When I write my crappy poems, I write them past midnight or even worst at daybreak. But today, I was having my Quiet Time when I suddenly grabbed a sheet of paper, a pen, and started jotting down the first thoughts that passed through my head. It was totally a jumble of words but thanks to God, the words made sense and it goes like this:

When the road of partition comes
Uncertainty envelopes within
The roads of two seem blurry and dim,
and a thick fog hugs them all in.
As the ground appears to tremble,
One cannot discern her road
Bless the foot of this lost traveler
as she swims to find her gold.
She then walks but stands,
Erect and still she waits upon
A voice of truth and mercy and love
'Till her rushing water within calms down.
She flies like a bird in blue skies
Across grasses of green on meadows far and wide,
Keeps searching for a place to call better and safe
To a golden tree she perches and stays.
Her flapping wings bloom in the setting sun
In the arms of the tree she seems to hurry and run
As she looks up and sees the light,
she turns golden, His golden child.

May 23, 2011
11:18 a.m

Usually, some people wonder why others tend to buy a lot of things when other people don't get to buy them. There are people who think buying some things for themselves is not worth it while some people think those things mean the world to them (well, not exactly the world because that's materialism already lol --but you get the picture). When it comes to these things that each individual loves, let's face it: We don't have any say on it. In Filipino, "Walang pakialamanan." Hahaha. Besides, it's his/her money and not yours. So just spare her the possibility of her own satisfaction or dissatisfaction afterwards.

These little things are the ones I couldn't resist buying (except when I'm completely broke):

BOOKS

For me, books are friends. A book can turn into a friend when you lift its pages, trying to find some sense or meaning of words.. of people.. of life itself. As I have always said, I never regretted buying a book whether it is brandnew or thrifted. It always gets a specific portion of my savings/hard-earned money. I am actually planning to build a huge library (with stairs!) inside my future house someday. Haha! Favorite book: The Bible. Unexplainable.


CONCERT TICKETS

When it comes to my most favorite bands out there, getting a ticket shouldn't have to be an issue. Honestly, sometimes it has become a pain especially during my high school and early college days. But let me tell you that I have regretted that. No matter how expensive that is, it is my joy to see and hear from them live. The feeling I get in every concert is pure bliss. I feel like my heart has been touched to its core. So to my *whoishe?* out there, you know where to take me out. :p

A Dream: Olivia Wilde's Closet

FASHION

Shopping for clothes is one of my weaknesses. I like to mix and match so I really keep a lot of clothes whether old or new in my closet. I actually gave many away but I started not to lately because I think they still could be of good use in the future. Maybe I decide to wear them again, right? But of course, I still know how to discipline myself on buying clothes, especially the "branded" ones. That is the purpose of Ukay-ukay! I'm always happy with my fab thrift finds for they can really be kept for a very long time due to its good quality. Absolutely worth every penny spent! Moreover, when it comes to accessories, hats are my top weakness. Though I couldn't wear them every single day (I will if I can due to our weather), I keep them in a specific corner of my room. They are already full so I think I need another set of hat holders.


GRANOLA BARS

I'd definitely go for "Quaker Chewy Chocolate Chips"!!! I just discovered them this year and I totally fell in love with them. I think they're the most delicious thing to eat along with my favorite drink: Green Tea. Quaker Chewy completes my day! I wouldn't mind buying one box every week. That's how addicted I am. Hahaha!





PRINTED PHOTOS

I love to have my best photos printed out on a glossy/photo paper with a white border on the side. I post them all over my room. If we are very close, you'll see your faces in my room. Hee hee. No kiddin'. I'm planning to print out more this year because I garnered some really good friends lately. Also, I put it inside my planners, projects for school, and even gifts for friends. I don't really mind if it costs me a lot because it's definitely pure memories of people I certainly want to remember. I guess having them uploaded online isn't really enough. I'm a sentimental person like that. Technology wouldn't change a thing.




G-TECH

I'm a certified Pilot G-Tech user ever since it became popular among UPIS students in 2001 (if I remember it right). And up to now, I'm still using it because my handwriting becomes organized all the time. Haha. Pilot, you can grant me a loyalty award now. Well, it is really expensive for a pen that whenever it falls with the pointed edge towards the ground, you'll cry over it. To offer some advice, don't let it fall without a cover. Simple pen rule along with more caution on this kind.



