Church Kyoto. We learned a lot about each other and God's purpose for our marriage. It was also during this time that we encountered another fire coming from an old house beside my apartment during the wee hours of the morning. It was bigger than the fire last December. My veranda was right in front of the window of the house. There was only one little parking space in the middle. We prayed to God for protection and thank God it didn't happen again. 

Even though we wanted our first wedding in Japan with our families, the pandemic still became worse and the borders remained closed. We hired a photographer, who was an acquaintance of our friend, and who takes photos with the simple, natural, dreamy vibe that we were aiming for. We had seven guests--the church pastor, three churchmates whom we hired and helped us, and three teacher friends who volunteered to do DIY with us. I was filled with a lot of anxiety about how everything would turn out. I also didn't expect that I would have bridal showers online and offline near the wedding day. But I am so grateful for the love, wisdom, and support from my closest friends from the Philippines and Japan. The night before the wedding, God reminded me to be joyful in spite of the circumstances.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habbakuk 3:17-18

We wedded at our favorite restaurant, Armonia in Fukuchiyama. This was where we had our first date on March 19th, 2020. Two years later, who would have thought we would get married in the same place? It was the perfect venue for our intimate wedding. It felt like dining at home with family and friends in the presence of God. We encountered technical difficulties during our live-streaming via Zoom because it snowed and rained a little, but it all turned out more beautiful than we imagined it to be. 

Since the wedding was during my spring break, we had a short but enjoyable honeymoon in Osaka. Thank God my husband took two days off from work! We had so much fun in USJ. We were able to release all the stress we got from wedding planning. It was our first time at Harry Potter and it turned out to be our favorite. Afterward, we stayed in a hotel in Namba, Osaka, and ate a hearty sushi dinner. Then the next day, we drove to Philippine Consulate General Osaka to apply for the Report of Marriage and walked outside the Osaka Castle grounds enjoying our first hanami as husband and wife.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6 NIV

Love is amazing. For us, this is illustrated in Romans 15:5-6. It was the verse that God shared with me when I was praying for my life partner in Odaiba, Tokyo in October 2013. I really had no idea about the future that God already planned for me then in Japan. This is God's love.

Seeing Grace

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful." ~1 Thessalonians 5:24

I would say that the four-month planning for our August wedding in the Philippines and the wedding itself were God's miracles. It was hard to search for the best suppliers online without meeting them in person. But I was able to benefit from my family and friends' experiences and the internet gave away a lot of information too. Discovering an e-invite website called withjoy.com (see ours here Kaye and Kensho) saved us from the costs of printed invitations and delivery. Zoom was also very useful for communication. Though the flight tickets skyrocketed because of the high demand and the low number of planes flying from Japan, we were able to afford it with God's provision.

The pandemic made a lot of things challenging but there were answered prayers too. While searching for venues with the help of my mother, I suddenly came across an article that outline the intimate venues in Quezon City. Lemuria Fine Dining Restaurant fit exactly what we wanted---simple, homey yet classy with good food and location. It fits us as a couple so well. God also provided for all the suppliers. Though the decision-making was tough due to financial reasons, He taught us to trust Him.

We wanted the officiating pastor to be my father's disciple during their Tokyo University days who became one of the head pastors of Tokyo Baptist Church. It so happened that he and his wife were also flying to the Philippines to visit their family in August. They happily agreed to attend our wedding and so, we were able to set the wedding day after they arrived in Manila. God truly plans everything and sometimes it takes years to see the fruits. 

We were grateful that my husband's mother, sister, and brother were able to go to the Philippines and meet my family for the first time. Unfortunately, his father and second cousin, who also happened to be his best man, couldn't come. As for my family's side, my father got sick a few days before the wedding and my cousin from Hungary, who was my best woman, couldn't come too. Some of our families and friends couldn't make it for health and work-related reasons as well. Because of a world crisis, we understood that this would happen and we were just so grateful that everyone was safe and covid-free.

I couldn't deny that walking down the aisle without my father hurt me the most. It was one of the top reasons why we had a second wedding in the Philippines. But I am truly grateful that his condition was not severe and we were able to see him well before and after the wedding. He even prayed for me and Kensho on the day of our flight back to Japan. It was a wonderful blessing. It brought me back to the emotions the day I left for Japan on my own for the first time but multiplied a hundred. 