EARPHONES

I have used tons of earphones in my whole life. I don't know why they easily break. But I guess it is also up to the user, right? Hahaha. This just shows how addicted I am to my Ipod which means I bring it anywhere. And whenever I bring it and it's out of battery, I nearly die --all the time. I also put it inside my disorganized bag and pull it out like pulling a normal string. I'm not really THAT careful, I know. But whenever I buy a new one, I don't really regret it because I know my Ipod will suck without it.


Well, I still know there are more things I couldn't resist buying but maybe I'll make another blog including that. For now, these are the first ones that popped into my mind. I am also planning to rewrite the things I need to do before my 23rd year ends one of these days. I am currently in a life-changing moment. Unemployed and all, I am definitely enjoying this freedom. Ain't faking this anymore.

I know I am a planner. I always have an eye for the future even way ahead of people my age and I have always created a definite path to go. But lately, the path seemed to go unclear, a cold thick fog surrounds me, different directions appeared, some closed already, and then I still found myself standing in the middle unsure of everything.

I am already twenty three but I felt like I am thirteen again. I feel so lost.

I haven't really had the guts to tell myself and the people close to me that I am not okay. I'm not alright. I kept telling that it's okay but it's not really. Today, I burst out. Let me tell you how I feel in Switchfoot's "Thrive":

Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me
Like doing things I find hard to believe in 
Am I myself or am I dreaming?

I've been awake for an hour or so
Checking for a pulse but I just don't know
Am I a man if I feel like a ghost?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive

I come alive when I hear you singing
But lately I haven't been hearing a thing
I get the feeling that I'm in between
A machine and a man who only looks like me

I try and hide it and not let it show
But deep down inside me I just don't know
Am I a man if I feel like a hoax?
The stranger in the mirror's been wearing my clothes

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive

I get so down, but I won't give up
I get so down, but I won't give up
I get so down, but I won't give up

Been fighting things that I can't see
Been fighting things that I can't see
A machine or a man who only looks like me

Thrive, thrive, thrive, yeaah, thrive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive
A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive

No, I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I wanna thrive not just survive 


I'm sure this is just a phase. I am down right now. But I will not give up. The Lord spoke to me, "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habbakuk 2:3

Lord, you are my Rock. Strengthen me now. Help me thrive, not just survive.

Similar to the Meet & Greet with Switchfoot experience, no words can also describe the Switchfoot Concert in Manila. It was awesome, MORE THAN FINE! Actually, it was the best concert that I have ever seen in my whole life. The reason why I'm saying this is maybe because they are my favorite band and I love the guys and their music. But mainly, it is because they always play with genuine PASSION not just for themselves, for their loved ones, for their fans, but above all, FOR CHRIST and that is everything a band could have.

At the railing

I started being a fan in 2002 when "A Walk To Remember" came out which has promoted some of their songs. Right away, I fell head over heels with the band and their music. I know that year was a little late because the band was formed in 1997. But for me, "favoriting" a band does not depend on the concept of time and age 'cause it is more of how deep your love is for the band. At the beginning of that year and up to the present, I listened to their songs, bought their albums, watched their music videos, followed them on Twitter (Be followed back and received DMs! Lucky girl!) and enjoyed their podcasts on YouTube. I had also planned on making a band shirt of them several times but I didn't get to finish the design (Haha I promise to do it this year). Because I was only a student at that time and I had lots of school work, I couldn't afford to become a really hardcore fan who buys "everything" Switchfoot, makes "anything" for Switchfoot, and even to watch their first concert in Manila back in 2007. I totally regretted not being there but I kind of believed then that I am going to get a second chance.

And yeah, of course I did. When I bought tickets for me and my friend Daphne on Valentines Day, I was not expecting it would really happen. I thought of going there alone but luckily, God brought a good friend of mine to experience it with me. It cost me most of my savings that I should just be keeping in the bank. But I didn't mind at all. I didn't get the VIP though I could afford it because I also wanted to save up for other important things as well. But I didn't regret it though. I'm fine with Courtseat A tickets. The most important thing for me then was the experience of watching them live. I am only 23 once (my favorite year) and this experience could be once in a lifetime.

Imago behind the railing

Imago opened for Switchfoot. They sang only three songs: Akap, Sundo, and Effect Desired None. I knew the lyrics of Akap and Sundo because they were part of my emo high school days of love crap (please don't let me go back to that anymore hahaha). Anyways, Imago did a really great job! As a fellow Filipino, they made me so proud. \m/

Filipino Pride! \m/

When the stage lights started flaring up and the guys started emerging, I was so STOKED that I motioned to Daphne to go straight for the railing in front of us. Everyone was heading forward to the stage! We just glued ourselves to the railing, pulled our chairs closer so that we could stand on it. It was a good sight! Though it wasn't that close, it was at the center and I could see the whole stage. One thing that really made the sight bad was that there were really too many heads. Well, we couldn't do anything about that 'cause it's a rock concert and people were meant to stand. LOL.

THIS IS THE SOUND

Switchfoot sang their first song at 9:20 pm. All in all, they played 16 songs. Here is the complete set list:
           * The Sound
           * Stars
           * Bullet Soul
           * Gone
           * Your Love Is A Song
           * Free
           * Always
           * Awakening
           * Meant To Live
           * Mess of Me
           * Learning To Breathe
           * This Is Home
           * The Shadow Proves the Sunshine to We Are One Tonight
        Encore:
           * Only Hope
           * Hello Hurricane
           * Dare You To Move

\m/

When Jon said, "Everyone take a picture at the same time at the count of 3!" it was EPIC.

MANILA LOVES YOU!

At 10:40 pm, the concert ended. And I was like, "This is not the end..." I was dumbfounded. I was actually dumbstrucked. I was in awe at every song they sung and played. I was in silence though everyone were almost screaming along with Jon Foreman at the top of their lungs. Amidst their sound, I found silence. I was in peace. And I heard God's voice in Jon's voice speaking to me. "Oh your love is a symphony, all around me, running through me. Ooh, your love is a melody, underneath me, running to me." It's just so amaziiiiiiiiiiiing how a band talented as Switchfoot could make it so well in the world music industry (Congrats on winning that Grammy Award!) and at the same time do it so well in using their talents for God. With Switchfoot, I can totally relate to their songs and they reach me in ways I could not possibly imagine.

I thank God for introducing Switchfoot to me the moment that I needed it the most in 2002. My path in life changed because of the music they make. I am so blessed not just to be able to watch their concert but to be able to meet Jon, Tim, Drew, Jerome, and Chad in person. They are awesome people you can really look up to. They are real, they don't pretend. I will forever be a fan, Switchfoot. This is definitely not the end.

Hoping to see you again in less than 4 years. I promise to be an FOTF by then. See you soon with my *whoishe?* this time perhaps (he he he).

As I have told Switchfoot in my note for them, no words can describe how much I appreciate their music and how they treat their fans. But maybe I can say that they are absolutely AWESOME people (sorry Drew, the others can also say "Sorry, I'm Awesome!").


First of all, I would like to thank all of my family, friends, and friends' connections that have supported me in 3 days in order to reach 1,000 likes in my Facebook video for Switchfoot Concert in Manila. At the deadline, I got more than a thousand likes. It's overwhelming to see who my very supported friends are. So I just had to say THANK YOU SO MUCH. I couldn't meet Switchfoot without you all! >:D<

At first, Switchfoot Concert in Manila didn't really inform me if I won the contest or I lost. I was in panic when I found out on April 25, 2011 that they have contacted the winners already. I wasn't even contacted! So I was in total shock and honestly, tears swelled in my eyes. That's how much I want to meet the guys. On the night of April 26, 2011, I posted a comment on their Facebook page but they didn't reply. So on April 27, 2011, I finally had the urge to call the Becca Music Inc office only to found out that I WON! They couldn't send me a message because my Facebook account settings were not in public mode and they were planning to make a comment in my video on that day. Why didn't they do that earlier? Hehehe. But the good thing was, I didn't really lose. I just waited patiently for awhile, let go and let God, then made a move when it was time. LOVE IS THE FINAL FIGHT. ((:

The next problem was the token that I planned to give them. I had so many ideas and I thought everything has already been done to them by their fans. So I thought of giving them something that connects them to music and Philippines and for them to remember us, not only me. Unaware of where to find our native instruments here without ordering them from the province, I tried my luck. I surfed through SM's Kultura and Department Store but I found nothing worthy to give. I walked towards Trinoma Landmark hoping to find my luck and yes, I did. God is so good! I found the "kubing"!!! I was like, "MY GOSH! KANINA KO PA 'TO HINAHANAP! (I was looking for this in a very long time!)" I also found a native basket similar to the one where you put bows and arrows and put there the instruments for each of them. In each instrument, I carved each name and posted a verse for each of them. I wanted them to know that I feel God in their songs. I also made a layout of my note for them, the instructions on how to play the instruments, and a symbolic painting. Here is a picture of it:


And so came April 30, 2011 and I was so STOKED! I left our house as early as possible hoping to meet my friend Daphne in Galleria. I rode the bus to EDSA, Galleria. I was near Galleria already when Daphne was in Cubao. At that time, she found out that she had left her ticket at home so she needed to go back. I was left to go to Ultra alone for the Meet & Greet. I thought I was going to be late because of the slow bus and the FX at the back of Galleria. But I got there just in time: 6:00 pm sharp though I was lost in finding the Ringside Gate II because of too many people lining up for tickets. Hahaha.

Let me tell you first that FILIPINO TIME is always present in ALL events. I was not even late for the Meet & Greet. I was way too early! When I got there, we lined up for registration, received a photo stub and we had to fill up some information sheet for Becca Music Inc. Then we waited for a looooooong time! At 6:30 PM, which was supposed to be the end of the Meet & Greet, we were still standing outside. I made some friends by talking to them about how they won the contest. Then Switchfoot started having their sound check first with Bullet Soul, then Needle and Haystack Life and I don't remember the others. WOAH. o_O I was like, I'm hearing Jon's voice right now and the Tim, Drew, Chad, and Jerome playing their thing. It was so cool! Even if I was standing there like a real loner, I have this experience to be thankful for. (:

That was only a tiny part of it though. At 7:00 PM, we started lining up and getting inside. OMG. This is a dream!! We were led to a small room where there were two groups of chairs, one for Becca Music Inc. and one for Friends of the Foot. I was seated at the 2nd row and I started talking to the other fan girls. It was great to meet some Switchfoot fans and communicate with them about the band. Then when the Friends of the Foot started to come in, we blurted out "Wow! There is a Friends of the Foot here in the Philippines?!?" So the bottom-line was, we were going to be members soon even if it costs us $49.95 (P2,000+) a year. It includes a free Meet & Greet passes each concert, a great bootleg CD, an awesome Friends of the Foot shirt, and a cool Friends of the Foot ID. It's totally worth it, right?? *grins*


One organizer came in and told the Friends of the Foot if it was alright to come out of the room because they had their time already. They looked really happy with some of them wearing their Friends of the Foot shirt and their cameras were full of pictures. AAAAHHHH. When they were gone, the organizer said we were supposed to have a picture with the whole band using our photo stubs and no autographs. YIKES. We were like, "I want a signature!!! :(" The guy named Jordan whom I recognized from the Switchfoot Eats Balut video came in saying, "I'm not Switchfoot!" and told us that the program was going to be really quick and they were going to line up while they sign our stuff one by one.

I was so STOKED and I couldn't even decide what to say or what to do. HAHAHA. When they finally came in, I exchanged DSLRs with Sofia, the girl in front of me which was honestly a big mistake and I know she knew that too. Haha. I was supposed to give it to Rayz, the girl behind me but I wasn't thinking straight. :| Well, here goes what happened:

MEET WITH TIM FOREMAN: I came first to Tim and he greeted me like he knew me for a long time. He has a real smile plastered on his face. I placed the camera on the table first and shook his hand. He asked for my name. WHEW. That was like heaven for me. I handed my Hello Hurricane DVD (Btw, I decided not to bring my other CDs) for him to sign and I said I brought them native instruments. I gave it to him and he was like, "Wow, this is so cool! Thank you so much!" I told him it has a really cool sound and it's easy to play. Then he kept saying "Cool" over and over as he started looking at the instruments. Then he said, "Wow. Thank you. We can use it for our next record." And I was like, "That would be so cool!" Then he said thanks one more time and showed it to Drew saying, "Hey, man look at this! She gave us native instruments."