Despite the setbacks, doing a second wedding in August allowed our families and friends to meet for the first time. It was such a beautiful reunion. We were able to see our loved ones after three years or more. The greater purpose was actually beyond being married to my life partner or whom I named *whoishe?* since high school. The most important thing is that God was glorified and the Gospel was shared with everyone. Kensho's family was able to meet Filipino Christians and their hearts were touched. Thank God for His amazing grace!

Seeing Stability and Growth

For the first time ever since I came to Japan, I did not move to a new city. It was a feat to have lived in the same apartment for almost two years. I really thank God because planning two weddings in a year, having a day job, saving for moving expenses, and moving to a new home were already making us busy and crazy. But He truly set everything in order.

I also received a new role as an International Girls Connect Group leader at church a few months before. Being an introverted person, I was filled with hesitation at first. I asked God, "Who am I to lead girls from different nations?" But I just said yes to my leader and transitioned from a substitute and co-leader to leading the group by myself. Through this, I also remembered my ultimate purpose of migrating to Japan. Hindi lang dahil Japan Japan sagot sa kahirapan. LOL. It is not only to continue sharing lives and learning from Japanese people. God wants me to grow by leading foreigners like me closer to Him. I should not run away or shy away from my purpose. I must continue to do the work that He has called me to do.

"For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints as you still do." Hebrews 6:10-11

Seeing Salvation 

Two weeks before the wedding in March, my husband got baptized. He wanted to do it sooner but he felt it wasn't the right time due to the worsening covid-19 situation. I was surprised one day when he delivered the news after scheduling with the church pastor and his Bible study group leader. We traveled to Kyoto city and it all happened in a small ofuro or bathtub inside a church member's apartment. It was live-streamed to other members of the church. We were all filled with joy. It was surreal.

In September, my husband's brother and girlfriend attended church in Shibuya, Tokyo. Then in November, my husband's mother attended church with us. The following week, she attended an online small group and was baptized. Everything happened so fast. God's plan is amazing! We are now witnessing the seeds that God has planted in their hearts since their visit to the Philippines. "The Blessing" was perfect for our worship song at our wedding. We chose it to claim God's favor over our families.

"May His favor be upon you | And a thousand generations | And your family and your children | and their children and their children." The Blessing, Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes, & Elevation Worship

Seeing Joy

Traveling around Japan with my husband in May and June became an extension of our honeymoon. We weren't able to go abroad to celebrate due to health and travel restrictions. We were both asthmatic which made us at-risk. But we were blessed to be able to travel around Japan in his vintage cars and made good memories in places where we have never been together.

Moreover, seeing my family after two and a half years was very precious to us. Honestly, going home made us so busy and tired. But decluttering my room and cleaning our UP home was very therapeutic. We said goodbye to old things and kept those that matter. There were still a lot of things left to do before we move out of our UP home. My parents and brothers were also busy with work plus quarantine measures. Because of a new coronavirus outbreak, we couldn't go on a trip somewhere outside Manila. It was better to be safe than sorry. 

Seeing New Beginnings

In October, my husband and I were already on the brink of finding an apartment that fits. While I was complaining to him about my frustration, he opened his phone and suddenly found a new advertisement for a pet-friendly 1LDK apartment. It was located in Ayabe, my first home in Japan, and where we first met. It was the place God was referring to me in Genesis 28:15-16. 

We called the real estate agent the following day and looked at the videos and pictures more. Even though it wasn't available for viewing yet due to a tenant living in it, we knew it was the one. We found ourselves signing the papers at the second meeting. We were able to see the inside of the apartment two weeks before our moving-in date in December. It was almost three months of waiting. Every day, our excitement grew and we would tell each other, "I want to move, I want to move." The apartment turned out better than our imagination. 

Reserving a home without seeing it in person might seem ridiculous, but we prayed for it and claimed that God has chosen and prepared this place for us to start our life together. Though I wouldn't recommend this to everyone, for us it was a great example of exercising our eyes of faith.

Seeing Miracles

At the end of December and the beginning of January, I was able to meet my husband's grandparents. This was long overdue because I was afraid that I would not be accepted. My husband's grandmother was just fine. She was very kind and generous, giving us food and household stuff every now and then. But my husband's grandfather was a very strict man and everybody knew that it wasn't easy to get along with him. 

When my husband's grandfather met me, the exact opposite happened. He initially asked if I was his grandson's husband and welcomed me to his home with a big smile. He willingly showed his interest in history by bringing out some historical books, one of which was a book on Japanese colonial times in Asia. When he handed me the book, he apologized for Japan conquering the Philippines in the past even though it wasn't his fault at all. But I could feel the sincerity and he really understood what happened then. He also took notes about my name, hometown, and university on his planner. What he saw or felt in me, I don't know yet, but I am grateful for that miraculous moment. 

Thirteen years ago, a family friend once told me, "Everything will flash before your eyes." I now understood what he meant. To be able to see through our eyes, we must be closer to God. We have to refocus when our vision gets blurry and be sensitive to God's leading, especially the redirections. With His guidance, we receive a valuable gift --- the ability to see beauty beyond what our natural eyes can see. I believe the same for everyone. If we cast our eyes on Jesus (Psalm 123:2), we can possess a greater sense of sight.

2023 started a little tough for me. But with a brand new perspective, I believe that this season is bringing tremendous growth that would help me reach God's greater plans. 

On December 31st, I spent my quiet time hearing from God and just listening to Him. I would like to stand by this verse as we undergo growth this year.

"Jesus said, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that does not produce fruit. He also trims every branch that produces fruit to prepare it to produce even more. You have already been prepared to produce more fruit by the teaching that I have given you. Stay joined to me and I will stay joined to you. No branch can produce fruit alone..." John 15:1-4 ERV

Three months have already passed but I am still decreeing a fruitful year ahead for all of us! 

Let's #Grow2023 to the full!

October 24-30, 2022

I'm enjoying this writing activity more than I expected. It doesn't give me the pressure to write something interesting for others. I just needed to write for myself and allow the words to come out. 

This week is another full workload. Whenever I arrive home, I have to cook dinner, do household chores, and have a little ME time. Then, I can eat, clean up, and relax with my husband, Kensho. The household chores are the same and I couldn't squeeze in some of the things that I want to do. But these five things give me joy and I am grateful.

1. Good people at work

I am really thankful that the people that I work with every day are very kind. Sometimes they leave food on my table or hand it out to me personally sometimes. They don't provide "emotional" support always but they don't discriminate either. They must be having their own idea of me when they watch me work. But I haven't heard any complaints from them. One of the Japanese Teachers of English that I work with also told me that she has not been told bad things about me either. So, I must be doing just fine. Yahoo!

2. New Home

For months after we got married in March, Kensho and I have looked for apartments and houses online, talked with agents, and visited some in person. But we couldn't find the right fit. Then one night when we were both on the brink and I was complaining to him about my frustration, he opened his phone right away and looked. A new advertisement for a pet-friendly 1LDK apartment appeared at once! What great timing! The next day, Kensho called them right away because there might be a lot of people looking for the apartment that we wanted. Our goal is to find a place close to the convenience store, supermarket, post office, etc., where we can keep a pet, and where I can commute by train to my schools. Ayabe station is just 7 minutes away. 

It's amazing when we've found the place where all of our top needs would be met, we could decide right away. We're so excited that we have been telling each other every day, "I want to move, I want to move." We've never felt this much desire to move to a new place. ((:

Last Saturday, we signed the contract and received all the papers. This is such a great blessing!

3. Leading People to Jesus

I started as a substitute leader for the International Girls Connect Group when my leader couldn't make it because she had to take care of her newborn last February to March this year. I have been joining the group since November 2019 when I first came to Lifehouse Kyoto Church and met a lot of great women of God. Since the pandemic started, the group has been meeting online. But a lot of girls have come and gone back home, moved to a different church or country, and became busy with their jobs and life in general. I couldn't blame them because a church evolves in various ways and nothing is permanent. 

I stepped up a lot this year. At first, I was so hesitant in taking the lead because I feel inadequate and far from the main church. I couldn't go to church every Sunday because Kyoto city is two hours away. The only thing I can do consistently is to be there online. So far, the groups are still meeting online and that's one thing that's never gonna disappear, I guess, due to the nature of people attending. 