MEET WITH JON FOREMAN: So I came to Jon, one of my favorite persons in the band in line with his brother Tim. He was one of the humblest persons I have ever known in my life. When I shook his hand while saying "Hi", he looked me in the eye and said, "Hi! How are you?" And I was like, "I'm good! How about you?" Then he said, "I'm doing great!" then he kept signing on my CD which I have handed him. He signed twice like it was the most exciting thing to do at that moment. I said, "Thank you!" And he said, "Thank you, too. It was nice meeting you!" I said, "Yeah, it was nice meeting you too." I absolutely didn't know the right words to say to this awesome man so I was like following his words. HAHA. This is what happens to me in front of people I really like. I lose myself. ((: But the look on his eyes and the tone of his voice felt genuine kindness to me. It was REAL.

MEET WITH JEROME FONTAMILLAS: Jerome was a bit busy so I was waiting for him to finish his conversation with the one in front of me. So when I saw Jon leaning over and saying to me, "So what songs do you know that we are playing tonight?" in a very quick manner which I didn't quite catch so I just said, "I don't know" in a funny manner now. Then he said, "Any guesses?" Then I said, "Always?" He nodded and said, "Yeah! What else?" to the person before me. I didn't hear her answer anymore because I was about to talk to Jerome so I turned to him instead. I said hi to Jerome and shook his hand. He said with a puzzled face pointing to my left, "Hi! Did you just pass by earlier?" And I said, "Uhh, no. It's my first time." And he said, "Ooooh okay!" shook his head like he finally got it. HAHA. I told him I brought them native instruments but he didn't hear me quite well so he leaned over and I told him closer this time. HAHA. I felt like we were friends. He said, "Wow, that's so cool (Is this the band's usual expression? Hahaha). I'll check it out later. Thank you." Then I handed him my CD, let him sign, and said my thanks.

MEET WITH  CHAD BUTLER: My meet & greet with Chad was the quickest among the members of the band. I just shook his hand, introduced myself, smiled, and let him sign my CD. He also signed twice! The bouncer/security was really near me at this time so I made it really quick. I was lost for words again so I just "Thanks Chad!" in a cheery way. HAHA.

Chad Butler - drums

Drew Shirley - guitar

Jon Foreman - lead vocals

Tim Foreman - bass guitar

Jerome Fontamillas - keys

When I was done, I went down the platform and took some pictures of them. Then we had a big groupie picture together with the whole band and the winners. As you can see, these are the best pictures they could give us (it's a REAL bummer I know :P).

When everyone's in chaos at the back, just stand still and try to look pretty. ((:

Grabbed from AstroPlus

Grabbed

Grabbed

Grabbed

Grabbed from Danielle Lacsamana

And I really have to mention this bad luck that I have had. After the group picture, people started taking pictures with the band. I exchanged DLSRs with Sofia again hoping to get a GOOD picture this time. So we went up to Jon and she had a picture first. Then when it was my turn and begged for one last picture, the bouncer motioned to Jon to go and he went away. :(( That was like the saddest part of the night. I could almost cry and Sofia said "Sorry sorry" so many times that she couldn't bring back the time. I took a picture of her with Jon and I had none. :| But I guess that only meant I'll have a second time once I become a Friend of the Foot already! HAHA. Moving on....

Honestly, the Meet & Greet that I have been imagining was like the one in the States where you can chat with the band and take pictures like long-time friends or something. But it wasn't like that and I was kind of disappointed. And we were like time constrained. I was hoping I will get to demonstrate how to play the "kubing" to them but I know the bouncers will attack me. T_T But still, thanks for Becca Music Inc. for making my dream come true. Despite all the fallbacks, I enjoyed your contest! ;)

The most important thing in this Meet & Greet program was that I got to talk with the guys, shook their hands, and let them appreciate what I had given them. Though I haven't really expressed so much how I love their music because I was really speechless, I have tried to put it in writing and I just hope they'll read it and learn to play the "kubing" and hopefully play it on their next album or show me that they can play it on one podcast or something. Well, if not, it's enough that they have appreciated it.

Thanks again for making this dream come true for me! Hope they come back again soon and I promise when I have a second chance to meet them, I'll utter more words and take more pictures with them. Wait 'til I become a Friend of the Foot. ;)

Love you, Switchfoot!

'Til we meet again. \m/

p.s. The concert was as AWESOME as the BAND. I'll try to blog and post pictures soon. :D