I have been given this task as a way of serving God. I am excited about what He is doing and the greater things coming ahead!

4. Love

I'm really happy that I could speak to my loved ones in the Philippines, America, Hungary, Germany, and other parts of the world through social media anytime I want. I really miss my family and friends so much. There are days that I just cry and get emotional. It's tough being away from people that I've spent almost the past 35 years with. 

5. My Birthday

My husband and I woke up at midnight and noticed that there are only 7 minutes left before October 30th. We started to pray in bed and waited excitedly. Then when the clock struck 12, he said "Otanjoubi omedetou, chan-Kaye. Kansha shimasu." which means "Happy birthday, Kaye-chan. I am grateful." We finished our prayers and hugged each other. It didn't start quite well when we woke up in the morning. I was having a hormonal imbalance again. Huhu. But Kensho was so patient and kind. He tried to help me pick out something to wear even though it was really hard for me. He also listened and hugged me when I uttered my frustrations about myself. We were supposed to go to Lifehouse Kyoto church but since it was traffic, we couldn't make it and just went back in time to watch the online service. It was the right choice because we were able to listen to the preaching well and received God's Word clearly. Afterward, Kensho took a quick nap, and then we went shopping for wine, pasta sauce, and pickles at Yamasho, and went window shopping for appliances at AEON Mall. We were so amused by the different features of refrigerators and washing machines and shocked by the prices. Then, Kensho and I went to Kinugawa to buy a fruit cake. We went home, relaxed, and cooked dinner together. After taking a warm bath, I blew out my cake. Kensho even closed the lights to get a dim effect. It was very sweet! He said that he wasn't able to buy a present. But I told him that our new apartment is our gift to each other. It was a very simple but genuine celebration with no need for pretensions and fancy things. 

Last year, I also got engaged. I couldn't believe that it has only been that long. In a year, we were able to hold two weddings with our families and friends. 

God is so good! I should continue believing and being grateful for the smallest things.

Thank you so much, Lord.

I look forward to the joy that You bring to my life every day.

K

October 17-23, 2022

Lately, life has been steady but I couldn't help but feel confused and impatient about many things. My idea of making these negative vibes go away is to write. I read the book "The Happines Project" by Gretchen Rubin in 2009 and it changed my life back then. Currently, she has been doing a list of things that make her happy in her newsletter. I have been enjoying reading about hers so I want to try and do the same. 

Hopefully, I can keep up with my own weekly list of 5 Things That Give Joy. I want to be more intentional about ALL THE GOOD THINGS happening to me. Whether they are big or small, they deserve to be acknowledged and valued. They are God's blessings that can encourage me when things get off track. 

1. 7:27 train

My daily commute every day starts at 7:20 when I leave the apartment and walk to the train station for three minutes (excluding stoplights). Though the fact that I couldn't leave later than that does not make me happy, I am grateful for the chance to discipline myself and stick to a routine. Because I take a bath at night, it's eliminated from my Morning To-Do List. I could focus on washing my face, getting dressed, putting on a little make-up, organizing my room, and preparing the breakfast that I could bring to the station and eat before I go to work. In 50 minutes, I could do some of these simultaneously. 

I've been multi-tasking for as long as I could remember. But I honestly feel that waking up an hour earlier is better. If I wake up at the same time as my husband, I could be more productive and relaxed. I could even do a short yoga routine plus quiet time/meditation to start the day right. Maybe I could even add that to one of the 5 things that make me happy next week!

2. Easy online shopping

In Japan, you could easily shop online and the delivery is superb. It's so efficient that the courier companies deliver in a day or two and you can also specify the date and time that you prefer. Requesting for redelivery is very easy as well. You can easily call the assigned delivery person and state your time of availability. This is the fastest and most convenient but there are call charges. For free, you could just change your delivery requests through the online website as well. 

My recent purchase is a wooden iron stand and a good steam iron that I bought on sale. Buying things for the home really spark joy. I try to invest more in quality items even though they are pricier. I prefer good quality products that can last for many years rather than inexpensive products that could be replaced in a year or two.

3. Indoor plant companions

The touch of nature inside the hom relaxes me. When my mother came to Ayabe, Kyoto in May 2019, she helped me choose a few plants to decorate my apartment. However, they all died during winter. 

When I moved to Nishinomiya, Hyogo the following year, my first indoor plant that is still alive today is a Monstera from a nearby supermarket. I named it Monti. I'd accidentally left it out on the balcony during a hot day two summers ago but it survived. When I went to IKEA Tsuruhama, I also carried home a medium-sized ZZ plant that is still thriving in the kitchen now.  

This year, I've added a Sansevieria Cylindrica (snake plant) which is still happily surviving too. I hope to expand this family after we move to a bigger home soon. Yay!

4. Manageable schedule

My everyday workday in the Philippines had been toxic. A teaching job doesn't end at 5 p.m. It ends at 12 a.m. and sometimes materials preparation ends at 3 a.m. or no sleep at all. Because I could not be paid for my overtime work, I had to leave school on time. Thus, I worked at home. There was mostly no time for family and unwinding during weekdays. 

Here in Japan, I rarely bring work home. My first year of teaching was an exception because I was adjusting to everything. I was also Teacher 1 in most of my schools so I prepared all the lessons and materials and the Japanese Teachers of English only provide support to me and the students. The more manageable lessons started during my second and third years of teaching when the rule was implemented and more Japanese teachers were trained to lead the English lessons with or without an Assistant Language Teacher. My Japanese Teachers of English are really good teachers but they still couldn't speak English straight in class. My school days are mostly full from first period to sixth period. But lesson planning and materials preparation don't happen everyday because my JTEs have usually prepared it before I come to school. We mostly do team teaching, checking of worksheets, and lesson planning together. To be honest, I think this is not the best set-up that I like for my teaching career  because I also need growth, command in the classroom, and a sense of fulfillment. But for now, I'm just being the best Teacher 2 that I could be. 

My job schedule also allows me to arrive home about one or two hours before my husband, Kensho. I could prepare dinner and organize the home before he arrives. He wants us to eat dinner together every night so instead of working overtime, he finishes work at 5:00 p.m., organizes everything, walks his hunter dog, and drives home. 

5. Married life

Kensho and I have been married for six happy months. I couldn't believe that it has been that long! We still haven't gone through all the photos and videos of our two weddings. But we're working on it and posting soon. Lol! All thanks to God for making all these happen. 

I am really grateful that I have a husband who cares enough to come home early, relax, and spend quality time with me after work despite his hectic schedule. We also grew up differently, but we are able to work it out every day. Language is still challenging though lately, we are getting used to communicating using our own language mix. Ganbarimasu!

Living with another person again after moving to Japan has taken the loneliness away. But my "me time" has been compromised and only weekends make up for it. It is also challenging when we are both in a not-so-good state. What I am really thankful for is the love and patience that we have for each other and God guiding our hearts, minds, and actions. Kensho has been the perfect person to stand my "adult tantrums" or what our family calls "berat mode." Lol. Being quick to forgive and understand each other is something that has really saved us and we're practicing this by God's grace. 

Thank God for these 5 things! I still couldn't believe how my life turned out unexpectedly here in Japan. I remember praying in the past, traveling to places, and dreaming about the things that I have now. 

Of course, we still have a lot of unanswered prayers. But God has been really good and faithful to us and our loved ones. He has been answering prayer after prayer and telling us to wait a little more for His answers. 

Lately, He has been teaching me again to set aside quality time with Him in prayer, journalling, and worship. I feel like I've been losing my childlikeness when life keeps me busy. It is really therapeutic to slow down, reflect, and be thankful for all things big and little. 

Though there is uncertainty in this season, I am sure of one thing: Joy and peace come from God alone.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I am excited to reflect on the next 5 things next week and literally SEE God's blessings.

With joy,

K

The first faith test happened at the beginning of the year when I resigned from my job, began a new job, and moved cities for the second time in Japan. I wrote about it in this blog, "The Art of Changing Homes," which I wasn't able to share due to life getting in the way. I really thank God for taking care of the whole process and bringing me to my new destination safely.

Like many Filipinos abroad, the pandemic brought the toughest faith test to me. Not seeing my family and baby pets for two years was very difficult. I could imagine the hearts of others who haven't gone home for more than three years. Though we had a lot of audio/video calls throughout the year, nothing beats the physical presence of loved ones. However, God surrounded me with the right people during the pandemic who became my support system in Japan. Eventually, my worry-wart nature subsided and as a result, I was able to build strong bonds and friendships with the people He placed around me. The key for me is to support others in the best way that I could and the support goes back. 

"I will save you, and you will be a blessing." Zechariah 8:13 NIV

Anticipate Healing

This pandemic has also taken a lot of beautiful things from my family such as going home for my brother's wedding, building the dream house that we love, and receiving complete healing for the sick loved ones. But God's plans are higher and beyond what we could ever imagine (Isaiah 55:8-9). Instead of focusing on the negatives, I directed myself to acceptance and recreation and I achieved mental and spiritual healing. But of course, it still broke my heart when I heard sad news from people. The best thing that I could do is pray. Despite this, I am just grateful that many of our family and friends are alive and we're fighting the good fight of faith together. 

In my new and humble hometown, I also found healing for a health problem that I have been battling for a long time. Who could have thought I would find treatment here of all places? The clinic was just a five-minute walk from my apartment. Another surprising fact was the doctor could speak and understand English. So, I was able to go alone after my first visit. The effects of the medicine made me worry at first. But then I just trusted God and found out that it suits my body after all. As for the expenses, God provided everything. 

Anticipate His Help Through Others

I also learned how to receive help from people, which was a little tough because I grew up strong and independent with "Kakayanin ko 'to" attitude. Lol. Another fact was my love language of service was depleting due to summer vacation at that time. When I received help, oftentimes I felt that there was a need to give back at once. I really don't like the concept of "utang na loob" practiced in Filipino culture. Because I'm in Japan and living alone, it's natural that people would offer more help to me than me giving to them. So, I started changing my old mindset. I must continue to think that people help or give something because it is in their hearts to do it without receiving anything in return. Though some people treat others like this, right? Huhu. But then it's not healthy for me to think of people's intentions this way. I should also be kinder to myself and allow others to help me.

Anticipate Transformation

My character was also transformed as I dealt with social situations wherein I had to practice "pakikisama" to the nth level. It was easy for me to stick to my beliefs and ways, but it was a challenge to adjust to people from a different culture. Socializing has always been awkward and difficult, especially around people that I do not know well. I could be misunderstood or disregarded which was often caused by a lack of speaking up or direct communication. But when I knew that my heart and intentions were pure, I just let go of the need to be understood and allowed people to make their own choice of action. By God's will, I believe that things come and go; people come and leave. Everything works out in the end, always for the best.

Anticipate Promises Fulfilled

In 2019, my birthday wish was to achieve permanence in my life and I had faith in God that He would fulfill it. I am sure that placement is a different story due to the nature of my job and my ever-changing plans in life. Yet, exactly a year later, God gave permanence in a form of a person--Kensho, my kareshi (boyfriend), and soon, someone I will spend the rest of my life with. In God's perfect time, I met *whoishe?*, the guy in my weird dream in high school, whom I've not spoken about for a decade or so. God is so good and faithful! I also have an idea about where I will live at least for the next couple of years. It's now legit! Japan is home. 

The verse below was the Lord's promise when I was sitting alone in Odaiba, Tokyo, and praying for God to direct my heart to the right person. Kensho was not a Christian when I met him two years ago. But he is now building an intimate relationship with God. This verse is now rhema, God's Word in action.

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6

During the last night of 2021, Kensho and I found ourselves doing the Marriage Preparation workbook. We began chapter 4: Goals at the perfect time. Writing faith goals and new year's resolutions was something that I've done since high school to singlehood. It marks as a sign that from now on,  I can look forward to doing the goal-setting with God and someone beside me to build dreams, fulfill goals, and pray with. It excites me even more that there is a great future, intricately designed for us, that we can embrace.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14 (March 12, 2021)

Passing the faith tests wouldn't be possible without God's guidance and leading. About ten years ago, a family friend prophesied, "You will see everything flash before your eyes. For this prophecy to come to pass, you need to believe and focus on God." 

Some of the things that I've been praying for then just happened last year. Truly enough, it takes anticipation, perseverance (Hebrews 10:36), and a leap of faith to believe in His promises, to keep seeking and asking, and to do His will. We need faith to look beyond what we can see and say that the Lord is good. 

Despite the saddening situation in the world, I still anticipate and decree that we can #SEE2022 with fresh eyes of faith and witness more blessings and miracles. May we taste His love pouring like wine in every area of our lives. 

Cheers to a fresh year and a great future ahead!

あけましておめでとうございます！[Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu!]

Whether virtual or in person, thank you for being a memorable part of my year. <3

What happens when someone moves to a new home? How does one's life changes? How does one's relationships grow through the years? And what is the easiest way to get used to and adjust to the unknown environment? 

I've thought about these questions every time my family and I moved houses in the Philippines. As a family, we have moved five times due to numerous reasons. The earliest memory that I have is our apartment unit in Paco, Manila where we lived in the same building as my mother's sister, her husband, and cousins. Then, we moved to crowded neighborhoods nearby, San Andres Bukid and Aurora A. The next house was a big move from Manila to Quezon City because my father's office was and still is in UP Diliman. I also passed the UP entrance examination so we were really destined to go. We lived in Hardin ng Rosas until 1999. Most of my childhood were spent around off-white concrete apartment buildings with a relaxing view of rice fields. I played all sorts of Filipino games with my friends outside. I got scolded by my parents numerous times for not coming home on time or sneaking out of the house without their permission. But throughout my childhood, I was able to enjoy playing outside which I am now very grateful for. When our family moved to a bigger house in a quiet neighborhood in Area 2, I thought it was the end of all the good friendships I've had. I missed my fun childhood in Hardin ng Rosas. But eventually, I fell in love with the new home and peaceful environment. It was closer to my school, the university shopping center, and other places we went to frequently. I invited friends to our home and my parents were able to get to know them. I also grew closer to my family, storing a mixture of happy and sad memories in 20 years in this beautiful home. 

When I left the Philippines in 2019, I knew that leaving Manila and moving to Japan would be challenging. If I had the final say in my job placement in Japan, I wanted to work in a big metropolitan city like Manila. My first choice was Tokyo and my second choice was Osaka for these cities were the most familiar to me. In Tokyo, I could attend Dad's former church, Tokyo Baptist Church in Shibuya, and I've made friends with some of them in 2017. Living in Osaka would be convenient since it's close to the airport. It's easy to explore other places in Japan as well. It sounded so perfect. However, God has planned something else. I was placed in Ayabe city in northern Kyoto prefecture where I experienced God's turn-around years. 

During my first year of teaching in Ayabe, I couldn't deny that the thought of moving to Tokyo never came to my mind. Unexpectedly, a lot of events happened in the latter part of the school year. The pandemic began. So I decided to stay in the countryside to be safer and away from covid-19. Despite this, I was relocated to teach in Nishinomiya city in Hyogo prefecture not because of my performance but due to decisions by the Board of Education that were out of our control. I enjoyed the ambiance and convenience of this suburban city located near Amagasaki and Ashiya, all sandwiched in the middle of Kobe and Osaka. It was also easier to meet friends who lived in nearby cities. Kansai airport was only an hour away by train. However, due to the pandemic, I couldn't travel anyway. Shopping and exploration also got more exciting because I could visit various stores on my way home or on weekends. But I felt no sense of community in Nishinomiya that attaches me in a special way.

When I was about to make up my mind to stay for another year in the city, another surprise came from my former employer. Two months before the end of my contract, I was assigned to teach in Osaka for the following school year. I actually saw it as a good opportunity because I knew that Osaka was the assignment offered to me before I came to Japan. In 2017, I also dreamt of my Dad telling me that I am going to Osaka. I knew that working there would provide greater opportunities because I could teach in the company's biggest contracting schools and the contract could be more stable. It could also have been so exciting to live closer to the airport, meet a new Filipino community, and experience a busy city lifestyle too.

However, I was worried about the worsening pandemic and greater distance from the good community that I have in Kyoto. It was a risk that I had to prepare myself to take. Another challenge was the long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He supported my decision to move to Osaka despite the two-hour drive one-way. It was not because distance mattered that much in love, but time and money could be saved.

God must have heard our innermost prayers. I listened to God's voice that prodded me to send an email to a company that I applied to last year. The placement was Fukuchiyama city, a 20-minute or less drive from Ayabe. I couldn't get a placement without a driver's license then. But since I was already hired last year, my application process went smoothly for the second time, and the email exchanges and Skype final interview only happened in three days. Though I still didn't possess a driver's license, I was assigned to schools that could easily be accessed by train, bus, or bicycle. It was God's divine intervention. The job set-up matches my schedule and lifestyle well. The people at my schools were also kind and generous. It felt good to be back in northern Kyoto and live a laid-back lifestyle once again. 

Moving into my new apartment was really tedious. Who would have thought that I could accumulate a lot of stuff in a span of two years? With the help of my boyfriend and his family, I was able to move successfully. My Leo Palace apartment was just what I needed during this crazy pandemic. It was big enough for me, located in a peaceful neighborhood, and just a three-minute walk from the station. It also has a bigger kitchen that is located at the back of the main room near the sliding doors to the balcony. I'm not a fan of the small Japanese kitchens located right in front of the genkan or the main hallway. The layout is nice except for a sink in the main room near the closet. But it's very convenient to use. The rent is in the mid-range type, a little higher than my apartment in Nishinomiya but way lower than my apartment in Ayabe. I could save more money if I choose the older Leo Palace apartments but they are smaller. I still chose to live in a Leo Palace because of the appliances included in the rent. I don't want to spend on appliances that I will not use after I move out. Also, if I live in the city center, I will see my co-workers and students more which is a little weird for me. So, I'm really happy with my choice.

Now, the idea of moving seems to be less fearful and more therapeutic. I find art and joy in it. Whenever I move, I am packed with a lot of learnings and experiences. Let me start with this learning:

Moving makes you fearless.

People who move often appear to be less fearful about life. They take risks and embrace the unknown future with more courage and confidence.

Basically, I had no choice but to brave out and face the pandemic when it had struck Japan. I was able to contain my fears and pain of being away from my family and friends in the Philippines for almost two years. I also could not see my friends in Japan because of fear of getting the virus. I had to almost everything and move to a new place on my own.

I was moved by moving. 

Moving is tiring! Sometimes, it can cause breakdown and stress, especially if time is running out. As a single individual, it is daunting to do all the packing by myself. But I also realized that I was not alone at all. There were people who empathized and offered help to ease my burdens. 

When I was preparing for my big move to Japan, my family and friends helped me a lot in packing and getting everything I need. I also received help from people in Ayabe when I moved to Nishinomiya. People came over, put tapes on boxes, cooked dinner for me, carried the boxes to the moving van, got rid of my garbage, and took it to the recycling center or gave them to someone else who needed them. 

When I moved from Nishinomiya, one Japanese teacher helped me in accomplishing my medical requirements for my next job. It came in the process of packing so having someone to meet and release the stress with was helpful. On my moving day, my boyfriend drove his truck, carried my boxes, some furniture, and a mamachari bicycle. At first, we thought that everything wouldn't fit but he was able to be a McGyver and made all things intact. Whew!

The kindness and generosity of people have moved me.

Home is where God is.

When I first moved into my new apartment in Ayabe, it took a little time to get used to the different environment and community. Namamahay nga, ika sa atin. But I realized right away that we don't make our homes, God does. We can live anywhere for a short time, and for others, it takes forever. But God brought us to these places for great purposes beyond our imagination. Only by living in various homes could make us discover them. 

Some of my friends have told me that I'm already an expert at moving. But it's never the case. Each city that I lived in Japan portrayed a season of learning. Ayabe was full of adjustments and cultural immersion. Nishinomiya was about seeking and finding direction. Now, in Fukuchiyama, I am excited to continue braving out and begin a new chapter.

Through the years, I settled in homes with my family. I also moved out of our family home, out of the country, and into a foreign land by myself. The result was I found God more. I could trust Him that He would guide me to beautiful homes in the future. I could carry all the memories of homes that I've lived in, the relationships that I've built in it, and the learnings I've kept in my mind and by heart.

I thank God for always being with me wherever I go.

The dream houses that I drew for my directions and maps English lesson. <3